When other women are focused on his potential narcissistic traits, stalking him on IG and overthinking your last text exchange for hidden meanings, the women that work with me are relaxed, confident and focused on their lives when they’re dating a new man they’re SUPER excited about. 

My clients are meeting men and pursued by men that have their stuff together, are intelligent and ready for marriage.

These men communicate well, consistently show interest via text and phone calls, always book the next date before the current one ends and are open and honest about liking them and wanting more than just casual dates.  

Why? 

Because my clients have taken control of their love life and are creating the relationships of their dreams. 

My clients understand that love doesn’t fall on them.

They know that men don’t choose them. THEY choose the man.

She understands you don’t “find” true love. You create it. 

My clients transformed any and all fear they had around being seen, being loved and receiving from masculine energy. 

They’re completely turned off by avoidant men. 

They spot red flags and never ignore them. 

They are clear, committed to what they want and they’re confident about who they are. 

They value men, relationships and believe in true love. 

They trust men to protect and provide for them. 

They trust men with their heart and emotions. 

They aren’t stopping until they get what they want. 

The approach they took to creating their dream career is the approach they’re taking to their dream relationship. 

Men are the exact same way. This is why men don’t settle for just anyone and are ok with being single. They’re not selfish and non-committal. They’re just clear on what they want and what kind of woman they will commit to.

They are clear on who they are, what they have to offer a woman and what kind of relationship they want. 

And that’s the first step in having the relationship of your dreams. Having a relationship goal to move towards. 

This is one of the first things I do when working privately with a female client. And most women think they know what they want and they’re SHOCKED that they were looking at it all wrong. 

Most of them were told to make a list of all the qualities they want in a man, feel good about them and visualize him. They say “feel all the good feelings and you’ll spot him.” 

But this approach is totally backwards and WRONG!!!

This puts you in the position to always be looking for a man and then makes you want to approach him and make him yours.

It puts you into the masculine approach to dating…..pursuing!

And that is NOT the natural process a man uses to be with a woman. 

If you watched my masterclass on the winner method, you know that men MUST pursue a woman. This does not mean he chooses you. It means he sees you and is naturally attracted to you so he feels like he MUST approach you!

He feels naturally attracted and drawn to you when YOU are clear who you are, what you have to offer and what kind of relationship you want. Knowing these 3 things make you vibrate an energy that says “come and get me.” And HE WILL. 

And I want to show you exactly how to make it happen. 

This is exactly what I’m going to help you get 1,000% clear on in my new live workshop, Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals on Sunday, January 19th at 5 pm PST, (8pm PST).

New year, new love, right?

Join me and hundreds of women on the first step to creating the relationship of your dreams in a fun, LIVE workshop, done the RIGHT WAY. 

On Sunday, January 19th @ 5pm PST (8pm EST) I’m hosting the:

Create Your 2025 BIG LOVE Goals live workshop and it’s only $27

Start the new year with clarity, confidence and a clear plan to create the relationship of your dreams. 

What You’ll Learn:

• Review your 2024 relationship patterns to identify what worked, what didn’t, & what you truly desire in a relationship
• Learn exactly how to align your goals with the kind of relationship you want, focusing on the feelings, connection, and partnership you crave.
• Develop actionable goals to guide your dating journey and attract a secure, marriage-ready man who adores you.
• Learn why the old way of manifesting your partner, making list of their attributes and traits…. do not work.

Stop “protecting” yourself from the wrong men and start attracting the right men. 

I’m sharing one of my most transformative concepts called The Perfect Partnership Playbook, straight out of my signature coaching program Segura. It’s THE RIGHT WAY to create your relationship goals. You’re not writing a list of what you want in a partner and then “becoming that.” That advice doesn’t work. 

Come learn exactly what’s helping my clients attract great men, have so much fun dating (when before they dreaded it) and finally truly know and believe that your man is coming. Come co-create  the relationship of your dreams.  

In this live class you’ll walk away with:

• A clear understanding of your 2024 dating habits and how to improve them.  
   
• The BEST tools to shift your mindset and actions to align with your dream relationship.  
   
• A renewed sense of confidence and excitement for your 2025 love life.

You are in complete control of the type of man you attract, how he treats you and how you feel in your relationship. 

Make 2025 the year you create your dream relationship, First name / friend. 

Join me for only $27 on this transformational live workshop. 

Click below to join me next Sunday evening!

See you there!

You’ve been told: “Pull away, play hard to get, make him miss you, and he’ll fall in love with you.”

But here’s the truth: trying to make him miss you rarely works the way you want it to. 

Why? Because a man only misses what he genuinely likes or wants.

This advice, though popular, can lead you to focus on superficial tactics—such as withholding attention, creating unhealthy push-pull dynamics and trying to control his emotions —that don’t create the kind of connection a man longs for. Instead of forcing him to miss you, the real secret is focusing on who you are when you’re with him and how he feels in your presence.

Why “Make Him Miss You” Doesn’t Work

For a man to truly miss you, there must be a foundation of admiration, respect, and connection. Simply stepping back or disappearing doesn’t guarantee that he’ll suddenly start yearning for you. If your interactions don’t bring value to his life, he might feel indifferent to your absence rather than longing for your return.

Here’s why:  

1. Men Miss Quality, Not Quantity  

   A man doesn’t miss just any woman; he misses a woman who makes him feel good when he’s with her. If your connection doesn’t evoke positive emotions—such as feeling admired, needed, and respected—he won’t be thinking about you when you’re not around.

2. Missing Is About Emotional Impact  

   What a man misses isn’t your presence alone; it’s how your presence made him feel. Did he feel confident, successful, respected, and appreciated when he was with you? Or did he feel criticized, undervalued, or pressured? If it’s the latter, he’s unlikely to miss you, no matter how much distance you create.

3. Manipulative Tactics Backfire  

   Trying to manipulate someone into missing you by creating artificial scarcity often comes across as inauthentic. Men are more drawn to women who confidently create meaningful connections than to those who play games.

What Actually Makes a Man Miss You?

If you want a man to think about you when you’re not around, the key isn’t about making him miss you—it’s about giving him a reason to. When you focus on creating quality experiences during your time together, you naturally leave a lasting impression. Here’s how:

1. Make Him Feel Respected  

   Respect is at the core of what every man desires. When he feels you genuinely respect him for who he is—his decisions, values, and efforts—it builds a deep emotional connection. A man will miss a woman who makes him feel valued and respected.

2. Show Him He’s Needed  

   Men thrive when they feel needed in a relationship. This doesn’t mean pretending to be helpless; it means appreciating his contributions, whether it’s his advice, effort, or support. When a man feels like he has a role in your life, he’ll naturally want to be around you more.

3. Admire Him Authentically  

   Every man wants to feel like a hero in his partner’s eyes. Express genuine admiration for his qualities, achievements, or character. When a man feels admired, it boosts his confidence and makes him associate those feelings with you.

4. Create Meaningful Moments  

   Focus on the quality of your interactions. Whether it’s a thoughtful conversation, shared laughter, or simply enjoying each other’s company, these moments create positive emotional associations that make him want more.

The Shift: From “Make Him Miss You” to “Make Him Want You”

The ultimate goal isn’t to make him miss you out of absence; it’s to make him crave your presence. A man is drawn to a woman who brings out the best in him—who challenges him to grow, inspires him, and creates an environment where he feels respected and appreciated.

When you focus on creating these types of experiences, you won’t need to play games or create artificial distance. He will naturally think about you, miss you, and want more of what you bring into his life.  

So, instead of asking, “How can I make him miss me?” ask yourself, “What kind of experience am I creating when we’re together?” That’s the real key to leaving a lasting impression and building a connection that stands the test of time.

With this approach, you’ll no longer be chasing strategies that don’t work. Instead, you’ll be confidently building a foundation of connection, admiration, and respect—qualities that any man would miss deeply. 

RESOURCES 

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship. 

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

Do you ever wonder why you’re not into the men who are genuinely into you? But you’re obsessed with the ones who barely look your way? Ima break. This.  down. 

The men who pursue you? You’re actually your truest self around them. You’re not overthinking or trying to impress. You’re in your spirit—detached from any outcome. And guess what? That’s *super attractive.* They’re drawn to your authenticity, your ease, and your honesty.  

But those men you’re *crazy* attracted to? The ones you desperately want? That’s a different story. Around them, you go into what I call ‘take mode.’ It’s like this primal, ‘Give me that!’ energy. You’re acting out of fear and craving, not confidence. From your flesh.  

And here’s the kicker: when you’re in that space, it feels *intrusive* to men. They pick up on it, even subconsciously, and it gives them the ick. That ‘I gotta have him’ energy? It pushes them away.”  

So here’s the lesson: the men who want you, are responding to the real you—calm, secure, and radiant. The men you chase? You’re leading with neediness, and it’s repelling. The key? Stay in your spirit, not your flesh, and let the right man come to you and respond to him…stop reacting to  

The men who *want you* see the real YOU—the calm, radiant, authentic woman who’s at ease in her spirit. That’s why they’re drawn to you.  

But the men you *chase*? They don’t actually know the real you. Why? Because when you’re in *take mode*—driven by that primal, “I’ve got to have him!” energy—you’re acting out of fear, not confidence. That energy hides your true, magnetic self.  

And here’s the truth: if they *did* see the real you, they *would* like you. They’d be just as drawn to your authentic spirit as the men who pursue you. But when you lead with insecurity, it pushes them away before they even get the chance.  

💡 *Here’s the good news:* You can shift this. 

You can step into your spirit and let all men see the *real* you—the woman who’s confident, secure, and effortlessly magnetic. And when you do? You’ll attract the right man who adores you for who you truly are.  

✨ Want to learn how to unlock this version of yourself and have ALL men drawn to your authentic spirit? Click here to secure your free seat to my new free training: *The Winner Method.* 💕  

This proven method helps you attract a man who *adores you,* matches your effort, and makes you a priority in his life—because he sees your true value. 💫  

If you want to learn how to be the woman who attracts men by being your kind self, click here to save your free seat to my new  free training, The Winner Method, the proven method that helps you attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. (all without being a b!)

Do you think men love women who are difficult or mean? Based on all the dating advice you see online, does it seem like men are more attracted to women that are…the b word? Let me clear this up once and for all.

Men don’t love “bitches”—they’re drawn to women with self-respect, who have standards and express them clearly. The confusion lies in the fact that many of you have been told to be nice, don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, or don’t be mean. So when a woman shows she respects herself, says “no” when necessary, and prioritizes her own well-being, the world wants to call her a b word. 

Let’s be honest, society has deemed a woman saying what she wants, going after it and doing what it takes to get it, as “being a B” (um Martha Stewart documentary anyone?) I love her by the way. 

That’s not bitchy. To men, it actually communicates authenticity, strength and honesty — and THATS what he thinks is hot.

Drop the idea that you have to be mean to be respected. You attract the right man by being kind, clear, and confident.

Men don’t love it when you’re mean. Don’t believe me? Try it. See what it gets you. Not much sweetie. ⁣
⁣
In fact, it’s quite the opposite. A man is a hunter/warrior at his core. ⁣
⁣
He feels like he’s at war all day when he’s working. So when he comes home to his woman, he wants it to be his peaceful place. ⁣
⁣
He’s just gonna defend himself against you instead of doing what he really wants which love, protect and provide for you. ⁣
⁣
But because men are single-focused, he can’t do both defend himself and defend you. ⁣
⁣
Instead, his primal survival drive kicks in and he’s gotta protect himself FROM you. 🙈⁣
⁣
So many women I talk to interpret being bitchy or unattainable as being the key to his heart and devotion. ⁣
⁣Nope. ⁣
⁣
What he likes is the self respect, honesty and courage that are implied WHEN you’re being mean. ⁣
⁣
There’s a sexier and more attractive way to be authentic and share what you want and need from him, that when you do it, he feels even MORE attracted to you, falls deeper in love and makes him KNOW you’re the one for him. ⁣
⁣
And you get to treat him exactly how you WANT to treat him, with love and respect. It’s a win-win.

RESOURCES

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship. 

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

I used to think men would want to be with me or fall in love with me if …I was beautiful, successful, super easygoing, super nice or giving.

So I believed I had to show him what I have to offer or what I can do for him.

When I liked a guy, I would make it clear that I was interested in him.

So I would text him, call him, ask him out on dates so he would know I liked him. I thought this made his dating life easier for him. Look at me being all helpful. You know, I justified it by thinking “I don’t play games. I’m just making it clear that I’m interested so he won’t have to overthink, question it or worry.” 

Look at me, being all helpful.

I wanted him to know that being with me would mean LESS WORK for him. 

I wanted him to see that I could pull my own weight. That I had a lot to offer. That I would make his life better. Again, that his life would be easier with me in it. That I would bring value to him. So he would see me as an asset to his life and not a liability.

So on dates and in conversations with him…I made sure to talk about how I loved my exciting career and all the money it earned me. I explained how it afforded me the ability to have my own home in a gated community, a nice car, and the luxuries I bought myself.

But instead of inspiring him, I noticed something strange: 

– He became less motivated to see me or text me.

– He stopped leading or putting in effort.

– He seemed turned off, withdrawn, or not interested in me anymore.

I was so confused. I thought men wanted feminine, yet strong, ambitious and independent women?

I thought these actions and traits were helpful:

– Caring for him = showing love.

– Taking charge = making things easier for him.

– Being easygoing = keeping the peace.

What I didn’t know was, in reality…. I was:

– Taking away his opportunities to give and lead.

– Lowering my standards, which made him feel unchallenged.

– Hiding my needs, which made him feel disconnected.

Here’s what I didn’t know: 

– Men want to feel like capable and strong to show up as their best.

– They thrive when they feel trusted, respected, and challenged—not taken care of.

– When you do too much for a man, it unintentionally robs him of the chance to win with you.

When a man feels like a winner, he:

– Pursues you with purpose.

– Steps into his masculine role of leading and providing.

– Feels deeply connected and invested in the relationship.

– Goes out of his way to meet your standards.

When I stopped trying to do it all and embraced what I now call, The Winner Method, everything changed:

– I communicated my standards and gave him space to rise to them.

– I focused on receiving instead of overgiving.

– I trusted him to lead, and he did.

This shift made all the difference—not just for me, but for him too.

This is NOT about changing who you are.

It’s not about NOT WORKING, making less money, being a stay at home wifey, having sex all the time, or being a doormat or little miss perfect. This is about shifting how you’re showing up with him so he wins AND you win.

Want to unlock the secret to bringing out the winner in him so he feels like a champion, pursues you like the prize ? 💪

Click HERE to listen to this week’s Blooming Podcast episode titled, “I Used to Bring Out the Worst in Men…Now I Bring Out the Winner in Them”

 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

If you’re ready to be with a man that has you on his mind all day, is counting down the days till your next date and is EXCITED to commit, this episode is for you.

Have you ever felt like you’re doing all the emotional heavy lifting in the relationship? Do relationships feel more like work than play? You know, he’s on your mind all day but it’s because you’re not sure if he likes you or what his intentions are and you find yourself wondering if he feels the way you do and it’s more of an anxious over-thinking. You’re always waiting for the next time he reaches out because his current rate of connecting never really feels like enough. You feel like you have to hold back on expressing how you really feel about him whether it’s with a fun text message to tell him he’s on your mind or with a fun date idea, for fear of looking too needy and fearing pushing him away. Or do you feel like you’re almost trying to prove that you’re the best woman for him by changing who you are, being over accommodating or overlooking red flags? Then this episode is for you.  

I break down the difference between “selling yourself” and “helping him buy.” You’ll learn how to stop over-functioning, release control, and embrace pacing and proximity to foster mutual respect, trust, and attraction.  

If you’re tired of chasing and ready to have a man who can’t wait to commit to, then this week’s Blooming Podcast episode is for you.  Click below to listen now.

 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

– Why “selling yourself” to a man backfires and makes him question your value.  

– How to help a man buy by guiding him to naturally recognize your worth.  

– The role of pace, proximity, and liberty in creating a healthy relationship dynamic.  

– Common mistakes women make in dating, like doing all the work or over-proving themselves.  

– Practical strategies to shift from “proving your worth” to inspiring him to step up.  

 Key Takeaways:

1. Decisions Are Emotional: Men need to feel like they’re choosing you on their own terms, not being pressured into a relationship.  

2. Pace & Proximity Matter: Slow down, maintain a healthy distance, and let him experience your value without rushing or overwhelming him.  

3. Love & Liberty: Show care and affection, but give him the freedom to decide.  

4. Let Him Test Drive: Just like a great car salesperson, let him experience the benefits of being with you without feeling forced to commit. No this does not mean give him your body. It means spend short amounts of time with him and allow him to feel what it’s like to be with you. 

 Reflective Questions for YOU:

– Am I trying to control the outcome of my relationships, or am I allowing him to step up and choose?  

– Do my actions show confidence in my value, or do they convey insecurity?  

– How can I shift my energy from “selling” to guiding and inspiring?  

Journaling Prompts:

     – “What would change if I stopped selling myself?”

     – “How can I trust the process and let him buy?”

 Action Steps:

1. Reflect on your dating behaviors—are you doing all the work?  

2. Practice pacing by letting interactions unfold naturally without rushing.  

3. Focus on your own happiness and fulfillment to project confidence and self-assuredness.  

4. Start observing how men respond when you allow space and liberty in the relationship dynamic.  

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Timothy Jennings book – Could It Be That Simple?

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

CONNECT WITH ME:

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Website  

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Are you showing him how much you’re into him because you’re “so tired of playing games?”

That’s actually why he’s pulling away.

Allow me to break it down. 

You like him, so you:  

– Initiate contact.  

– Always say “yes” to plans.  

– Compliment him often.  

– Make it clear how amazing he is.  

You’re trying to make it easy for him to know where you stand.  Makes sense.

You think: 

– Men like it when women show interest.  

– He’ll appreciate how easy you make it.  

– If he knows you’re all in, he’ll want you more.  

But the truth is…  

Men fall in love through giving their effort. When you tell him or show him you like him, you remove the challenge, it:

– Feels too easy.

– Makes him question your value.

– Leaves him feeling inadequate, lazy, or unmotivated.

What actually happens.

Instead of drawing him closer, your effort backfires:

– He pulls away.

– He loses interest.

– He stops pursuing.

Why? Because “easy” makes him feel like a failure.

I know. Just keep reading.

Notice that what you’re doing is you’re trying to show up the way YOU like a man to show up for you.

Telling you he wants you. Showing you he’s interested.

Making your life easier.

But men are totally different than you and they don’t like easy, blatant and obvious.

Men fall in love completely different than women.

He wants to be in environments that make him think, challenge him, require hard work that make him feel powerful and successful.

Things that make him feel like he’s scoring points. Winning.

He does NOT want to be in spaces or around people who bring out the lazy, restless or unmotivated parts of him.

He thrives and becomes the best version of himself where he’s expected to dig deep, feel healthy stress and be resourceful. He wants to earn his keep. Not be mothered. This makes him feel like a little boy and not the man he is.

The solution? Stop chasing him and start chasing your dreams.

– Let him pursue you.

– Set high standards.

– Allow him to work for your time and attention.

Men value what they earn. He devalues what’s easy to get. No he won’t get frustrated. Well, yes. But in the best way. 

When you step back and let him lead:

– He feels powerful and successful.

– He’s more attracted to you.

– He becomes invested and committed.

You become a source of his success versus the reason he’s failing. Let him show you he’s worthy of you. It’s a win-win. 

Here’s something *most women* don’t realize:  

Men are wired to *chase, conquer,* and *earn.* It’s not just about relationships – it’s in their DNA.  

Think about it:  

– Why do men love sports? 🏀 The thrill of competition. The satisfaction of victory.  

– Why are war movies their go-to? 🎥 The challenge of overcoming impossible odds.  

– Why do they spend hours on video games? 🎮 To fight battles, solve puzzles, and level up.  

It’s all about *effort and reward.*  

No, they’re not lazy, selfish, or little boys who won’t grow up. Men thrive on challenge and effort – that’s what makes them step up and *show up* as the masculine, committed partners you deserve.

When you make things too easy for him, he misses out on the *thrill* that makes him feel alive, powerful, and capable. Instead of feeling like a winner, he feels… inadequate. Like something’s missing.  

But let me be clear: This isn’t about *playing hard to get.* It’s about understanding what men need to feel good about themselves in a relationship.  

Men need *wins.* They need to feel like they’ve earned your time, attention, and heart.   

When you let him chase you, pursue you, *work* for you:  

– He feels successful.  

– He values *you* more.  

– He becomes invested and connected in ways he wouldn’t if everything was handed to him.  

That’s the magic of letting him pursue you and having high standards. He NEEDS them to feel like the strong man he is.  

So stop chasing. Let him lead. Let him show you he’s the kind of man who can win your heart. 💖  

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

Listen and follow me on the Blooming Podcast HERE.

Subscribe to the Marriage Material Newsletter HERE. Join thousands of women and forever break free from the patterns that hold you back in relationships, create the secure foundation needed to attract a confident, masculine partner.  Weekly tips, tools and education straight to your inbox.  

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

What started off as thrilling and full of promise quickly fades. The texts become less frequent, the calls stop coming, and the effort he once put in disappears. 

You’re left questioning yourself, replaying every moment, and wondering if you did something wrong—or if you’ll ever find someone who stays. ⁣

⁣It feels like a pattern: the spark ignites, but just as you start to feel hopeful, he pulls back, leaving you in a constant state of confusion, doubt, and frustration. ⁣

⁣You’re tired of the emotional rollercoaster—of men who seem perfect at first, only to retreat the moment things get serious. ⁣

⁣You want to feel pursued, cherished, and secure—but instead, you’re left overthinking and trying to figure out why the connection fizzles when it started so strong.⁣

⁣What I hear from all my single successful female clients is when this happens, they tend to go into “prove your worth” mode. 🙈⁣

⁣You feel the need to over perform—showing him how amazing, successful, or accommodating you are—hoping he’ll finally see your value. ⁣

⁣But instead of inspiring admiration, this pushes him away, leaving you questioning if you’re ever “enough.” ⁣

⁣But what if I told you that he’s simply responding to you—not the real, confident, secure you, but the version of you that unintentionally and subconsciously makes him feel like he should pull away. ⁣

⁣He can’t put his finger on it either. It’s not a clear and conscious knowing. ⁣

⁣Something just feels off between you two and when a man feels confused, he won’t move forward. ⁣

⁣He loses interest and stops dead in his tracks. ⁣

⁣This version of you causes him to compete with you instead of cherish you. ⁣

⁣Men chase and choose the woman that lets him “win.”🥇 🏆 😍🏃🏻‍♂️

If he’s not asking to see you, initiating communication or asking you to commit, it’s probably because of this…

He views you as a competitor versus a potential companion.

Men don’t fall in love with a woman because she earns a lot of money, has graduate degrees or owns her own home.

Leading with your accomplishments can make him see you as a competitor rather than a companion because….

Men find purpose in providing and protecting, and when they feel they can’t add value or contribute, it triggers a sense of inadequacy. Instead of fostering connection, it creates an unconscious dynamic of rivalry, which undermines the natural balance of the relationship.

Men at their core, at the heart of them, see themselves as providers.

He feels his best when he feels purposeful, needed and appreciated.  Being able to provide for a woman reinforces that self concept of “provider.”

But most women unknowingly block his pursuit by:

–  Trying to prove your worth through accomplishments.

– Over-giving, over-controlling, or over-performing.

– Taking away his opportunity to provide.

This doesn’t mean you should quit your job or should be unintelligent.

It simply means not to lead with it, talk about it constantly, or flaunt it by trying to pay for meals or planning dates.

Trust me, if he’s out with you, it’s because he KNOWS you’re a catch.

Stop competing and start connecting.

Instead, focus on showcasing who you are, not what you do. 

Share your dreams, values, and the kind of relationship you desire—things that invite him to step into his masculine role and show up for you. Let him see how he can contribute to your happiness and growth, which makes him feel purposeful and appreciated. This dynamic fosters connection and positions you as his companion, not his competitor.

Men and women have different motivations for taking action.

When it comes to him continuing to pursue you, consistently connecting and desire to make it official, he’s motivated to spend his energy in places where he feels purposeful and one of the ways he does that is by giving.

Understanding how men think, feel and their motivations to act are essential to getting the relationship of your dreams. 

Remember, there are two people involved and for it to thrive and last, both must get what they need from the relationship. 

It’s no different than an employer and an employee. They need these duties completed and you want a nice big paycheck every two weeks. It’s gotta be a win/win for both people to stay and continue showing up and giving their best.  ⁣

⁣He wants to experience this part of you. The part that knows her worth and lets him give in abundance.  It makes him feel like you trust him to do for you and he feels like a real WINNER. He wants to win your heart and when you let him give to your provide things for you, it strengthens his inner sense of self. ⁣

⁣Men chase and choose the woman that lets him “win.”🥇 🏆 😍🏃🏻‍♂️

Click here to see the post on Instagram.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

Listen and follow the Blooming Podcast HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

One of the biggest reasons dating can make you anxious is because you’re way too focused on his thoughts and not your own.

You’re qualifying him for the most highly coveted position in your life: your partner.

Start acting like it and pay attention.

While you’re busy wondering if he likes your dress or thinks you’re pretty, he’s studying you closely to decide if he’s asking you out for date numero dos.

Men are logical, simple, and linear. If he likes how he feels with you tonight, he’s not saying goodbye without booking the next date. You need to do the same.

Dating is data-ing.

Collect it all and review it later like it’s your JOB.

Stay present, aware and sober. Of course you can have fun but you should also have facts about him that help you know if he’s getting a kiss or a “no” to his request for the next date.

So get out of your head and into your body.

Your gut will always tell you the truth and warn you if there are red flags. Your feelings are important too. Notice how you feel around him. Keep good eye contact, listen to what he says and watch what he does. Is he kind to the server, drink too much or have a great work story you can connect over?

Need help staying focused on him and not your personal dating narration in your mind?

The moment you feel yourself drifting into overthinking, touch your glass of wine, name the color of his shirt or adjust the napkin on your lap. These will ground you and refocus your attention on the present moment.

You’re not there to impress him.

Your job is simply to be yourself and allow him to be himself. This is the only way you learn the truth about each other and be able to make an educated decision whether he’s someone you’d like to continue to invest your time with.

It can feel flattering and affirming to be liked by a man. ⁣
⁣
It can also be exciting to date a man that you like, are attracted to and has a lot of the qualities you’re looking for in a partner. ⁣
⁣
But often times this can cause you to go into this “convincing” energy. It can come off as “pick me” energy, this “please choose me” feeling and it’s hurting, not helping you. ⁣
⁣
When you’re focused on what he thinks about you, it can cause you to feel nervous, extra flirty, too talkative or not talking enough. ⁣
⁣
It can cause him to pull back because he feels your low-key desperation. ⁣
⁣
You must remember that dating is data-ing. ⁣
⁣
You are collecting information about him so you can decide if he’s someone you’d like to continue getting to know and have in your life. ⁣
⁣
He’s not your husband. This isn’t love at first sight. You don’t have to make a final decision tonight. ⁣
⁣
But if you believe this is your only chance at love or he’s the best you’re gonna get, you will put way too much pressure on him and this opportunity. ⁣
⁣
It’s like being broke, needing a job and after months of no responses you finally go on an interview at a company.⁣
⁣
But just because you need the money, doesn’t mean this company is the right fit for you. ⁣
⁣
What if this business wants you to do duties that you have absolutely no skill level for, are completely immoral and dangerous to your life?⁣
⁣
You’ll probably turn it down. ⁣
⁣
But because you’re so focused on your lack of money, you neglect to consider everything the job entails that in the long run can really hurt you. ⁣
⁣
In the beginning, you must get to know him, who he is and what him being in your life will mean FOR YOU. ⁣
⁣
You are choosing a man that will fill the role of one of the most important people in your life: your life partner. ⁣
⁣
Realize that the same way you were picky about choosing a career for the hours, place and salary, you need to be just as focused on who he is and what YOU want in a relationship. ⁣

If this feels difficult to do, you may find it hard to practice detachment in dating. What’s detachment? I’m gonna give you all the details tomorrow on the Blooming Podcast so make sure you don’t miss it!

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

LET’S CONNECT

Go beyond small talk and create a connection that peaks his interest and keeps him thinking of you. Click here to download my free guide 100 Irresistible Questions to Spark His Curiosity & Keep Him Hooked.

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

The magic of being with a secure, masculine man? It’s life-changing. Here’s why:

1. **Emotional Safety** 🤍 – He creates a safe space for you to be vulnerable, open, and 100% yourself, knowing you’ll be met with understanding, not judgment.

2. **Consistent Support** 🤝 – He stands by you through thick and thin, boosting your confidence and encouraging you to chase your dreams.

3. **Clear Communication** 💬 – No guessing games here. He values honest, direct communication, helping you resolve conflicts and stay connected.

4. **Growth-Oriented** 🌱 – He’s committed to his own growth and supports yours too, creating a dynamic where you both thrive together.

5. **Strength and Leadership** 💪 – In tough times, he’s the calm in the storm. His strength gives you a sense of security and peace, letting you fully relax in his presence.

6. **Deep Presence** ❤️ – He’s all in, fully present with you, creating a deep, authentic connection that keeps the love alive.

7. **Trustworthy and Loyal** 🔒 – His integrity is unmatched. You feel safe in his loyalty, knowing he’s truly committed to you.

8. **Embraces Femininity** 🌸 – He values and nurtures your feminine energy, allowing you to feel soft, strong, and grounded.

9. **Respects Your Independence** 🚀 – He encourages your independence and passions, knowing that a secure bond allows for both intimacy and freedom.

10. **Genuine Attraction** ✨ – His security and authenticity make him incredibly attractive, building lasting admiration and desire.

Being with a secure, masculine man isn’t just about romance; it’s about creating a partnership where you feel valued, seen, and completely at ease. 🌹💫

Save this post to remind yourself of what’s possible when you choose wisely.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

Ready to take that first step toward secure attachment? CLICK HERE and I’ll send you my new free guide, What’s Your Attachment Style? to help you uncover your unique attachment style and begin your journey to a secure, fulfilling relationship.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Building a relationship that feels strong, steady, and full of trust starts with YOU. When you’re securely attached, you don’t have to pretend, chase, or play games. You know your worth, stay true to your standards, and enjoy the journey of connection at a natural pace.

Here are 12 habits that securely attached women naturally and effortlessly have.

1.Maintains High Standards 

A securely attached woman doesn’t settle. Her standards come from a deep sense of self-worth and knowing she deserves a relationship that aligns with her values and vision for the future. This clarity attracts a man who’s ready to meet her where she is.

2.Values Her Own Time and Space

She enjoys her life fully and doesn’t need a man to complete her. Her time is valuable, and she knows that allowing space creates a natural rhythm for true connection to unfold without feeling rushed or pressured.

3.Willing to Walk Away 

Secure attachment means she values herself enough to let go of any relationship that doesn’t serve her. She’s confident in her ability to move on, trusting that the right man will honor her standards and commitment.

4.Give Selective Attention

Rather than offering her attention freely, she’s intentional about where she invests her energy. A man must show genuine interest and effort to earn her focus, creating a healthy dynamic where her presence is appreciated.

5.Shares Private Information Wisely 

She respects her own boundaries and understands that deep connection builds over time. By being selective in sharing personal details, she builds trust gradually, letting the relationship unfold at a healthy pace.

6.Mirrors His Effort

Securely attached women understand the balance of effort in relationships. If he’s initiating and showing up, she’ll do the same. This mutual exchange of energy creates a sense of equality and reciprocity in their dynamic.

7.Expresses Passion for Her Own Interest 

Her life is full and satisfying on its own, and she’s passionate about her interests and goals. This self-fulfillment makes her irresistible, as a secure man will admire her independence and sense of purpose.

8.Keeps Physical Distance

She values emotional and physical boundaries. By maintaining physical distance early on, she builds a foundation of respect, connection, and genuine interest, which deepens attraction over time.

9.Sets Boundaries with a Smile

Boundaries aren’t barriers; they’re her way of honoring her needs and values. She’s kind but firm, and she communicates her boundaries in a way that shows self-respect, inspiring him to do the same.

10.Comfortable with Silence

Securely attached women don’t need constant validation or reassurance. Silence isn’t uncomfortable for her; it’s simply part of her self-assured presence. This comfort allows space for genuine connection to grow.

11.Exudes Feminine Energy  

She embraces her natural feminine energy, radiating warmth, openness, and joy. This energy is magnetic, inviting a masculine man to pursue her in a way that feels exciting and authentic.

12. Unpredictable 

Because she doesn’t conform or pretend, she remains refreshingly unpredictable. Her secure attachment means she’s true to herself, which keeps him intrigued, as he can’t predict her every move or reaction.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Have you ever found yourself *all in* one day, only to feel totally “over it” the next? It’s that dreaded “ick” that can show up just as you start connecting with someone, and it’s leaving you wondering, *“Will I ever feel that strong, secure love I crave?”*

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. This “push-pull” cycle is a common struggle for women with disorganized attachment. At its core, it’s a response driven by the fear of vulnerability—wanting connection one minute, but pulling back the next to protect yourself from potential pain.

But here’s the thing: this pattern, while it may feel safe in the moment, is actually keeping you from what you truly want. It leads to emotional confusion, distances you from meaningful relationships, and often keeps you single or settling for less than what you deserve.

In fact, here’s a breakdown of why it happens and what it’s really doing to your love life:

Why Do You Get The Ick? What’s Up with the Emotional Whiplash? 

With disorganized attachment, your subconscious swings between a craving for closeness and the fear of getting too close. This “ick” response becomes a way of controlling your feelings, protecting your heart—but at a cost.

The Secret Goal Behind Getting “The Ick”  

By staying in this cycle, you’re subconsciously trying to avoid getting too attached or risking rejection. It’s a way to create emotional safety, but it’s not actually working.

When “Protecting Yourself” Backfires 

Instead of protecting you, this cycle leads to emotional confusion, creating distance rather than intimacy and leaving you feeling even less connected to him.

How This ‘Push-Pull’ Keeps Him at a Distance   

When he senses this unpredictability, he may start to feel pushed away, never truly opening up or investing in a future together. This tension keeps him from engaging in the way you desire.

Feeling Stuck on the Dating Rollercoaster? 

It’s exhausting to go back and forth, feeling interested one day and “off” the next. This leaves you feeling alone, disappointed, and as if lasting love is out of reach.

Trying to Keep Your Heart Safe? Totally Get It. 

It’s only natural to want to feel secure. When you have disorganized attachment, the “ick” feels like the best way to protect yourself, even though it’s not working.

Why It’s Keeping You Single 

This push-pull pattern reinforces insecure attachment, preventing you from experiencing a stable, secure relationship. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps you single or settling for situations that don’t fulfill you.

Want off the disorganized roller coaster? Here’s How Secure Women Do It

Imagine dating with the calm confidence of a secure woman. Instead of letting “the ick” derail her, she gracefully manages her emotions, fully aware that no one is perfect. She doesn’t let minor imperfections shake her confidence or connection. This ease lets her enjoy the moment and stay true to herself, naturally attracting a man who values her for who she is.

**The Secret to Breaking the Cycle? Building Secure Attachment aka Transforming Your Core Love Design**  

In my group coaching program, **Segura**, we dive into the transformative journey of rewriting your Core Love Design—the subconscious blueprint that shapes how you show up in love. Through this process, you’ll:

– **Master Detached Dating:** This is the key to attracting a secure, masculine man who sees your worth and invests in you naturally.

– **Practice Conscious Choosing:** You’ll learn to select a partner based on the five C’s: *character, compatibility, connection, consistency,* and *commitment.* These elements guide you to a relationship that fits your future vision, rather than being driven by old family patterns from the past.

Imagine having the freedom to date with ease, confidence, and the calm energy that naturally draws in the right partner. Detached dating isn’t about “playing hard to get”; it’s about standing in your secure femininity and letting love unfold effortlessly.

Feeling torn between wanting closeness and needing distance? That’s the tug of disorganized attachment. 🖤

When you’re unsure why you’re ‘into him’ one day and repelled the next, it could be a symptom of this attachment style. Identifying your attachment style is the very first step to understanding and healing your relationship patterns.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Want his heart? Bring out the WINNER in him. 
Discover the proven process to attract a man that adores you, matches your effort and makes you a priority in his life because he knows your value. Because when he feels like a champion, YOU become the prize he’ll do anything to have. Click here to save your free seat to The WINNER Method Masterclass. 

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free and transform the behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Have you ever found yourself thinking that if you just show him *more* of your love, or go that extra mile to prove you’re the “right” woman for him, he’ll finally want you the way you want him?

This pattern of “over-functioning” and people-pleasing isn’t actually about him—it’s a sign of insecure attachment. When you want a man so deeply, to the point that you bend yourself to fit into what you *think* he needs, it often comes from a deep fear of not being chosen or not feeling “enough” as you are.

Here’s the truth: you can’t get him to want you more simply by wanting him more.

Real connection doesn’t grow from proving yourself or over-giving. Instead, it grows from a foundation of secure attachment, where you’re not acting out of fear of losing him, but rather from a place of inner security. Healing to create secure attachment frees you from the need to over-function or people-please because you no longer feel the pull to prove yourself worthy. When you heal, you naturally attract a man who is just as willing and excited to invest in *you*—without you having to twist yourself to “earn” it.

As you  buildi secure attachment, you’ll see how much simpler and more fulfilling it feels to be in a connection where you’re truly seen and loved for who you are. It’s a journey worth every step, because it leads you to a love that is secure, fulfilling, and truly mutual.

RESOURCES FOR YOU

Ready to take that first step toward secure attachment? CLICK HERE and I’ll send you my new free guide, What’s Your Attachment Style? to help you uncover your unique attachment style and begin your journey to a secure, fulfilling relationship.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free from the insecure attachment patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

 Insecure Attachment Has You Choosing from Your Past, Not Your Future

When you attract and pick men with potential, you’re drawn to who he *could* be, hoping he’ll grow into the partner you need. Instead of choosing a man that has everything you truly desire  (like a physical attraction, genuine connection, shared values and a character you respect and can fully trust) you settle out of familiarity with old attachment patterns.

Secure Attachment Lets You See Reality, Not Potential

If you’re attracting men who don’t fully show up, it’s often a sign of insecure attachment. Picking men “with potential”  often comes from an old family dynamic where you felt you had to compensate for what your caregivers couldn’t provide—whether it was love, attention, nurturing, encouragement, or even a safe, abundant environment.  But building secure attachment frees you to see him as he actually is, helping you choose based on your future relationship goals instead of your past family patterns. 

Rewriting Your “Core Love Design” Helps You Choose with Clarity

With insecure attachment, you might feel compelled to chase, over give, or prove your worth, mirroring that old family pattern. But by building secure attachment you will rewrite your “Core Love Design” and practice secure feminine detachment easily. You’ll finally move from compensation to genuine connection, attracting a man aligned with your true relationship goals.

Secure Detachment Frees You from Needing His Validation

The ability to practice secure feminine detachment is a game changer. It isn’t about indifference—it’s about feeling so secure in yourself that you no longer seek validation from a man or relationship in order to feel whole. When you rewrite these subconscious patterns, you create space for a real connection, free from old insecurities.

Healing Insecure Attachment Breaks the Cycle of Familiar Family Patterns

These old family dynamics are deeply embedded in your subconscious, driving you to pick partners who mirror what you had to make up for in childhood. Rewriting your Core Love Design frees you to choose from a place of wholeness, letting go of the need to ‘fix’ or ‘prove’ in relationships.

RESOURCES FOR YOU

Ready to take that first step toward secure attachment? CLICK HERE and I’ll send you my new free guide, What’s Your Attachment Style? to help you uncover your unique attachment style and begin your journey to a secure, fulfilling relationship.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free from the insecure attachment patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

It’s easy to feel that openness may scare someone off, but is that true?

Vulnerability is strength, not weakness. The right man will value your openness. When you allow yourself to be open and genuine, it invites him to do the same, creating a foundation of trust. Vulnerability is essential for true intimacy—it’s how meaningful connections are formed, where both of you feel seen and accepted.

Why Vulnerability Feels Dangerous: Childhood Rejection At Play

Insecure attachment can make showing vulnerability feel unsafe, leading you to believe it will inevitably push him away.

The Childhood Rejection Wound Creates Insecure Attachment

If early caregivers were unavailable emotionally, vulnerability can feel like it will lead to rejection. When your needs were ignored or dismissed in childhood, you may have internalized that being vulnerable is ‘too much’ or ‘too needy,’ leading you to hold back in relationships. If you were made to feel like your feelings were a burden, it’s natural to associate vulnerability with ‘neediness.’ This can make it difficult to be open with others, even when sharing is essential for deep connection.

Healing Insecure Attachment: Vulnerability as a Strength to Attract Secure Love

Understand that the fear of vulnerability often stems from insecure attachment patterns. Healing this attachment style will empower you to show up authentically without fearing that openness makes you ‘needy.’ Secure men value openness, seeing it as a key to deep connection and bonding. When you feel secure within yourself, being open and vulnerable feels natural and safe, attracting a partner who appreciates and reciprocates your authenticity.

Healing Attachment: The KEY to Embracing Vulnerability

Healing insecure attachment involves working from the inside out. You cannot change subconscious drives with conscious behaviors. I see so many women get told to “be a black cat” or “just know your value”. This feels impossible or unable to maintain. Why? Because your conscious mind is NOT the thing causing you to be avoidant or anxious. These insecure relationship behavior patterns were formed dozens of years ago and they are deep in your subconscious/soul. They can only change when addressed at that deep level.

Root-Level Healing: The Power of Subconscious Change

Your conscious mind and subconscious mind work totally differently and have different “access” points or “keys” if you will. You can only unlock your subconscious and modify its deep beliefs/behaviors with specific corrective experiences that effectively access the emotional wounds that initially created your insecure attachment at childhood. Stop using methods that don’t work and don’t last long term. You must heal the source wound and create a new secure attachment style via your new Core Love Design.

Are you tired of picking men with potential? Ready to transform your unhealthy relationship patterns and rewrite your love blueprint so you can attract secure healthy men?

The first step is to understand which insecure attachment style you have so you can understand how it’s affecting your romantic relationships and know exactly how to heal.

RESOURCES FOR YOU

Ready to take that first step toward secure attachment? CLICK HERE and I’ll send you my new free guide, What’s Your Attachment Style? to help you uncover your unique attachment style and begin your journey to a secure, fulfilling relationship.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free from the insecure attachment patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Listen to this episode on Spotify by clicking HERE. 

When I share this concept with my clients, they’re shocked and how well it works and helps them get the perfect man for them. 

When you think of a romantic relationship, you don’t exactly think of prince charming as a man you longingly respect. 

But this is actually what you need in order to choose the right man for you. 

The man that you want to adore, trust and spend eternity with doesn’t necessarily want or need your love.  

What he desperately wants is your respect.

Respect FEELS like love to him and it drives him crazy in the best kind of way. 

Allow me to explain. 

Respect is actually harder to feel for him, which is a game changer when it comes to connecting with him and eventually falling in love. 

Why? 

Well…if you’ve been a follower of my content, you know that men fall in love differently than women. 

He has a totally different identity and roles in this world. And biologically, his physical needs are totally different than yours. 

HE NEEDS TIME

Men take longer to fall in love with a woman and this is one of the reasons why women are failing at love. 

You don’t. 

Women actually fall in love quite quickly. 

And it’s because of this that makes dating feel hard and uncomfortable. 

Why? Because he’s barely in the “getting to know you” phase and you’ve already pictured your whole life with him and decided he’d be perfect for you. 

You want commitment to ensure he won’t be with anyone else but he’s busy just experiencing tonight’s steak at dinner. 

Men love dating. He loves to spend time with you, go to different places and experience lots of unique and surprising things with you. 

He wants to see you in different outfits, express different emotions and hear you tell him different stories about your life. 

He wants to learn about you and he is PATIENT when it comes to you. 

He wants to make this time last because believe it or not, a man knows that if you’re the one this might be his last time dating.

And he wants to pick right. 

You see, men don’t want to fail at anything. Even love. 

A man with secure attachment wants to get married and stay married. 

He wants to be successful at being a husband and making you happy. 

But first he wants to see if he CAN make you happy. 

The way he learns this is by spending lots of time with you while dating. 

Secure men don’t rush. He uses all the information he has about you and chooses you with his logic and emotions.  

And if you’re anxious, fall too quickly, or don’t know how to date “securely”, you won’t enjoy the dating process. Not only that, if you’re in love with him by the 3rd date, your energy will come through as too forward and into him. 

HE NEEDS MYSTERY

He needs to feel a bit of uncertainty about your feelings for him in order to keep him interested, invested and challenged with you. 

This isn’t playing hard to get. 

This is “I don’t respect you yet.” 

Whattttt? 

Yup. 

Make him earn your respect. 

If THIS is the objective when you’re getting to know him instead of being enamored and all warm and fuzzy, you’ll notice that this feeling takes a bit longer to build inside of you. 

And this keeps him COMPLETELY engaged on YOU. 

TRUST ME. 

Remember, there are other women around him and available to him. He’s a good man and women recognize that. He knows he has options. 

But if you’re the only one not throwing yourself at him, sleeping with him on the first date (a beginners move!) and instead you’re busy with work, unattached to him and unimpressed by his basic must-haves like a career and a clean car….

His eyes will be on you and he’ll work harder to get you. 

But this CANNOT happen if you’re already smitten, enamored and head over heels the morning after. 

Allow your time together to help you decide whether you respect him or not. Take your time. 

It will allow his love to catch up to your respect and you’ll have a relationship that feels heavenly!

It’s equal. Even. And well paced. 

Not only that but his pursuit to earn your respect will only make you feel more loved and adored by him. It will make you feel more secure that he cares about you and wants only you. 

It’s a win win. 

So how do you stop yourself from falling from him so quickly and pushing him away? 

This only happens when you’re securely attached internally. 

Meaning, if your love and attention in your own life doesn’t feel like enough, you’ll desperately believe that you need love from a man and thus your behaviors will be more pushy and controlling. 

This can push him away since he NEEDS time and mystery to pursue you. 

You need to build a secure attachment inside of yourself in order to allow the way men fall in love to occur naturally. 

Time is your best friend in dating. 

Separation is your best friend in dating. 

Receiving is your best friend in dating. 

High standards are your best friend in dating. 

But these are the 3 things that women with insecure attachment cannot manage. 

Waiting freaks you out. 

Being apart freaks you out. 

Not being able to give him things or allow him to plan freaks you out. 

Setting high standards for a man and for yourself feel impossible. 

But they’re what he needs to be attracted to you, connect to you and commit to you willingly and happily. 

And they’re what you need to build a solid foundation in a relationship, feel deeply loved by him and completely trust him when he’s around you or away. 

Internal secure attachment, the feeling and deep knowing that you love and trust yourself is the missing piece to the kind of relationship you dream of. 

And creating internal secure attachment is exactly what SEGURA helps you do. 

In SEGURA, In Segura 1:1 coaching, we take a private and personalized approach to your future relationship success. 

How? 

You see, successful romantic relationships need two healthy people that love themselves and their lives but WANT to spend their life with a great person. 

There are 3 parts to successful love. A healthy woman + a healthy man = a loving and fun relationship.

You

Him

Us

So you need to be a healthy you, pick a healthy man and create a loving and safe “us” aka relationship.

And most women that haven’t succeeded at love are because they have fear, distrust or confusion about one of the three parts: men, self or relationships. 

Fear makes you avoid men.

Distrust makes you stay in full control of them. 

Confusion makes you give up all power and let someone else make decisions for you. 

And sweetie, none of those work in real life and they definitely don’t work in romantic relationships. 

Fear keeps you single or subconsciously choosing emotionally unavailable men that won’t commit to you. 

Distrust makes you stay in control which manifests as you people pleasing, over giving with gifts and sex or trying to totally change him into another man. 

Confusion will make you feel in love one day and break up the next, causing you to look erratic, unstable and 

Our work together helps you uncover all the blocks you have with yourself, him and relationships. 

Because if you don’t love & trust yourself you’ll only choose men with potential because you won’t believe you deserve better. 

If you don’t feel safe or trust a man, you’ll push him away if you manage to attract a good man. 

If you don’t feel safe in a committed relationship, you’ll sabotage it by choosing a man that doesn’t have the skills to have a successful romantic relationship.   

READ THAT A FEW TIMES. This is REALLY important to remember. 

Either one leaves you alone, frustrated and feeling like you’re unlovable and not enough.

In SEGURA we focus on these 3 parts in order to find, understand and remove any all blocks against loving and trusting yourself, men or relationships. 

Awareness of these blocks makes your brain completely let them go on its own. 

It’s like magic. 

You need:

• Security (I love and trust me) (You heal from heartbreak, loss and rejection)
• Femininity & Connection (you have to be able to share your standards and true self, create experiences not ask questions or being in your head or search your way to peace) 
• Consciously Choosing a partner (use logic and emotion) you have to be able to delay gratification)

If you don’t have these, you:

• Settle for men with potential (EU men, cheaters, not a good match, feminine, losers, liars)
• Sabotage the good men (push them away with your insecurity, neediness, control or anger)
• Can’t work through conflict and all long term relationships have it. 

If you’re not confident in yourself, your life feels lonely, you always feel like something is missing and you act needy and desperate when single. 

If you’re not certain about men, who won’t feel comfortable with a man. You will feel insecure energy when dating, in his presence and especially when he’s away. This makes you feel out of control and anxious and can manifest by being controlling. This looks like changing yourself so he likes you or changing him which causes him to pull away as he feels pressured and unaccepted. 

If you’re not safe in relationships, you won’t enjoy the beautiful and fun process of falling in love and you’ll rush the process into commitment and pick a man based on emotions, not data or because you enjoyed time with him and you both pair well. 

Secure attachment is the key and it’s what SEGURA helps you finally have forever. 

It’s a skillset and it can be learned no matter how old you are, what happened in your past or how many failed relationships you’ve had. 

Ready to feel secure when you’re single AND when you’re with him so you can feel patient and confident about how he feels for you?

SEGURA is the program for you.

Segura is for the strong and successful woman that has everything but her love life together.

RESOURCES FOR YOU

Click here to get my free guide Insecure Attachment Explained, where I share all the details about insecure attachment.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free from the insecure attachment patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts by clicking HERE.

Listen to this episode on Spotify by clicking HERE. 

Are you dating a guy you’re pretty sure is not the one?

It’s time to let him go and set you each free!

Why?

This isn’t out of selfishness. Ending a relationship with a man is to lovingly remove a person from your life because they aren’t right for you.

Notice I didn’t say he is a bad person. No. God said all things are GOOD. Including man.

But acknowledging that a man isn’t a good romantic fit for you is simply removing an option so you can see who is the right option.

But if you’re like me, you love people with the heart of Jesus and you want to be kind and wish him well.

I got you, girl.

There’s no need to spread the sinful spirit of rejection and ghost him. You’re a woman of God and you can kindly share the incompatibility you see with love and respect.

On this week’s Blooming Podcast episode, I shared 10 respectful ways to tell him you’re not interested, 6 sneaky reasons you’re staying you may not be aware of and the dangers of dating the wrong guy too long! Click here to listen to the audio podcast on Apple Podcasts.

I also share the 10 different ways to tell him you’re not interested in continuing the relationship.

Want the free download of 10 scripts? CLICK HERE!

It’s so important to end things with love and open yourself up to what God has for you!

1 John 2:9-10 says, “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.” God calls us to love our brothers in Christ and not make them to stumble. When we hold a brother back in a relationship that isn’t meant for him, we can cause him to stumble and not be in God’s will for his life.

It’s important to be honest with ourselves, not follow our flesh and stay in bondage!

Moving forward to what’s meant for you is the best thing you can do!

RESOURCES FOR YOU

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts by clicking HERE.

Listen to this episode on Spotify by clicking HERE. 

Dating can be tricky to navigate when you want to attract a Godly man and you want your love life to honor and glorify God. I know EXACTLY how you feel!

So in this episode I’m sharing the 4 main ways I use the Bible to help me date according to The Word and NOT like the world. Why? So you can attract a Godly man instead of a worldly man.

I share scripture, concepts and tips on the Blooming Podcast so click below to listen now or CLICK HERE to listen on Apple Podcasts.

Click here to listen to the full audio podcast episode on Spotify.

Want to watch the full video of this episode on Youtube, click here to watch it on Youtube. 

The 4 Main Points

1. Slow – Wait for God and go slow to get to know him.

Psalms 27:14 says Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Paul said “love is patient.

2. Space – Space in sharing your body with a man:  Space in responding, space in seeing him, space in sharing your information, space in sharing your affection/feelings for him, space in sharing your body. 

1 Corinthians 6:13-17 says “You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.”

3.Standards – Gods! God’s character Equally yoked. Under God’s authority. In God’s word. Fruit. Character. Leader. Vision. 

4.Spirit (not flesh!) – partner with God! Don’t be led by your flesh or worldly desires like looks, height, money, career, material possessions, status, family.

RESOURCES FOR YOU

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Join the private Segura community HERE. The private community is where we unpack the Segura program, do live Q&A each Thursday at 12 noon PST and I teach the value of singleness, how to achieve joy in singleness and how your faith and God’s Word helps you be the best woman you can be.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts by clicking HERE.

Listen to this episode on Spotify by clicking HERE. 

Why it works, doesn’t make you a mean person and it’s what God wants for you. 

We all know God doesn’t command us to “date” a man. In fact the concept of dating is not biblical. There’s nowhere in scripture that tells us to date a man romantically with the intention of possibly marrying him. Dating is a manmade concept. 

After studying scripture, I truly believe God calls us to approach romantic relationships in a way that honors Him and helps us love others as we love ourselves. Matthew 22:38

If you are a true believer and follower of Christ, you are part of His Kingdom and the kingdom has different “rules.”

You may have heard of that saying, “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” 

Well it’s no different when it comes to relationships. Especially with men. When you’re with the world and act like the world, you’ll get more worldly things. 

And let’s be honest, world men are completely different from men who love and follow God.  

I think back to when I was lukewarm and cared more about earthly things and what others thought of me. I was doing things like drinking alcohol every day, working to make a lot of money and feel “successful” so I could buy lots of clothes, food, and to impress worldly people. 

But God commands us to “not store up treasures on earth, where moth and vermin destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6: 19-21

Jesus explains that where (earth or heaven) you are focused in storing treasure shows your heart posture. 

I want my heart posture (your heart/soul consists of your will/behaviors, thoughts and emotions) to be pure and fully led by the Holy Spirit. And when I’m spirit led, I’m focused on heaven aka His Kingdom. Not on earth. 

Your time on earth is temporary. You want to spend eternity in Heaven with God. You can also experience His Kingdom on earth and you do this by abiding in Him, with him and Him in you. 

My content shares what I believe must be our approach as Godly women in regards to our relationship with a man.

When the Pharisees asked Jesus what the greatest commandment was, “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” – ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22‬:‭37‬- ‭39‬ ‭

Jesus calls us to love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul and your mind FIRST. Then love man only as you love yourself. 

God first, you and man second. 

It’s clear and should be followed. When you seek first His kingdom, He shows you EXACTLY how to love a Godly man so naturally and beautifully. 

To worry about what man thinks is to be idol to darkness and not to the light. Earth vs. Heaven. Man versus God. 

Man includes you. You are a human being and when you are focused on what your flesh desires, you are focused on earthly things. Your flesh is a temple to house the The Holy Spirit. 

When you are focused on loving and therefore obeying God, you are focused on heavenly things. 

God calls us to not be double-minded. He shared that we cannot serve two masters for we will despise one and love the other. We cannot serve God and serve mammon. 

All that said, we must approach our relationships here with Godly and spirit-led intention. 

Stop looking at the plank in your brother’s eye and avoid noticing the dust in yours. There are plenty of great men out there. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting so many of them. 

But they want Godly women. 

You must focus on your own walk with God and trust me, the Godly men show up.

I teach the concept of “date slow & breakup fast” in my program Segura, where I help women stop dating like the world and love according to God’s Word. 

It focuses on 4 main things: Pace, Proximity, Posture and Partnering with God to attract, connect with and choose a Godly man. 

What I mean by dating slow and breaking up fast are a metaphor for how to interact with Godly men and how to flee from worldly or sinful men. 

This isn’t about being fearful or judging men. It’s about having discernment and separating from people and environments that lead you to sin. 

In James 4:7, he shares how you must “submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” 

It’s not enough to focus on God but to flee from sin and stop being in both the world and with God. 

You can’t be both in darkness and in light. And it’s this double-mindedness that makes you feel like nothing is working. You cannot serve two masters, God and mammon. “You will hate one and love the other. You will be devoted to one and despise the other.” – Luke 16:13

In my private community, we focus on following and having full faith in God and learning how doing that first and foremost helps you attract, connect with and choose a Godly man.

If loving God and loving a Godly man are important to you, I invite you to my community and programs. 

RESOURCES FOR YOU

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Join the private Segura community HERE. The is the exclusive community and mentorship program designed to help you to focus on, follow & have full faith in God, receive God’s love & earthly blessings AND how only this gives you emotional freedom and allows you to fully love a Godly man you respect & can fully rely on and receive love from him. Learn more about it HERE.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

You’re strong, independent and you love god. You need a man that matches your spirit.

The ONLY reason you’re not attracting or choosing this strong and righteous man is you want him, but fear him.

Allow me to explain. You’re split. You’re torn. And a confused mind will ALWAYS lean towards safety and comfort. Let’s be honest, you’re used to choosing these guys with “potential.” They’re your comfort zone, they feel safe and that’s who you’re choosing . Why?

Safety for you means knowing what to expect & being in control. And  these guys with “potential”  let you feel in control.

What? How? Remember, when you choose men with potential it’s because you’re betting on who YOU are to make up the difference for who he isn’t. Men with potential match the same dynamic you had as a child where you learned that in order to receive love, you had to work for it. You had to earn it. You had to make up for what mom, dad or your ex didn’t bring to the relationship.

Men with potential feel safe. Secure men feel a bit scary because they bring that masculine energy you want but were never able to depend on in the past.

And because secure men take the lead, are ready for a relationship and want you to trust them and receive their love, they freak you out when you encounter them. Consciously you want him but subconsciously you end up pushing him away. So how do you fix this?

I hate to break it to you girl, but you’re living in your potential too (and you low key know it.)

You attract who you are, not what you want.

You must feel fully secure independent of a man in order to attract a secure man. He wants a secure independent woman. He also wants a secure feminine woman.

A securely attached woman trusts herself to provide a safe and loving life when she’s single.

She’s able to show up for herself consistently in every area of her life: career, financially, spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. She trusts & uses both her masculine leadership and her feminine receiving. She provides and protects herself.  She loves her life and feels really happy and fulfilled in her singleness.

And one of the most important ways she shows up for herself is by choosing a great man.

Secure attachment within yourself is the KEY to attracting and choosing a good man. It’s a form of self love. But if you still believe that the way you’ll be complete or happy is when you finally meet Mr. Right, you’ll actually never attract him. He’s a byproduct of your secure attachment. He’s the result of love, not the creator of it.

Love and trust yourself FIRST and then you’ll attract the man you want.

Jesus taught us the greatest commandment. After he commanded you to “Love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” He next commands you to  “Love your neighbor as yourself.” in Matthew 22:37-39. Many misinterpret this scripture. He calls you to love others as you first love yourself. You must  love God & love yourself before you can even attempt to love others.

A man is not the source of love. God is. You are.

A man is where you go to share that love you have.

Want a beautiful relationship? Learn to love yourself fully first. It’s not an option. It’s the only way. You do this with the skill of secure attachment. 

I teach this beautiful life skill in my coaching program, Segura.

RESOURCES

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Join the private Segura community HERE. The private community is where we unpack the Segura program, do live Q&A each Thursday at 12 noon PST and I teach the value of singleness, how to achieve joy in singleness and how your faith and God’s Word helps you be the best woman you can be.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts by clicking HERE.

Listen to this episode on Spotify by clicking HERE. 

Masculine men are alpha. Nice guys are beta. 

First, please allow me to describe the difference between a nice guy and a man that’s nice. 

Nice guys are pushovers, aren’t confident and are scared to take the lead. 

Men that are nice don’t get taken advantage of, are confident and understand that it’s their duty to lead. 

I’m not just referring to men in a romantic relationship. This is how he shows up in life in general. Work. Play. Family. Friends. And of course in a romantic relationship with a woman 

Beta guys don’t know how to lead, are scared to lead or they lead with control and fear. They think a title or position makes them a leader. 

Alpha men lead with integrity and love. They’re empathetic, compassionate and they lead from a desire to create other leaders. 

Beta guys focus on doing things right. 
Alpha men focus on doing the right thing. 

Beta men want to be loved and desired. 
Alpha men love themselves fully and they find value in being needed for their ability to provide. 

Beta guys will skip steps and rush a process because they’re impatient. 
Alpha men understand good things take time and they have a process. They’re patient. 

Beta guys don’t have a plan. They’re impulsive and say they like structure or details. 
Alpha men have a vision, a plan to get there and they practice self control. 

A secure woman will inherently desire an alpha man because she feels safe with him. His confident nature creates trust in him and she feels secure because she knows what is happening and she knows the details. 

A masculine alpha man conveys strength and trust a woman will follow him. This allows her to easily access and enjoy her feminine side. He reaps all the benefits of the sensual feminine

A beta guy will seem fun at first but quickly prove to feel like a child, someone that she needs to mother or guide. 

This will force a woman to go into her masculine energy and she will subconsciously not feel safe with a bet guy because he doesn’t “know” what he’s doing. It forces a woman to have to think, analyze and figure it out herself. 

Notice if you lean towards a beta or alpha man. It will show you if you have more masculine or feminine energy.

Why is this important? 

The healthy state of a man is him fully in an alpha state. Confident leader. This is him in his masculine energy. He is a loving leader. He can access his emotions and his logic. He easily uses both. 

He loves and leads himself when he’s single and he leads his woman when he’s in a relationship.

The healthy state of a woman is her ability to easily access her feminine energy. Her ability to follow and trust God, the universe and others. 

She loves and leads herself when she is single and she follows her man when she’s in a relationship.

The other dynamic doesn’t work in romantic relationships. ⁣

Relationships are the beautiful yin and yang of the complimentary natures. 

It’s a dance and when you dance together, someone must always lead. Both cannot lead. 

⁣You don’t have to lead and over give with a strong secure alpha man. He wants to do that for you.⁣

⁣But if you don’t trust him to provide and love you, you will not follow him. 

 You’ll keep on with current strategy and it will only push away the good men and attract all the lazy unhealthy guys that love to take take take. ⁣

A secure man wants a secure woman. 

A masculine man wants a feminine woman. 

A feminine woman is naturally attracted to a masculine man. 

Notice if you’re not. 

If masculine energy that leads you and loves you feels uncomfortable or unsafe, then you may have been hurt, betrayed or neglected by masculine energy in the past.  

As a woman, having the desire to lead, work hard and give a lot is typically trauma responses to past pain from masculine energy.  

This is a lot of protective and over-providing behavior that you do in order to stay safe and somewhat independent so you can control the relationship, stay single or maintain a sense of control so you don’t get hurt again. 

This is common but shows you that you’re using old patterns in the present. 

And it’s keeping you from a great romantic relationship because the ones that thrive, feel good and last are relationships with healthy feminine/masculine dynamics. 

In order to have this, you must learn to feel loved and secure when you’re single (access your strong masculine leadership traits) and conversely easily transition to that flexible feminine when you’re in a relationship. 

This means a lot less “doing” with a man. It’s more of a just showing up and being yourself. 

⁣When you finally feel loved and secure simply because you’re you, you will easily be able to attract an amazing man that wants to love you and take care of you even more. ⁣

I help you do this in my new group coaching program, Segura, opening in just a few weeks. 

In Segura, I help you, the strong, independent and smart woman create secure attachment within yourself so you can attract and receive love from a masculine man and finally stop attracting beta men and settling for unhealthy relationship dynamics that have you doing all the work and feeling under-loved. 

RESOURCES

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Join the private Segura community HERE. The private community is where we unpack the Segura program, do live Q&A each Thursday at 12 noon PST and I teach the value of singleness, how to achieve joy in singleness and how your faith and God’s Word helps you be the best woman you can be.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts by clicking HERE.

He’s not gonna like you more because you earn 6-figures, have a Masters or own your own home.

Ladies, secure masculine men that love you and want to take care of you, don’t care what you bring to the table.

Healthy men understand their role as a partner and that’s as a protector and provider. He wants to love you, keep you safe and make you happier. But you won’t be able to enjoy that if you don’t understand your role as the feminine receiver.  Sure, your job is great. But he does NOT use that as a reason to choose you as a mate.

Men fall in love with the woman that makes him feel useful, needed & respected.

And a man feels at his most purposeful when he works hard, gives to you and is truly appreciated for all he does. But how can he give when you’re busy providing everything? He can’t.

A secure feminine woman easily receives and trusts her partner to provide.

But that will feel impossible if you’ve always felt like you need to work hard and give a lot in order to “earn your keep” or be worthy of love and attention. This behavior usually stems from having caregivers that you couldn’t trust to provide love, if parents were abusive, absent or you didn’t feel safe or secure in their ability to be consistent or stable.

When you lead with what you do and all you have, he will see you as a competitor and not as a companion.

A man works hard every single day. He looks at the world as a daily war he has to fight in. He DOES NOT want to be with a woman who doesn’t value all he does or someone who he feels he has to fight at home for the role of provider. He wants a team player that supports him and celebrates his day in the battlefield. 

Trusting yourself fully and feeling loved  in your body will allow you to stop believing that you have to work hard to be worthy of love from a man.

You will finally stop leading with your accomplishments, titles, material possessions, income, beauty, body and sex  in order to be loved and cared for by a great man. You’ll stop sabotaging your love success.

The dynamics you learned by watching your parents in a relationship together, as well as the way you felt as a daughter in terms of trusting your parents to love you and provide for you will heavily influence how you show up in a romantic relationship. 

The dynamics you learned by watching your parents in a relationship together, as well as the way you felt as a daughter in terms of trusting your parents to love you and provide for you will heavily influence how you show up in a romantic relationship.⁣

And when you find a man that promises you the potential of love and security, the little girl in you attaches to him and will do anything to get him to choose you. ⁣

You’ll work hard to win him over by giving him your time, affection, body, money, and the list goes on and on. ⁣

It’s this very “convincing” energy that feels right to you and but off for him. ⁣

A man knows that he’s the one that should win your heart and not the other way around. ⁣

So when you ride in with your degrees and trying to sell him on your life, a secure masculine man quickly gets turned off and uninterested. ⁣

Your intention is so positive but this belief that you have to give in order to be worthy is driven by fear and it’s deeply programmed in your subconscious.  ⁣

This has been your life motto and working hard is what you’re a pro at. ⁣

It also worked really well at helping you survive tough experiences in the past and provide a good life so far. So you held on to this giving and working hard plan. ⁣

If it ain’t broke, why fix it?

Well because this dynamic doesn’t work in romantic relationships. ⁣

You don’t have to lead and over give with a strong, secure man. He wants to do that for you. ⁣

⁣But if you don’t trust him to provide and live for you, you’ll keep on with this strategy and it will only push away the good men and attract all the lazy unhealthy guys that love to take take take. ⁣

When you finally feel loved and secure simply because you’re you, you will easily be able to attract an amazing man that wants to love you and take care of you even more. ⁣

Are you ready to finally experience that true self love, happiness and security you know you need in order to attract a great man and have a relationship that feels good AND lasts?

⁣In my coaching program Segura (which means secure in Spanish) I help single, smart and strong women like you create the secure attachment you need to feel truly confident, comfortable in your own skin and deeply know you’re enough so you can naturally attract a secure masculine man and finally have a relationship that feels good AND lasts. 

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Join the private Segura community HERE. The private community is where we unpack the Segura program, do live Q&A each Thursday at 12 noon PST and I teach the value of singleness, how to achieve joy in singleness and how your faith and God’s Word helps you be the best woman you can be.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts by clicking HERE.

You think that when you marry Mr. Right, then you’ll finally be happy. 

Career, check. Home, check. Money, check. Friends and family, check. 

A good man/relationship is all that’s missing and then life will feel complete.  So it makes sense that you’re always on the lookout for your missing piece because that’s all you need. 

You believe that when you meet “the one” that’s when life will be better or it can finally start. You believe something is missing in your life and have been postponing your happiness until you get a man. 

You’re by definition telling yourself and the world that you’re not happy now and can’t be happy until you meet him.  So life feels blah and you feel unfulfilled. 

And girl….trust me, whether you mean to or not, others (especially men) feel your “unhappy” vibe. 

The truth is, there is no Mr. Right, just a man that’s right for you.

And the right man is attracted to the happiest and most secure version of you. 

You see, a happy woman attracts the right man for her. 

But when you believe that you will only be happy once you have Mr. Right, you by definition, are at a deficit. You’re missing something in your life. There’s a gap. 

This is why relationships don’t work. People go into relationships looking for love. You should not go into a relationship looking for love. 

You should choose a great man because you love yourself independent of him and you want to share all that love with someone else.

“I have so much love to give!” 

But instead you have your hand open expecting him to give to you and you don’t have any love to give.

You’re like a glass, half full of love, happiness and security when you’re single.

And when you pour into him and you’re only half way full, what happens? 

You don’t have anything left. You’ll feel completely empty.

When you’re single and halfway “full”, a  relationship will actually be a source of pain and emptiness for you. Not love. Not happiness.

You’ll feel lonely, unloved and insecure in a relationship. 

Whether he’s there, and especially when he’s gone, you won’t feel good if you don’t already have a full cup independent of him. 

In fact, being with the right man at the wrong time, (when you don’t already feel complete and full independent of him) will actually bring up all your insecurities and you’ll sabotage it by feeling fearful, needy, and deeply insecure.

When you don’t love yourself and feel secure and happy when single, You’ll only push him away with your constant need for affirmation, time and attention to make you feel better. ⁣

⁣You’ll attach to him and won’t want to let go because you actually truly feel empty and lost without him. And for him, this feels like pressure. It doesn’t feel like a natural connection and a choice. You feel needy and clingy.  ⁣

⁣You see, a man doesn’t want a woman that relies on him to be happy, safe or feel loved. ⁣

⁣He wants to love you and make you happier, yes… but he wants you to be happy, loved and fully secure independent of him. ⁣

⁣This is really attractive to him. Your happiness and secure carefree nature is what actually attracts him to you. ⁣

⁣Confidence and joy is HOT to a man. ⁣

⁣So until you’re fully happy, feel complete and secure while single and feel like you’re not missing a thing, that’s when you’ll naturally attract the right man to you and you’ll actually have the traits necessary to create a thriving and lasting relationship. ⁣

⁣Deep self love and feeling secure when you’re single makes you feel great when he’s gone and you’ll feel even better when he’s there. ⁣

⁣And he’ll reap all the benefits of that extra joy you feel which only makes him want to be around you and love you even more! ⁣

⁣It’s a virtuous cycle! ⁣

⁣You have to be able to feel both, happy, loved and secure when you’re single AND when you’re with him. ⁣

⁣Are you ready to finally experience that true self love, happiness and security you know you need in order to attract a great man and have a relationship that feels good AND lasts?

⁣In my coaching program Segura (which means secure in Spanish) I help single, smart and strong women like you create the secure attachment you need to feel truly confident, comfortable in your own skin and deeply know you’re enough so you can naturally attract a secure masculine man and finally have a relationship that feels good AND lasts. 

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Join the private Segura community HERE. The private community is where we unpack the Segura program, do live Q&A each Thursday at 12 noon PST and I teach the value of singleness, how to achieve joy in singleness and how your faith and God’s Word helps you be the best woman you can be and therefore choose the best man for you.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts by clicking HERE.

4 years ago I remember being single and LONELY. I felt so lonely and desperate for connection that I would drink a bottle of Pinot Grigio every single night just to deal with the overwhelming sadness, anxiety and fear I had when work was over and it was only me at home with “no man to love me.” That’s what I would tell myself. ⁣
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Because I felt so desperate for attention from a man, I always text old boyfriends or guys I knew liked me. I practically had them on speed dial. I’d find a reason to reach out and would find a way to get them to ask me out. ⁣
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“Ahh. I’m ok now. Someone wants me. I’m not gonna end up old and alone,” I’d think. ⁣
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I felt like an addict looking for my next hit. ⁣
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I genuinely felt addicted to attention, companionship, anything that made me feel wanted, or seen by a man. ⁣
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I always wanted to be in a relationship or dating someone. And if I wasn’t, those were the nights I’d drink wine to numb myself from the reality of my unlovability and painful fear of being alone. ⁣
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It was a never ending cycle though. ⁣
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I’d be so anxious for the guy that once I reeled him in, I’d turn him off. Or the guy that was into me, I’d eventually always find something wrong with him, breakup and then I was back to square one, crying and drinking. ⁣
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It was so frustrating. I felt like I couldn’t keep a relationship together AND I didn’t know how to be single. What the heck was wrong with me?⁣
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It wasn’t until I understood that I lacked a sense of love and security within myself and that’s why I felt so scared when I was single and always obsessed with finding my next man. ⁣
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My lack of love and personal security always had me searching for love and safety FROM A MAN. This lack made me feel so needy and pushy with men or willing to settle for anyone. ⁣
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But this only hurt me more. Trying to force the process or take whatever a man had was never the answer. It only left me feeling like men didn’t want me with a side of “there are no good men out there.” ⁣
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He wants to love you. ⁣
There isn’t a shortage of great men out there. 

You’re just picking the wrong ones out of internal lack. ⁣

I help women finally choose a great man from a place of feeling fully loved and secure in yourself first. I also teach you how to undo the nasty habit of subconsciously attaching to men.  Instead I teach you how to connect from a place of deep love and security.  And lastly I teach you how to consciously choose a man based on what actually makes relationships thrive AND last. ⁣

⁣Yes, these are all skills. You shouldn’t expect to just be born and know to love and be loved. It’s called the Conscious Choosing Method and you learn this essential and necessary skill set in my new group coaching program Segura. ⁣

⁣You’ll finally have be able to:⁣

⁣Feel confident and happy when dating and meeting men. ⁣

⁣Always know when a man is right or wrong for you. ⁣

⁣Feel comfortable in your own skin with any man. ⁣

⁣Actually LOVE being single and never feel like you “need” a man and instead simply want one. ⁣

⁣Be completely turned off by inconsistent or avoidant behavior in a man and easily walk away from unhealthy or toxic men. ⁣

⁣Raise your relationship and man standards and never feel like you have to compromise your values just to be in a relationship ⁣

Repel the losers, liars and little boys forever. ⁣

⁣Attract and choose a healthy masculine man that you’re attracted to physically AND you respect and can totally rely on. Yes girl, you can have both. ⁣

⁣All while still keeping your independence, great career, amazing income and strong go-getter personality that got you this great life. ⁣

⁣You don’t have to change yourself, settle for less or compromise your deep values in order to fall in love. ⁣

⁣If this is what you want, CLICK HERE to join the waitlist to be notified when I open enrollment for Segura, this month. When you join the list, you’ll get VIP early bird access to join before everyone else, get special early bird pricing and special one-time bonuses. Trust me, they’re crazy good. ⁣

⁣CLICK HERE to join the waitlist and to join Segura when I open spots in just a few weeks. 

One of the biggest reasons dating can make you anxious is because you’re way too focused on his thoughts and not your own.

You’re qualifying him for the most highly coveted position in your life: your partner.

Start acting like it and pay attention.

While you’re busy wondering if he likes your dress or thinks you’re pretty, he’s studying you closely to decide if he’s asking you out for date numero dos.

Men are logical, simple, and linear. If he likes how he feels with you tonight, he’s not saying goodbye without booking the next date. You need to do the same.

Dating is data-ing.

Collect it all and review it later like it’s your JOB.

Stay present, aware and sober. Of course you can have fun but you should also have facts about him that help you know if he’s getting a kiss or a “no” to his request for the next date.

So get out of your head and into your body.

Your gut will always tell you the truth and warn you if there are red flags. Your feelings are important too. Notice how you feel around him. Keep good eye contact, listen to what he says and watch what he does. Is he kind to the server, drink too much or have a great work story you can connect over?

Need help staying focused on him and not your personal dating narration in your mind?

The moment you feel yourself drifting into overthinking, touch your glass of wine, name the color of his shirt or adjust the napkin on your lap. These will ground you and refocus your attention on the present moment.

You’re not there to impress him.

Your job is simply to be yourself and allow him to be himself. This is the only way you learn the truth about each other and be able to make an educated decision whether he’s someone you’d like to continue to invest your time with.

LET’S CONNECT

Want to work with me 1:1? Book a free consult HERE to learn if Segura, my private feminine leadership coaching is right for you.

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

What if I told you that your dating and relationship approach with him has actually been repelling him rather than what you want which is to attract him and bring him closer to you. .

Yeah….you’ve been making him think “she’s totally wrong for me” vibes instead of the holy grail saying….. “she’s the one.” 

I know. So frustrating. But it’s not your fault. You’ve been sold a lie. 

And you’re never gonna guess where you learned this from. 

You’ve picked up bad dating habits from him. 

Yup. You know, the men that made you feel amazing, beautiful, wanted and loved…. they’re the guilty ones. 

You see, the human brain is really smart (well in this case, it does something kind of dumb, but hear me out) 

When you experience something that feels really good and you get that dopamine hit of warm fuzzy goodness in your body, your brain makes a big mental note about what made you feel good. 

Why does it do that? Your brain is a little gooey organ of selfishness and survival. 

It wants to feel good, comfortable and most importantly, alive, all the time. 

So when you have life experiences that give you big dopamine hits because you felt loved, smart, wanted, successful…whatever feel good emotion you like to have….it wants you to continue to do that behavior so it gets that neuro-chemical hit. That feel good emotion. 

So back to the men. 

The times you’ve interacted with a guy you liked, dated or were in a relationship with and he did things that made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, your brain logged those behaviors as a “love to-do list” so to speak. 

For example…you were with Steve and he gave you compliments about your outfit and you felt beautiful.  And this continues with all the things he did to make you feel loved, safe, taken care of. 

Whether it was to pay for dinner at a nice restaurant, drive an hour to take you to see the new Chosen movie, or bring you your favorite flowers on a random Tuesday afternoon. 

Whatever it is, you loved it, your brain remembered it and thus, your masculine dating strategy was born. (Enter wide eye emoji here) 

So now…. you’re single, healed from a breakup or newly divorced and it’s time to interact with new guy George. Your brain thinks, if Steve pursuing me and asking me out felt so great (and it worked) we should use it with Georgey boy here. Plus we really like him and want him to want us back. This will work on him cuz it totally worked on me. Sounds like a plan!

But there’s one small secret your brain doesn’t know and neither do you, until now. 

What works on women in relationships and makes you feel special, loved, cared for and seen by him, DOES NOT work with men.

I know. Thanks for nothing Brainy McBrainerson.

 Not only that. 

Taking the masculine dating approach, you know, the methods he used to get you… and using it on a guy, will actually attract all the wrong types of men and repel the good ones. 

What you think works on him, actually repels him. 

I know. Trust me. I was shocked too. 

I used this strategy my entire life and thought it worked?

I’ve had relationships. I fell in love. 

Oh wait….but they all ended 

In fact….at some point I wondered why I had the worst luck with men. I began believing  something was wrong with me. 

But no. Nothing was wrong with me and Nothing’s wrong with you. You’ve just been using the wrong method to attract a good man. 

It’s like using chocolate to catch a fish and worms to entice a toddler. No one’s biting, you’re wasting a lot of time and energy and you look a little cray. 

You’ve been using a man’s attraction and connection strategy on him and it will NEVER work to “catch” him.

The only thing you’ll get stuck in your net are losers, liars and little boys. 

Yup. When you try to use what works on you, on a guy, it repels loving and loyal masculine men and attracts emotionally unavailable guys. 

It’s crazy. 

So you may be asking yourself….what ARE masculine dating methods?

Pursuing him, initiating contact, making it obvious you’re interested, suggesting you should go out, making date plans, feeding him, complimenting him, doing lots of little nice things for him…sound familiar?

Doing the things that make YOU feel wanted and chosen will actually attract men that are lazy, takers and just there for a good time and a short time….and  for any and all the short time benefits you’re offering. 

These guys are all about low effort, letting you do it all and most oftentimes have no desire at all to be in love or have a committed relationship. 

You know these guys. They left you feeling angry, sad, resentful, not good enough and confused because their actions and words never really matched up. 

They were nice. They came around once in a while. They treated you ok. They do just enough to keep you there. 

And you stayed because he wasn’t mean or flat out disrespectful. 

You guys DID have chemistry, a connection and had a lot of things in common. He had great qualities and would make a great partner if he only committed to you and experienced how amazing of a girlfriend you would be. 

When you DID hang out, you had a great time (when you were actually out with him)

It was just the in-between time that made you feel lonely, insecure and unclear about where you were in terms of a relationship. 

But the lack of clarity and all the confusion didn’t have to do with you or him for that matter. 

You’re a great woman. He knows that. You’re sweet, attentive and have your stuff together. 

But he never got that deep down “knowing” that a man feels when he’s really attracted and connected to a woman. Cuz when a man feels that, he’s pursuing you like crazy. It’s like a switch that turns on in him. 

And I’m gonna tell you why the switch didn’t go on and why he didn’t feel that with you. 

And it had to do with the meeting and dating process he experienced with you early on. 

You see, if you use the male methods of pursuing, making plans, complimenting him, doing nice things, etc.…during the first 3 stages of the relationship…he will treat you like those little boys treat you. 

When you use a male method…..He sees you as a low priority. He isn’t excited to see you, doesn’t text or call you, doesn’t ask to see you, doesn’t make plans with effort and care, doesn’t tell you how he feels, he only sees you when its convenient for him and when it requires the least amount of effort possible. 

He doesn’t treat you with gentleness, care or respect. You’re like one of the guys almost expecting that you can pay or provide for yourself. 

He doesn’t share his goals or intentions with you, mostly because this guy has none. 

Or because he won’t share personal information with you because he knows it will build a connection and he wants to stay surface (just be physical or just be friends.). 

He doesn’t treat you like a woman he can fall in love, be exclusive with or committed to long term. 

You see, a man only sees a woman as a girlfriend, and then marriage material, meaning …. he will only treat you with love, care and be completely devoted and loyal to you …..when a woman uses a feminine attraction method with him. 

The way you like to be treated and how you want to feel with a man is totally different than what a man needs to feel and experience with you in order for him to think of you 24/7, take the lead and court you and fall head over heels in love with you to the point he gives up his freedom to be with other woman and completely commit to only you. 

Let me let you in on a secret: Men are designed differently and have totally different purposes and responsibilities in this world. 

Sure, like you, they have bodies, brains and needs. 

We all need clothes, food and shelter. 

But because healthy and loving men have totally different reasons for waking up each day and due to the responsibilities and needs he has to fulfill daily, the kind of woman he dates and ultimately chooses to be in a long term relationship with is TOTALLY different than the kind of woman losers, liars and little boys pick. 

Immature, selfish, disloyal guys live life completely different from masculine mature men. 

They’re daily goals don’t even compare. 

They’re lifestyles are night and day opposite. 

What they view as “necessities” are so different and thus the way they choose women and who they spend time with are opposite in every way. 

Loving and loyal men that date to have a girlfriend and ultimately make her his wife look for totally different things in the way they date. They don’t just date for fun and sex.  They date for compatibility and qualification. 

They’re looking for qualities that will make a woman a great long term life partner/wife. 

And because women and men have such different roles in this world like mother, wife, and helper versus husband, father and provider … .the way they approach dating and the experiences you each need to have with the opposite gender in order to know whether they can commit to them…. Are totally different. 

Mature and masculine men that love and lead want a feminine woman that wants to be loved and taken care of completely. 

So when it comes to relationships, the things that make you believe a guy is attractive and a good prospect as a romantic partner and then make you fall in love and want to commit to him…..are completely opposite to what a man believes when he knows  he found a good woman and thus makes HIM want to pursue, love and commit to you. 

Let me say it another way: Mature men want a relationship with a feminine woman.

Party boys that are immature, liars, losers and little boys want to be with masculine women. 

Immature guys find masculine women hot because she does all the work. She approaches him, lets him know she likes him and gives him her phone number. . She reaches out to him in the DMs and suggests they should hang out. 

She plans it all. She calls him, texts him, might even pick HIM up on a date. 

Masculine women pay for dinner or go half on everything. Masculine women make it so easy for a guy to be with her. 

Masculine women do all the worrying, stressing, and thinking. He just sits back and shows up when he wants to.  Immature men love masculine energy women with masculine dating methods because it means he just takes and enjoys. Low effort all the way. Exactly how he likes it. 

And let’s face it, none of us want to attract or marry a party boy so listen up. 

Loving and loyal men find different things attractive in a woman and have standards that might surprise you. 

Masculine healthy men date, fall in love and commit totally differently than those other guys.

Good men are attracted to women that are feminine and women that use feminine methods of dating.

He’s obsessed with how he feels when he interacts with a woman that understands him and knows how to connect with him. It’s so refreshing because let’s be honest, most women are using male strategies that repel and frankly confuse good men. 

Healthy men actually want to find Mrs. Right but  he will not settle. 

He knows what he wants in a woman and knows how to treat you. 

He also wants a woman that knows him and how to date and be with him. 

Because when you use the correct way to show up and engage with a man, the feminine way, it makes him feel all the ways he never knew he could feel with you. 

He feels strong, successful, respected, handsome, smart, appreciated, capable, confident, loved, and most importantly, trustworthy. 

When you use feminine attraction methods with him, he begins associating all these feelings with YOU. 

He begins to understand that whenever he’s with you, he’s going to be the best version of himself. 

And when he gets those dopamine hits every time he’s with you, he’ll never want to leave your side. 

He’ll be making plans for date #2 before your first date even ends. 

He becomes the one reaching out to you every morning with sweet texts just to say hi and say he’s thinking about you. His goal is always to make you feel loved and supported. 

He treats you with gentleness and care because he sees you like the previous and beautiful flower you are.

He easily opens up and shares his deeper thoughts, fears and future goals with you. 

He includes you in all his plans and invites you into his personal life like his friendships and family. 

He cares about how you feel and wants to know what you need so he can help you with anything. 

And because you’re a pleasure to be with, he naturally and effortlessly falls in love with you. 

Committing to you and him asking you to stop seeing other men will be HIS decision.  

No more feeling anxious or angry because you  have to initiate  “the talk.”  He’ll feel eager to take you off the market and he’ll feel privileged to call you his girlfriend and post it all over social media. 

The best part of using a feminine dating method with him?

It’s so simple for YOU. 

A feminine approach to attracting a man and dating him actually means doing less. Way less. 

Yes, engaging with a man in a feminine way, drives him crazy in the best sort of way but also only requires you to be yourself and simply enjoy the relationship ride. 

It’s an experience I promise you’ve never had and it gives you the man you’ve always wanted. 

He’s in his masculine and pursuing you and you’re in your feminine receiving the testosterone driven love!

OK , you may be thinking, but I don’t know about these feminine dating methods and I’ve managed to attract and even be in a relationship with a loving and loyal masculine man!

He thought I was attractive. We hooked up.  We dated. He was my boyfriend! What I’m doing now obviously DOES work Anabell.

Ok…but did it last? Are you guys still together? Do you feel loved and rested? At peace when you’re with him and when he’s gone? 

Exactly. 

And listen, if you’re saying yes that that feels like enough. Close this post and do not read any further. 

Cuz this post is for women that want it all and are tired of settling for a man she has to fix, change or do all the work with. 

Using Feminine dating methods help you attract, date, commit to and KEEP a good man. Not just any man. 

Anabell….my methods are working. Guys love me. It’s not hard for me to meet them. The only reason I’m not in a successful relationship is because I just haven’t met the right guy. That’s all. It’s him, not me. 

Very true. You’ve dated a bunch of men that liked you but didn’t want to commit and it’s because you ATTRACTED the wrong men. 

Do you see what’s happening here?

Your masculine energy attracted the wrong ones. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. 

In order to only attract the ones that are ready, loving and loyal to a great woman like you, you need to be using a feminine attraction method.  It repels the guys that just want to have fun with you right now but don’t want to commit to you for later.

So if relationships have felt more like work than play…..if you’re tired of being the main one to put in all the effort to keep the “situationship” alive….

Allow me to introduce, The Feminine Attraction System: The Secret to Attracting a Loving & Loyal Man. ( aka the secret to ending confusing dating dynamics, situationships that feel like another painful job and leave you heartbroken, frustrated and tired. )

It’s the program I wish I had 20 years ago, who am I kidding, 5 years ago, that will FINALLY teach you how to show up with a man so he’s  totally attracted to you, becomes emotionally connected with you,  and all done by a healthy, Loving, loyal and masculine man who wants to get to know you, spend every minute of the day with you, and if everything maps out, hang out forever. 

The Feminine Attraction System that teaches you to date him how he needs to be dated. 

In this program you’ll learn how to show up with him from beginning to end, from meeting, to talking, to dating to a committed relationship. 

You’ll learn the 3 stages he needs to go through to fall in love. I call it the Feminine Love Funnel. 

You’ll learn the experiences he needs to have with you in each of these stages. 

You’ll learn about the feelings he must feel about you so HE will want to ask you out, text you, call you, plan dates, pay, lead, and easily keep coming back week after week. 

This is an education on masculine men and the feminine method to attract, date and connect with them. These men WANT to be in a relationship with a good woman that leads to marriage. 

You’ll know exactly how to show up so he sees you as unique and totally different from other women. His ex? Please. 

Go from “I always push him away” to “he can’t get enough of me”. Every single time. 

You’ll learn what brings him close, makes him go deep and not just stay surface and bond to you so tight that he never wants to leave. 

The Feminine Attraction System is the CORRECT way to attract the RIGHT man. A masculine man that leads, protects and provides. 

You need to have the right formula so you stop wasting your time and energy on the wrong man that makes you feel overworked, under loved and overwhelmed. 

You have enough on your plate. You have a career you excel at and a life you’re proud of. Now let’s get you the man and relationship you deserve so you can finally receive his love, undivided attention and  full commitment.

One that brings you peace and comfort when he’s there and when he’s away. 

Click here to get The Feminine Attraction System now before the fast action price goes up and the bonus is gone.

I’ve coached hundreds of women and everyday I hear you say how much you “just want a good relationship with a good man.” 

You worked hard to have a great career, a home you’re proud of and you got it all based on your ability to overcome a tough past and be a go-getter. A good man would be the cherry on top of your ice cream sundae of a lovely life.

WRONG.

And because you’re used to making things happen with your go-getter attitude and perseverance, you assume that bringing this attitude and work ethic to finding a man is a no-brainer.

You learned that planning, strategy and taking massive action gets you the results you want. And that’s very true when it comes to your career, your body and even your children. A take-charge mindset helped you achieve your goals, provide for you and stay in control in a world that can be very unstable and ever changing. You learned that peace, stability and security are external results you work hard for. Take action, prove your value, you’ll get exactly what you want and need.

But this is NOT actually how life works. It seems that way from the outside but it’s not. And it’s DEFINITELY NOT how men, love and relationships work. Allow me to explain.

You were taught that in order to get a loving relationship, you need to get totally clear on exactly the kind of man you want, focus on him and when you spot him, go after him and make him yours. Simple right? #manifestation

You were taught to make a list of all the things you want in a man. (And trust me, I did the same thing. Ugh. Enter eye rolling emoji here) The relationship books said, “See him in your mind’s eye. What does he look like? Is he tall or short? What kind of job does he have? How does he dress? How much money does he make? What kind of car does he drive? Where does he live? Is he spiritual? Blah blah blah….You get it. Details, details all about him.

And poof, your love-to-do list and your perfect-man stats were created in your subconscious.

The 6-6-6 List

He’s 6 feet tall, makes 6-figures and has a 6-pack.

Props to you if you admit that this guy would be super dreamy. (Ain’t no future in yo frontin’ girl!) Society, Hollywood and social media taught you that THIS MAN will give you want: a committed relationship where you’re loved and cared for.

So what do you do?  Well if you were like me, you keep your eyes peeled  everywhere you go for THIS guy with THESE stats. Because this is what’s gonna make you his wifey and finally get all the loving goodness. Right? Nope. Wrong yet again. This is a recipe for dating disaster.

You were programmed to focus on what a man has and what he can do for you (give you a great relationship that leads to love) and this is ruining your chances at having a wonderful relationship with Mr. Right For You.

Why? Because you’ve been looking at a man as the means to an end. The last puzzle piece to your perfect life. You’ve believed that if he has certain attributes like a great job, income and good looks then he’s gonna be the perfect man to give you a perfect relationship and perfect love. Then you’ll never get hurt and never be alone again. Ahh the sweet smell of certainty and control.

But that’s NOT how love works. It’s not how healthy masculine men work. What I just described is called a transaction.And if you think that’s what true love that lasts entails, you’re sorely mistaken.

It’s no different than if a man wants to feel respect (which IS what he wants) and the way he believes he will have it is if he has a hot successful woman that has sex with him and that he can show off as a status symbol. And let’s be honest, many men do feel this way. They’re so insecure and lack self respect that the way he gains it is by telling himself that if he just has a hot successful woman then he will finally feel respected.

It’s a lie. A manipulation. And when men approach you wanting sex on the first date, you feel it. It’s icky and offensive. Men feel the exact same way when you’re seeing them as a piece to complete your love life puzzle. You look like a predator and he feels like prey. He will run away as quick as he arrived.

The same way you would get offended if a man just used you for sexual pleasure and status to feed his ego and pride, he feels offended when you only see him as a tool to finally feel the security, safety and confidence that a romantic relationship brings.

He feels disrespected right off the bat when he feels your anxious, needy and insecure energy when you talk about dating for marriage on the first few dates or when you want to know “where this is going” and it’s only been a few weeks.

He wants a woman that’s there to get to know him, have fun and see if you’re compatible as friends or for a future romantic relationship. And you should be focused on this too.

The fact that you’re hurried, anxious to impress him and want him to choose you quickly says more about YOU than it does him. A healthy feminine woman is in no rush.

When you’re anxious for love and companionship, you see men, love and relationships as something you need and don’t already have in your life. This creates attachment to anyone you date and you will never attract a healthy masculine man with this energy. He avoids these women.

Dating is for creating connection, not making attachments.

Healthy feminine women already feel love AND they love themselves because they’re living out their purpose through their unique work, contribution and service to the world. They know their worth, understand their value and have created a wonderful life independent of a partner.

Healthy masculine and healthy feminine don’t use partners to feel whole, respected or loved. They already are.

A healthy masculine man wants love and you will never be able to love him and accept him if you don’t love and fully accept yourself first. All the dating strategies in the world won’t fix your lack of self worth, low self value and low standards which is what’s driving your anxious dating.

Love already lives inside of you and you just have to access it. If you don’t feel confident, secure, and super worthy when you’re single or dating, all you have to do is remove all the blocks that are keeping you from feeling loved, confident, secure and very worthy. 

But what I want you to walk away with from this post is this. ⁣
⁣
It’s ok to want a relationship with a man. But when it’s your goal and singular objective, it can a push away the very thing you desire. ⁣
⁣
You need to learn to see men, love and relationships as a living and breathing entity that are totally available to you NOW. ⁣
⁣
They become easy to access when you first feel super secure and worthy in yourself independent of a man. ⁣
⁣
Because it’s that insecurity and lack of love for the life you have now and the person you are now that makes good men stay and bad ones flock to you. ⁣
⁣
And the healthy masculine men aren’t receptive to you because your masculine protective and performing energy isn’t what he wants. HE needs to pursue you in his slow way but you don’t let him. You’re rushed & he knows it. ⁣

You Need 2 Things

1. To know how to attract a healthy masculine man with healthy feminine energy. They date and love TOTALLY different than you expect. Download The Feminine Attraction System HERE so you can stop dating in your masculine and learn exactly how feminine women confidently attract, connect with and choose healthy masculine men.
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2. If it feels hard to be in your feminine energy with him, you have deeper masculine energy that needs removing. Masculine energy looks like pursuing, rushing the dating process, trying to impress him with your success, body or beauty, having sex way too soon in the dating process, settling for men that aren’t treating you with care and love or feeling anxious or really nervous while dating.

I help women in my 1:1 coaching and in my group coaching program to learn how to attract masculine men and how to date them with confidence and so much peace.

If these are things you’re struggling with, I know I can help you. Book a free consult and we can discuss the issues you’re having and how my coaching works to help you master your feminine attraction and help you choose Mr. Right.

In my recent podcast episode, I shared the 4 Mistakes That Are Keeping You Single. In this eye-opening episode of the Blooming Podcast, I delve into the common pitfalls that can hinder strong, successful women in their relationships. Discover how understanding and embracing natural dynamics can lead to more fulfilling and lasting connections.

One of the 4 misconceptions I discussed was this desire that you as a successful woman can feel to lead with your accomplishments, current successes like your income and career title or your education and material things you’ve acquired like a home and car.

You think that if you talk about how much you love your high-paying career, share how much money you make, talk about the house you’re planning to buy or the MBA you earned last year that got you a promotion…he’s going to be attracted to you and choose you out of all the women in the world to be his girlfriend. 

Unfortunately, men don’t operate like that. Well, at least not healthy masculine men. 

When you try to impress him with what you have and what you’ve done in an attempt to make him see you as having higher value against other women, it actually has the opposite effect. 

I know. I was surprised too. 

HE WANTS TO GIVE

You see, confident men that protect and provide for a woman WANT to be the one that earns, pays and gives you many of the things you’ve had to work so hard for. 

Yes. He prides himself in working hard everyday and finds purpose and value in providing for himself, making a difference in this world and serving others. 

Your intentions are so good. I get it. 

You want to share what you’ve done and what you have in hopes that this will make him see you as wife material and a good potential long term partner. 

But this actually has the opposite effect. He instead views you as what I call a “competitor” versus a companion. 

Don’t get me wrong, he loves that you love your life, are educated, make a good income and have nice things. 

But when you try to get him to choose you by putting your accomplishments or material things on display, he sees you more as someone who is getting in the way of his purpose (to provide for you) and he doesn’t feel needed. 

Yes. Masculine men thrive in being needed to give and share their resources with others, especially a woman he loves. 

You don’t have to do that here with him. 

He feels like you’re robbing him of the pleasure he has to serve you. 

If you already have everything, what can he give you?

Oh, his love and his companionship?

NOPE. 

That’s not enough for him.  

He is built differently than you. 

He needs to work and provide and wants a woman that will receive and encourage his hard earned efforts. 

When YOU give, you take away his purpose. 

His purpose is to protect and provide for others and he will see you as a threat to his life’s purpose. 

He’ll have fun with you. Heck he might even let you pay for dinner. But he’ll never claim you or commit to you if you lead with your successes. 

He needs to be the successful hard working one in the relationship. 

The woman that gets the man is the woman that encourages him to work hard, provide for her, and receive his provision. 

Want to get his love, devotion AND all his hard earned efforts?

Stop talking about your work, your goals and your money. 

Instead, ask him what HIS goals are. Ask him what he loves about his work. Ask him what kind of work he would do if he could choose any career in the world. 

You simply have to sit back, watch, listen and receive what he so desperately wants to give you. 

YOU’LL ATTRACT LOSERS

The worse part about leading with masculine energy of providing?

You’ll attract the men with low effort attitude that take, take and take some more.

Yes, he will make you do ALL THE WORK in the relationship.

From approaching him, texting and calling him, to planning most your dates.

You’ll be left paying, planning and providing.

Sound familiar?

Yup. Now you’re the masculine provider and he’s receiving all your goodness.

This is NOT how God intended things between men and women.

These takers will leave you feeling unloved, overworked and resentful. You have enough on your plate. You don’t need a boy that think you’re his mommy and sugar momma.

Attract the masculine man that is loving, loyal and protects and provides for YOU.

STOP leading with your “stuff” and ask him what he’s got going on.

You’re the prize and he wants to win you over!

Let’s Connect

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Join the private Segura community HERE. The private community is where we unpack the Segura program, do live Q&A each Thursday at 12 noon PST and I teach the value of singleness, how to achieve joy in singleness and how your faith and God’s Word helps you be the best woman you can be and therefore choose a Godly man.

Subscribe to my Youtube channel HERE.

Connect with me on Instagram HERE.

Follow me on Tiktok HERE.

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit HERE.

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts by clicking HERE.

Listen to this episode on Spotify by clicking HERE. 

To follow is “to move behind and in the same direction”.  This essentially means you see and acknowledge his plans, agree with them and move with him towards that destination. In other words, what you’re communicating to him by following him is “what you want for your life is great. I agree with it and I support you.” 

This is HUGE for a man. This lets him know you trust him and makes him feel respected. Men go and stay in places they feel respected. 

Conversely, if a man is taking you down a dark alley with no plans, explanation or understanding, you will feel hesitation to follow. 

Women tend to not follow when the destination is not clear, you don’t like the destination or don’t understand why or how it benefits you. 

Notice if this is preventing you from following him. You may just need clarity, more information or understanding. Talk to your partner and learn! 

Below are 7 ways that allow him to feel that you are in your feminine and following him. 

1.Support his leadership: Respect his decisions and guidance,

2.Encourage his passions: Show interest in his interests and passions

3.Be his cheerleader: Offer words of encouragement

4.Provide emotional support: Be there for him emotionally, offering a listening ear and empathetic understanding when he needs to share his thoughts and feelings.

5.Respect his autonomy: Allow him space to make his own choices and decisions, respecting his independence and autonomy.

6.Follow his lead in social settings: Allow him to take the lead in social situations, whether it’s introducing you to others, deciding on plans, or navigating conversations.

7.Show gratitude: Express gratitude for his efforts and contributions to the relationship, whether it’s through small gestures, acts of kindness, or supportive actions.

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

LET’S CONNECT

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

Have you ever wondered why you feel like you’re doing all the right things with a man but he doesn’t respond the way you want him to? 

Have you had a man say the dreaded “it’s not you, it’s me. Right now just isn’t the right time for me to be in a relationship.”

Have you dated a man and everything seemed good and felt it was moving along smoothly when he just stopped reaching out and claimed he was super busy? 

Or worse, men are approaching you, but it’s all the wrong guys. They don’t have their stuff together or are emotionally unavailable.  

This is very common among women who are used to operating in their masculine energy. 

This wonderful results-getting behavior helped you become the strong woman you now are.  You got a bomb career, you’re organized, you’re a planner, are great in a crisis and girl, you’re a bomb mother to your babies. 

But this amazing hustle mode is oftentimes being brought over into your romantic relationship or when meeting new men and it’s the number one killer to love.

This drive you have, the ability to get things done efficiently and quickly is beyond powerful at work and at home but actually makes you a failure with men.

Allow me to explain why.

Masculine energy is about action and getting results. It’s about taking results-oriented action. The masculine focuses on doing, solving, fixing, completing, analyzing, thinking, decision making, logistics, figuring out, planning, leading, execution and giving. Masculine energy seeks to take action to create a result. It’s transactional in nature. 

Men stay in their head because they are problem solvers by nature. They are logical thinkers and use this trait to get things done. 

They’re purpose is to be protectors, providers and committed procreators. 

They need respect, acceptance and challenges. 

Feminine energy is about feeling, sensing, expressing, receiving, allowing, flowing, intuiting and following.

But when you’ve  learned to operate in your masculine of “accomplishing” and “giving”, you unintentionally bring this energy to your man and literally repels him.

You might be thinking, “But Anabell, I’m not repelling men, I have a boyfriend” or “I’m dating a great guy.” 

But if you’re reading this, I’m willing to bet that you’re not feeling fully loved, truly seen or taken care of by him. 

You feel like if you show him or tell him the truth about who you are or let him in on what you actually want from a relationship, you’re worried he’ll think it’s “too much”, “you’re needy” or “extra and asking for a lot.”

This happens because when you’re dating a man and aren’t using your feminine energy of feeling, following and receiving, you instead try to be the thinking, leader and giver. 

THIS IS A RELATIONSHIP AND CONNECTION KILLER. 

Why? 

Men do not know how to respond to this energy because it confuses him. And when a man is confused, he does nothing. 

On one hand he has a beautiful and smart woman standing in front of him or on the other end of his text messages, and he’s attracted to her physically but she feels like his friend or coworker. 

He doesn’t know whether to ask you on a date so he can kiss you or hang out with you and talk about work. 

You leading a conversation with thoughts, questions and big opinions forces him to stay in his head and strategize. He feels like he’s on the job. It feels like work. 

When what he really wants is to relax, stop thinking and just have fun and experience those  feel-good emotions a feminine woman allows him to access with her chill and peaceful vibe. 

You have to learn to be in your feminine in order to get him to access the 3 important stages in a relationship that make him interested in & attracted to you, strongly connected to you and deeply bonded with you. 

Only a woman in her feminine energy can do this. Period. 

You must learn how his mind works and what his heart needs so you can allow him to experience what every man deeply desires: the relaxing and yet successful parts of him he never knew existed and he can only get from being with you. 

This is why I created my new live workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You.

In this workshop you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

On March 27th at 12:00 pm PST you’ll learn the unique ways he experiences you and what makes him interested in learning more about you, attracted to you to the point that he will take the lead without you ever convincing or feeling like you have to be the initiator. 

You’ll learn the 3 emotions he MUST feel that keep him coming back for more and excited to continue dating you. 

You’ll learn the most common misconception women make about men that have them sabotaging their love life and keeps you single!

You’ll learn why the guy you want is not asking to see you even though he’s texting you and telling you he’s interested.  

You’ll learn the 3 neurochemicals that surge through his body when he’s interested in, connecting with and bonding to you and exactly how YOU can create them in his body.

You’ll learn about the most important experience a man must have with you that lets him know you’re someone he can trust and that you’re the one for him. 

You’ll learn how to use your emotions to bring him closer to you.

The female archetype all men crave and want to commit to and exactly how to embody her. 

And most importantly you’ll learn all the details about his inner world and exactly how to navigate it. 

You wouldn’t use pesos in California to buy groceries at Whole Foods, why would you use female strategies on a man?

You can’t. It wont work.  It will leave you feeling frustrated, confused and worse, like you’re doing something wrong. 

You’re not doing something wrong with him. Those masculine energy strategies of hustling and leading are great at work and effective when he uses them with you!  

You’re just using the wrong information and wrong strategy with him. 

I’m here to give you the playbook (all the correct information & strategy) so you can use it on the right court (with men). 

You deserve to win in love too and I’ll help you get there easily and confidently. 

You’ll experience him in ways you never thought possible. You’ll feel taken care of, led and loved. 

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Feminine women are masters at causing men to crave them when they’re gone and when they’re around.  ⁣

⁣She makes a man want to commit to her and be the ONLY man in her life. ⁣

⁣So much so, he gives up his freedom to love, provide and protect only her. ⁣

⁣So what are these women doing that evokes this reaction in these so called “strong masculine” men?⁣

⁣Men are really attracted to women who exhibit three things: ⁣

⁣1. A woman confident about herself and the life she has. ⁣

⁣2. A woman comfortable in her own skin and comfortable to receive. ⁣

⁣3. A woman consistent in her behaviors and has self-control. ⁣

⁣Feminine women have lives that create a deep curiosity and interest in a man. 

She has a life full of exciting experiences and events that bring her  joy and love. This makes her different than most women which really peaks his interest and make him want to get to know her more. ⁣

She engages with the world in an open, trusting and flexible way. She’s comfortable with receiving all he has to offer which makes him feel needed, appreciated and empowered. ⁣

⁣She adapts to any situation and controls her behaviors so they always match her feelings. 

He can always trust that her emotions match up with how he sees her. He appreciates her honesty and vulnerability and thus he feels able to be himself and more vulnerable. 

This makes him feel comfortable to open up, express himself and connect emotionally with her. 

This makes him feel like he has a supportive woman, a team player on his side and makes him want to choose her to stay forever.   ⁣

Do you feel comfortable with him AND when he’s gone?

Do you feel secure about yourself with or without a man? 

Can you trust yourself to be consistent in your actions with him and know that you’re always the loving and supportive feminine woman he deeply needs?

Two of the biggest reasons strong, successful and independent women don’t feel comfortable and confident with or without your man is because you:

1. Don’t understand how masculine men think, feel and need from a woman. (its DRASTICALLY different than other men)
2. Are in the habit of always being in your masculine energy and you can’t shut it off when you engage with him.

The first step is learning what he wants, how he feels and how this masculine man moves through this world when it comes to women. 

He’s not like those other immature guys. He wants a feminine woman and he dates her totally differently. 

And in order for you to engage with him the way he needs, you MUST understand feminine attraction because that’s what he craves from you.  

A feminine woman knows a masculine man deeply. She understands exactly how he works (which is one of the reasons she’s so confident with him) and she knows how to show up in a way that makes him want her AND makes him feel respected and trusted. 

A feminine woman uses her femininity to attract him, connect with him and then bond him deeply to her. 

And he loves it. 

The great part? This is a skill you can easily learn. 

I teach you the skill of feminine attraction in the Feminine Attraction System, my new mini-course just for you, the strong, independent and successful woman that’s READY for a loving and loyal man. 

In the Feminine Attraction System, you will learn:

• How unhealthy feminine guys think, feel, look and behave so you can spot him a mile away and stay away from them.
• How healthy masculine men that are loving & loyal to women behave and how to spot them
• The 3 unique stages to love he MUST go through (and you can take naturally take him there) that lead to love and commitment
• The emotions that he MUST feel during these 3 stages and how you can organically influence him to have them.
• How to feel confident, calm, comfortable in your own skin and practice total self control during the dating process.
• All the attraction, connection and bonding KILLERS and exactly how to never do them.
• My unique feminine framework called Creating Space that easily allows you to look and feel in total control of your emotions, mindset and time when he’s not around and makes him crazy for you.
• The Feminine Standards Staircase and how this framework allows you to raise your standards and deeply know your worth so he sees you as a high value woman!

Imagine….

Feeling confident, in control and comfortable in your skin every time he’s around.

Being with a man that’s proud to introduce you to his friends and family.

Having the peace and security that comes from being with a man you trust.

Feeling like you love everything about him and wouldn’t change a thing.

Knowing how he feels because he always shares his emotions and intentions.

That’s exactly what you’ll have and how you’ll feel when you begin using feminine attraction to date.

Nothing’s wrong with you. You’ve just been using the wrong method to get a man. You’ve been pursuing and that’s HIS job.

You need to receive his pursuit and only feminine dating methods allow you to do this.

Click HERE  to get The Feminine Attraction System now before the price goes up and you miss out on the bonus module and the bonus guide, 100 Ways To Create An Unbreakable Bond. 

It’s yours now for only $47. Click here to download it now. 

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

A man values things that require his:⁣
⁣
Time, effort and the need for him to reach and maintain a high standard and consistency.⁣
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He knows that good things take time, good things are valuable, they’re expensive, you gotta pay with time, effort and money. His resources. ⁣
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He understands his need to work in order to obtain the prize, status or respect. He desires the challenge for how it makes him a better and stronger man. ⁣
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When he earns a job, he doesn’t expect to get benefits until after the 90-day probation period.⁣
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So when a woman gives him something too quickly, he can subconsciously deem it or her as low value. ⁣
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When someone doesn’t have high standards…has low standards or settles for anything, this again rings as low value. ⁣
⁣
You see….Men want things that give them status in society. ⁣
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Things that give men status are things of high value. ⁣
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Having a good woman that can be his wife is like winning the ultimate prize. ⁣
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Promiscuity is a characteristic of a toy used or played with for temporary fun. ⁣
⁣
He’ll pull it out here and there when he’s bored or wants some fun, but surely he will not proudly share her. He will hide her in the cabinet, or the darkness of the bedroom. ⁣
⁣
A good woman that’s deserves the position of wife, however, is worthy to be brought out into the light of the world as she gives him peace, strength and status. ⁣
⁣
A man does NOT want a woman that attaches to him fast, likes him quickly without him using any effort to gain that affection. ⁣
⁣
A woman worthy of being a wife understands the value of her mind, spirit AND body. She’s private. She doesn’t share it with every man. ⁣
⁣
And because she values herself and uses self control and shares her values and standards clearly, he values her too. ⁣
⁣
Do you want to be played with or celebrated? The choice is yours. ⁣

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Men bond to women when they give while women bond when they receive. ⁣

⁣In a romantic relationship, a man gives (or uses) his resources: time, energy & money. ⁣

⁣Why?⁣

⁣Men need respect. This is the male equivalent of a female needing love. ⁣

⁣Men feel respected when they overcome challenges, feel successful, needed, appreciated, acknowledged, encouraged and accepted to be themselves.⁣

⁣They feel successful when they provide, protect, lead, accomplish things, solve problems, overcome obstacles & get results. ⁣

⁣They provide and protect when they have the opportunity to give.⁣

⁣They give to those who need and want to receive.  ⁣

⁣And if you’ve been following me here, you know that one of the most important roles a woman takes in a relationship with a man is the feminine energy of receiver and follower. ⁣

⁣Relaxing and allowing him to lead or give to you means he will begin associating the feeling of success with YOU. ⁣

⁣We spend time with people who make us feel good and men LOVE to feel successful. ⁣

⁣So if you want to him to come around more and commit to you, do any of the 10 things below (or all of them!) whenever you want to give your man a “win”.⁣

⁣1. Ask him to open something like a jar or box.⁣

⁣2. Ask him to fix something in your house like tighten screws in cabinets or change a light bulb that’s too high for you to reach. ⁣

⁣3. Ask him to solve a puzzle with you.  ⁣

⁣4. Ask him to please hold your coat while you tie your shoe.⁣

⁣5. When you’re at his place, ask for a glass of water or snack. ⁣

⁣6. Ask him for the best directions some place.⁣

⁣7. Ask for his advice with a small problem you have. ⁣

⁣8. To explain a sport or movie.⁣

⁣9. To share his plans to reach a work goal.⁣

⁣10. Explain how something works. ⁣

⁣And most importantly…after he gets that win, give him plenty of praise and appreciation and tell him how you FEEL. Things like “Wow, babe you’re so strong.” or “I love how I can always count on you to help me with things like this. I feel so safe with you.” or “My hero!”⁣

⁣Make sure it’s genuine. 

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Men need respect, work, purpose, sex, appreciation, and recreational hobbies. ⁣

⁣Men feel “loved” when they feel respected.⁣

⁣They feel respected when they overcome challenges, they’re successful, needed, appreciated, acknowledged, encouraged and accepted to be themselves.⁣

⁣They feel appreciated when they provide and protect/lead, accomplish things, solve problems, overcome obstacles, get results. ⁣

⁣They provide and protect when they’re given the opportunity to give.⁣

⁣They give to those who need and want to receive. ⁣

⁣Women, however need love, affection and support.⁣

⁣Women feel loved when we connect & bond with another via conversation.⁣

⁣Women feel supported when we are provided for and protected….when others give their time, energy or money. Their Resources. ⁣

⁣What happens when you give to a man? ⁣

⁣Men are protected and provided for by their parents when they’re boys.⁣

⁣They had parents providing when they were not capable of doing things themselves. ⁣

⁣So when someone gives to them, praises without knowing them well, or wants to bond or give trust quickly, men think something is off. It feels wrong. ⁣

⁣Why?⁣

⁣Because men inherently know that they are supposed to protect and provide for a woman, not receive.⁣

⁣Men understand they are leaders and should be GIVING a woman his time, effort, plans, protection, care, support, etc. ⁣

⁣So when women try to give to men, it feels wrong & actually makes them feel like failures. ⁣

⁣Men do not bond through conversation or receiving. They feel bonded to and successful with people or experiences that require he be challenged to give and work hard. ⁣

⁣A man feels respectable and capable when he achieves, especially with a woman. ⁣

Men commit to women that help him feel successful.

⁣He will feel bonded to you when you require he give and you receive. ⁣

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

How The Love Hormone Can Help You Or Hurt You.

Oxytocin is the hormone at play within women and men when you two interact by socializing, or looking at each other, holding hands or touching each other. Small bursts of oxytocin are released. Oxytocin levels increase as you two continue to interact by talking, touching and cuddling. 

For example, a phone conversation produces a little gust that causes you to want to go on a date. Then you go on a date and get a little more oxytocin, which makes you want to kiss goodnight. Then, you kiss good night and get another heaping gob of feel-good. Big thing to remember: oxytocin can be self-amplifying, that is, it produces a type of positive feedback-loop.

Oxytocin’s amplifying effect causes both your oxytocin levels to increase over time. Oh and I’m not talking a little bit higher. The oxytocin level from being single to being in a relationship is almost doubled! Oxytocin has also been found to increase the desire to make eye contact with your partner which in turn induces the production of dopamine. The two neurotransmitters work together , amplifying each other and intensifying your guys’ connection. 

Which comes first probably doesn’t matter. When it comes to dating, it appears they work in tandem and it makes sense.  As you get excited to be with someone, you produce dopamine, which causes you to want to be around him, which causes you to produce oxytocin. 

The more oxytocin you have, the more you want to be around him, and if that interaction continues to be positive, you produce more dopamine. Eventually the two neurotransmitters build up until you reach a tipping point. On the other side of this neurochemical summit is the exciting sensation of falling in love. 

The slow build up of oxytocin is the ideal way to fall in love. However, things don’t always work as we expect. Because oxytocin increases when you’re with your beau, being physically intimate, specifically having sex and having an orgasm, give you a HUGE surge of oxytocin. When you like a man and are producing dopamine, when you introduce sex to the relationship which gives you really big surges of oxytocin build up quickly and you tip over into love. 

The interesting thing about the powerful oxytocin is this love inducing hormone, when present, also shuts off your amygdala which acts as your alarm system to alert you of potential threats. It also quiets your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain that allows you to think critically, use information and make decisions. Sure you’re feeling the euphoria of love after sex, but it can make you a little crazy in love. 

For example, if you meet a great guy, have a few fun dates in the matter of a few weeks and decide to sleep with him, you’ll more than likely start feeling the lovey dovey feelings come on quickly thereafter.

But because this is the time you should be qualifying him as a potential partner and simply getting to know him, without access to your “judge” (thinking brain) and your “alarm system” (threat detecting amygdala), you’ll miss the red flags and signs of incompatibility because you’re deep in love far too soon.

This is why oxytocin can help you or hurt you. It can assist you with falling in love but hurt you if you fall in love with the “wrong guy” by releasing oxytocin far too soon after having sex early on and avoiding essential data you should be using to qualify him.

I’ve heard this countless times from my clients, you like a guy and want to feel “closer” to him so you have sex in an attempt to show him how you feel. But instead, oxytocin soars and because you’re now in love, you can easily miss the alcohol drinking problem he has, the wandering eye that shows up when he’s around any other woman and the lack of communication skills he’s managed to get by with.

Now you’re stuck in a relationship with a man you normally would never have consciously chosen had you been fully present and aware with all your mental faculties on board.  Plus being in love can make you extra needy and because you got there way sooner than him, he’ll feel pressured by your extra dose of needs which can overwhelm him and repel him rather than attract him.

Your “judge” and “alarm system” are essential in choosing a healthy partner and having sex too soon will cloud your judgment and suppress your internal intuition.

Avoid settling for the wrong man by waiting to be physically intimate until you’re in a committed relationship or until marriage. This allows you to avoid the mental fog of falling in love way too early that can cloud your ability to make one of the most important decisions of your life, partner selection.

Plus since it typically takes men a little longer to fall in love, when you do finally have sex, you’ll get that oxytocin surge and you’ll both be falling in love together.

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

In my last journal entry you learned that men and women fall in love differently, typically at different speeds and require different chemical reactions/feelings to occur in order to get them to feel like they found that special someone. 

In this journal entry I’m going to share the actual phases a man needs to go through that create those specific neurotransmitters that lead him from meeting to mating. So let’s get to it. 

The 3 Stages To Love

1. Physical Attraction
2. Emotional Connection
3. Bonding

Physical Attraction

You’re having cocktails with your girlfriends at a new french restaurant and you spot a handsome dark haired man in a suit standing by the bar with his work colleague. Your eyes meet and physical attraction and desire begin. You feel all tingly inside. When a man spots a woman he’s attracted to, he gets a jolt of testosterone. This flips the switch on his “pursuit spot” in his hypothalamus in his brain. 

This area of a man’s brain is responsible for sexual response and activation of male sexual behavior. This little structure says, “oh yeah, go get her” then sends instructions to his feet to start moving in her direction. Think of testosterone as the hormone that causes a man to press on the gas and drive towards what he’s attracted to you. To put it simply:  attraction creates testosterone = action. 

Emotional Connection

You excuse yourself to the ladies room and he notices. Opportunity strikes for him and he decides to approach you on your way out and into the bar. You’re surprised but flattered and our friend dopamine, the feel good hormone, begins surging in each of you during the witty flirting you’re having.

Before the night ends, he confidently asks you for your number and you begin communicating via text and phone calls in the days that follow. Dopamine explodes in each of you every time your phones buzz and during your first date. Friday night comes along and you feel moments of connection, fun, and intrigue during the conversation you have and what you see and feel between one another. As you’re getting to know and trust one another, your reward circuit gives you bursts of oxytocin and you each begin liking one another a lot more. 

Emotional Attraction Continues…

The courting process continues and he leads and you follow with your feminine energy. He’s intrigued and the refreshing change keeps the feel good dopamine pumping through his veins. Tons of attraction. This creates more testosterone and keeps him asking you out week after week and then month after month. You let him love you and give to you so he feels like he’s needed and this makes him feel successful. 

You’re becoming closer and as you’re getting to trust one another more, oxytocin and dopamine are at an all time high for you. You’ve had conversations about the future and he knows you want marriage and he wants that too someday.

Bonding

Spending a lot of time together has truly bonded you. None of that surface level stuff here. Vasopressin is definitely present for him. Some normal disagreements have occurred but you two have communicated effectively and solved every issue.

As time is going by, he feels respected by you and you feel truly loved by him. He sees you more and more as the Kobe to his Shaq and because you’re not putting pressure on him to commit, he feels even more eager to lock things down. Although he’s nervous about being exclusive, he doesn’t want anyone else to have you so he asks you to be his girlfriend. With time, he’s clear you’re someone he could see as his wife.

The 3 Stages Explained

Physical attraction is essential for him to be attracted and testosterone to be present. When he’s attracted, he gets testosterone and he pursues you.  

Emotional attraction is where dating takes place and where men experience your feminine energy that gets each of you into your heart and out of your heads. When he’s with you, it’s exciting and you’re feminine, the dopamine and testosterone keep flowing. This is the most important stage men need in order to know if they can love you, lead you and provide for you. Men can only fall in love when they access their emotions and they can only access theirs when you first access yours. Femininity is a must.

Bonding occurs when he’s sexually attracted to you, you’re connecting and communicating well together, he feels respected and able to give to you and sees you as a teammate he can get the “championship with”, vasopressin is present and creates a true bond between you and him. 

Falling in love happens after a man bonds with a woman, he doesn’t want anyone else to have her, and he makes the relationship official and commits. 

A man will only commit to something he feels confident he can succeed at. In other words, he only commits to something now that he can remain committed to for the long term. 

For Part 1 on Why Men & Women Fall In Love VERY Differently click here.

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE 

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

1. Go for a long drive with a friend and ask them to drive. 

Your masculine energy would tell them how to drive, where to go or question why they’re taking a certain route. But not the feminine you!  Swipe left for tips on how to allow them to take the wheel and lead.

Sit back. Relax. Take a deep breath. Look at the surroundings. Be the DJ and enjoy the music. Sing. Have a fun conversation with your friend.

RESIST THE URGE TO MICROMANAGE WITH DIRECTIONS

Close your eyes and get into your body and out of your head. Feel the speed of the car accelerating or the bumps on the road . Listen to sounds of the car, the road or other cars. Listen to the music or focus on the conversation you’re having.Remember who you’re with and why you trust them and why they’re a perfect fit to drive today.

2. Invite a friend or partner to eat and allow them to choose the restaurant

The feminine wants to know who others truly are, is open to connect with them in their environment and receive what they have to offer.

TIPS:

Look around and observe your surroundings and find things you enjoy about the restaurant. Share them with your friend and express your emotions about it, including the food you eat. “It’s so cozy here.” or “I’m really excited to experience a new restaurant with you.”

EXTRA POINTS IF YOU LET THEM ORDER FOR YOU!

Tell them what you like and don’t like or any dietary restrictions you have.  Look at your meal when it arrives, taste it and find joy in the new meal what you received. Express what you like about it.

3. Take a new dance or workout class

The feminine has her own personal interests & hobbies and invests time, energy and money in herself. She will ask for support from mentors that can help her learn new skills and is willing to try new things.

TIPS:

Getting in your body and out of your head is the goal here. Moving your body simply for the joy of it and not as something to have to accomplish, even better.

Allowing someone to teach you how to move your body whether it’s to learn a new dance or workout routine is truly feminine, especially in a group!

Is there a new dance or ballet class, pilates class or rumba workout at your gym you can sign up for?

Allow yourself to make mistakes & stay in your body and focus on your physical movement .

ALLOW SOMEONE TO LEAD & TRUSTING OTHERS 

Notice how both allowing someone to lead, make decisions for you and trying new things can create a feeling of unease or discomfort in you?

This is because you’re accustomed to being in your masculine and in control as a means to feel safe.

Being in your feminine is about trusting others to lead so you can receive, rest and find joy, safety and security in following, lettIng go and simply being you.

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to masculine love and feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE 

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

First, let’s define what communication is.

Webster’s dictionary defines communication as: the act, process or transfer of information, the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing or to share knowledge. To make something known to another.

You as a woman communicate verbally with words and nonverbally with your actions.

What is masculine communication

As always, I would like for you to clearly know the difference between the masculine and feminine interpretation of an experience so let’s first look at masculine communication.

Communication in your masculine energy focuses on sharing what you think, what someone or something should do, and how they should do it in order to get a result accomplished.

It gives direction and it’s expressed by sharing information about what’s pertinent to get the goal completed.

What is feminine communication

When you’re communicating from your feminine energy, you’re sharing what you feel, what you want, in order to allow someone the opportunity to provide it for you.

It strives to connect to others or your environment by expressing how you’re personally feeling in the moment.  It’s honest and shares information in a way that inspires others to feel open, safe and supports the goal of the relationship.

Example of masculine verbal communication

Imagine being at your favorite restaurant with your best girlfriend and the waiter asks if you’re ready to order.

Masculine energy order: 

(You go first. In a loud and stern tone, speaking quickly) I think I want the New York steak, the 12 oz. cut. The brussel sprouts. The garlic mashed potatoes. Make sure to tell the chef I want the steak bloody. The steak should be red inside. Tell him not to use butter when he cooks my steak. Use something else, just not butter. Maybe olive oil. And bring it to me piping hot as soon as it’s off the grill. Don’t let it sit under the heating lamp. Oh and bring me another dirty martini. This glass is empty. 

Feminine energy order:

(Now your friend. In a soft and joyful tone.) “Yes, thank you, I’m ready to order. I’ve been excited about this meal all day! I’m so hungry so I want to start with a caesar salad. Dressing on the side please. I want the filet mignon, 10 ounce cut please, prepared medium rare. I like asparagus and macaroni and cheese. Also, I would love to drink a 9 oz glass of the Opus One Cabernet Sauvignon with my dinner. Thank you so much!”

Do you notice the difference between the two ways of speaking and communicating? The difference is in the information they share and how they share it.

Masculine communication explained

The masculine gives thoughts and directions. You use words like “I think” and don’t share how you’re feeling. You’re focused on accomplishing the goal of eating a meal you want.

Your tone is curt and specific. You told the waiter what to do, didn’t use words like please or thank you either. It can influence another to feel stressed and hurried which can ironically, cause him to make mistakes. This happens when a person is in a stress response, their thinking faculties can get kicked offline and it can make it difficult for a person to focus and organize their thoughts. This form of communicating is results-focused, not connection-focused.

Feminine communication explained

The feminine shares exactly what she wants as well, however, she’s expressive in the words she uses to share how she’s feeling about the experience. “I’ve been excited about this meal all day!” She also uses feelings to explicitly describe what emotion she’s having about the meal. She uses words like “please” and “thank you” and in a soft and joyful tone. Please and thank you express gratitude. A soft and joyful tone in your voice can influence others to feel calm and open towards you. This creates the desire in someone to listen and they are inspired to serve you.

This form of communication is connection-focused.

NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE?

Neither form of communication is wrong or right. Both get the result accomplished.

Notice how the waiter can feel from the masculine communication versus the feminine. The difference is in the information that was shared and how they share it, verbally and nonverbally. 

Each energy is focused on different things: results or connection.

Feminine communication uses both your right and left brain to offer your desires and emotions, to share information in a way that inspires others to feel open, safe and supports the goal of the relationship.

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to receiving his masculine love and all with your natural feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Every person has both masculine and feminine energy and you use them in different moments of your life.

Masculine or feminine energy has to do with the way you engage with the world, with yourself and with others. It has to do with the energy you’re radiating out. So much of this vibe you’re putting out is in everything you say and do and so much more of it is just in what you’re FEELING and what others are feeling from you.

I can’t define feminine energy without also describing what the masculine is so you can see the difference and their polarity.

MASCULINE ENERGY

Masculine energy is about action and getting results. The masculine is about doing, planning, achieving, setting goals, solving, fixing, completing, analyzing, thinking, decision making, logistics, figuring out, leading, execution and giving.

Masculine energy seeks to take action to create a result. It’s a more logical and thinking energy and stays in their head. It’s transactional in nature. Think, “do this and get that.” It’s very linear and almost rigid.

FEMININE ENERGY

Feminine energy is about being, expressing, feeling, receiving, allowing, flowing, intuiting and following.

Feminine energy invokes your creativity, your emotions, and receptivity. Meaning it helps you engage with your environment and receive all that is available to you. This includes receiving anything from information, ideas, support, love etc. Feminine energy focuses more on being in your body and not in your head. Think, “I am here and this feels good.”  It’s flexible and goes with the flow.

Feminine energy is important as it’s the energy that helps you feel grounded, nurtured and helps you to connect to yourself, God and others around you deeper.

It focuses on using your 5 senses to connect with your surroundings and others.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE  ENGAGING YOUR FEMININE ENERGY?

Are you mostly a feeling, sensual, expressing and experiencing-in-the-moment  kind of woman instead of focusing on doing, overthinking, staying in your head, achieving and accomplishing tasks most of the time?

Are you willing and able to surrender, follow and be led by others?

Is it easy and feel good to receive from others? Do you trust others to be themselves and find their own way?

If so, then you’re very comfortable in your feminine energy.

ARE YOU MORE COMFORTABLE  ENGAGING YOUR MASCULINE ENERGY?

Do you find yourself making lists and checking them off, making plans, giving advice to your date, your boyfriend or husband, friends, co-workers and family all the time – and feeling gratified from a sense of accomplishment?

Do you prefer to stay in your head, thinking, analyzing, learning and remain busy?

Are you goal oriented and motivated by success, completion and achieving?

If so, then you’re very comfortable in your masculine energy.

BOTH WAYS OF ENGAGEMENT ARE VITAL AND NECCESARY

od calls us to work, dominate, cultivate and be fruitful.

But they’re polar opposite roles, very different roles but each important to steward.

Masculine energy is about producing fruit.

Feminine energy is about being fruitful.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

4 Things A Feminine Woman Does Not Do

1. Does not control others.
2. Does not force outcomes.
3. Takes no for an answer.
4. Does not criticize, blame, accuse, judge, over-generalize, control, teach, convince or fix others.

She does not control others

She does not control others because she understands that if she controls another person, they are no longer doing what they want but what she wants.  A feminine woman always wants the truth and deals with reality. She wants to know who a person is, how they think, feel and behave. She understands that in order to truly connect with a person, she must learn who someone really is and she won’t get that by manipulating their behavior.

Does not force outcomes

Does not force outcomes but she trusts God implicitly. She knows He is good, just and His timing is perfect. A feminine woman understands that although things take time, are uncomfortable and the results don’t look the way she hoped, nothing has gone wrong. She knows God is a God of order and purpose. She does not skip steps or takes shortcuts. She knows that He will only give her what she can handle and gains character and integrity whatever the outcome.

Does take no for an answer

Does take no for an answer.  She believes that a no is direction, not rejection. She doesn’t take a no personal because she knows that someone’s “no” means her “yes” is somewhere else. She also knows that oftentimes a no today could mean yes next month.  She is patient, respects others’ needs and won’t force an outcome.

Because she knows her value, someone’s no never defines her worth or diminishes it. She honors peoples’ differences and allows others to not agree with her.

Does not criticize, blame, accuse, judge, over-generalize, control, teach, convince or fix others

Does not criticize, blame, accuse, judge, over-generalize, control, teach, convince or fix others because she knows that when she hurts others, she is hurting God’s work. When she expresses herself, she is sharing her own feelings, desires, likes and dislikes. She focuses on creating love, not stress. She desires to be of value everywhere she is and changing people, when that isn’t what people ever need, is not only not helpful, but hurtful. She leaves change to the Holy Spirit.

A feminine woman always takes complete responsibility for her words, thoughts, energy and behaviors. She can handle disappointment, differences and discovering that things don’t go her way. She will not impose her will on others. She allows others to show up exactly as they are but will make decisions based on the truth. She is in charge of her life not in control of others’.  She shares her feelings, doesn’t make others change theirs. She’s a woman, not a girl.

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to receiving his masculine love and all with your natural feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

This weekend I was listening to Spanish songs my parents used to play when I was a little girl. I had the urge to hear them while I was making one of my mother’s favorite recipes of albondigas. 

I also used to play and sing these with an old boyfriend. He would play the guitar and I would sing, we’d get drunk and smoke weed.  ⁣

I loved these songs because they remind me of my family, my culture and good parts of my childhood. ⁣

But now they remind me of my ex and the dozens of times we sang, got high and had sex. ⁣

I found myself wanting to text him. I wanted alcohol. I wanted to see him. ⁣

Thank God I blocked him and deleted his number. Not because he’s a bad guy. He was kind, fun and brought out the creative side of me I deeply yurned to express. ⁣

But when we spent time together we did things that led me to sin, things I would never do now. ⁣

I praise Jesus for filling me with the Holy Spirit and giving me self control to never call my exes that led me away from God.  ⁣

Music is powerful. If it was music you listened to when you sinned, It will trigger old behavior patterns, thoughts, and feelings.  It will bring  up negative beliefs about yourself and you’ll begin feeling down. ⁣

I caught myself and opened up The Bible app and begin reading Matthew 14:29 to remember that I’m safe and loved with Jesus even after I fall like Peter fell in the ocean when he got scared. M⁣

Protect your ears and all your physical senses from environments that evoke the desire to sin. ⁣

This is why I love worship music and “Godly R&B” music that focuses on worshipping God directly and putting Jesus at the center of your life.

Godly R&B and Godly Hip Hop are songs that discuss different life situations and handling them with God’s Word and the tenets of the Bible.

Below are artists and my personal playlists of music I listen to instead of secular music that can place you into a negative mental and emotional state.

I pray you will consider what music you’re listening to and allow God to lead you to better options that support His word.

MY PLAYLISTS

Dope Worship on Apple Music

Dope Worship on Spotify

Artists I love

Stevie Rizo

Jordan May

Jeremiah Paltan

Saint James

Gabby Callwood

Sam Rivera

Justin Bieber – Freedom Album

Maverick City Music

Yung Kris

Miles Minnick

I pray this music blesses you and renews your mind.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Enjoy this journal entry? Subscribe to the journal by clicking here.

Are You Pushing Him Away? Uncover the Surprising Impact of Your Masculine Energy

Have you ever considered that the energy you radiate could be the invisible barrier between you and the loving, committed relationship you’re yearning for? The latest episode of the insightful podcast series, “115 – How Your Masculine Energy Repels A Healthy Masculine Man,” takes a deep dive into the unexpected dynamics that might just be sabotaging your love life.

Ladies, it’s time to tune in and transform the way you approach dating and relationships. This episode isn’t about diminishing your power or setting aside the strength that defines you. On the contrary, it’s a journey to discover the art of balance. The discussion at hand is about the delicate dance between your masculine and feminine energies and how it can create a magnetic attraction or an unspoken tension with a healthy masculine man.

The Myth of Early Intimacy and Other Relationship Pitfalls

Are you using physical intimacy as a yardstick for a man’s commitment? The podcast shatters this widespread myth and offers a fresh perspective on what really cultivates love and commitment. Learn why rushing into the physical aspect can blur the lines and what you can do to navigate these waters with wisdom.

Self-Respect, Boundaries, and the Art of Challenge

Find out how self-respect and clear boundaries are not just about protecting your heart, but also about creating a challenge that fuels a man’s drive. It’s not a game; it’s about understanding the psychology of attraction and the hormonal dance that plays out in the early stages of romance. Discover the subtle art of being approachable without relinquishing the thrill of the chase.

Mastering Feminine Energy: The Path to Attracting a Healthy Partner

The episode culminates with a powerful call to action. Are you ready to master your feminine energy and become irresistibly attractive to a healthy masculine man? The podcast introduces a transformative course designed to guide you on this journey. You’re not just on the path to finding love; you’re embarking on a quest for personal growth and fulfillment.

A Message for the Strong, Independent Woman

If you’re a woman who’s worked hard to establish her place in the world, this episode speaks directly to you. It’s about embracing the full spectrum of your energies and recognizing how they impact your relationships. By achieving a harmony between your strength and softness, you create a space where a healthy masculine man can not only be drawn to you but also thrive alongside you.

So, are you ready to explore the profound wisdom of balancing your energies? Tune in to the podcast episode “115 – How Your Masculine Energy Repels A Healthy Masculine Man,” and embark on a transformative journey towards love, understanding, and true partnership.

Let’s Connect

Want to finally attract masculine men that are loving and loyal? Learn the feminine dating strategy that he MUST EXPERIENCE with you in order to fall in love & commit all on his own!  The Feminine Attraction System is your answer to receiving his masculine love and all with your natural feminine confidence in a relationship.   CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Learn the 10 Behaviors That Are Pushing Him Away CLICK HERE  to download my free guide to learn what they are so you can start attracting him.  

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok by CLICKING HERE  

To connect with me on Instagram, go here: @anabell.ingleton

Learn more about me and my coaching. Visit https://anabellingleton.co

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

In this week’s episode, I’m sharing what I believe Biblical femininity is and how it benefits your life to be in your true God-given design.  

What does it mean to be a woman rooted in her faith in Jesus Christ and driven by God’s will for her life.

Listen to the episode for all the details.

QUICK HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:

• THow doing less allows you to receive more. 
• The feminine traits that create deep connections with others.
• How men under the authority of God desire feminine women.
• How being more like Jesus help you end generational trauma
• The benefit that helps you feel safer in the world. 

Resources For You

Watch this video podcast on Youtube Here

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts HERE

Listen to this episode on Spotify HERE

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that woman struggle with.

To follow me on Instagram,  go here: @anabell.ingleton and @bloomingpodcastshow

Enjoy the show? Don’t miss an episode. Follow on Spotify and subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or RSS.

And if you love the episode,  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts so  others can find it too. Your feedback helps other listeners find the show and encourages me to keep creating content.

Humans aren’t naturally rational.

Which means when it comes to taking action…You don’t automatically go towards logical or analytical thinking and you’ll always be more inclined to use your instinctive and pleasure-seeking desire first.

This is normal but almost always not helpful when it comes to reaching your goal.

Why?

Because most goals stretch you and the steps you must take daily are typically momentarily “painful” so your mind will always tell you to stop, reschedule it or hit entirely.

Why is this important?

When you know this about you, you can stay aware and practice Self leadership to check the parts of you that look at your goal strategy as a “problem” and then start fixing for that with problem-fixing behavior like Instagram scrolling, food snacking, “resting” or listening to a podcast.

This is why knowing your SPB (self protective behavior) and your problem-fixing behaviors is ESSENTIAL so that when you find yourself doing them, you can empathize and redirect back your scheduled goal strategy!

Goals feel painful. They’re supposed to.

And when you reach your goal you’ll know you’re one of the top 1% of people that can do hard things, you’re powerful, consistent, trustworthy and accomplished.

Reaching a goal gives you the end result you wanted: a smaller waist, more money each month, a healthier and happier marriage, peace of mind. All amazing to have.

But goal setting and accomplishing it are for far more than the end result.

The self trust and confidence you feel and after doing something difficult is truly priceless. It’s like earning internal capital.

Value in your internal system.

A place where your parts see you as someone who can be followed and trusted.

Implicitly.

You create a subconscious that starts letting you drive the car whenever you want. And when you can drive the car more often, you’ll notice you’ll able to get to your destination even faster and with more ease.

Cheers to driving fast and being trusted.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

I coach coaches but  I’ve been scared to tell you ….

There is nothing more I want to do than to share my knowledge about how to coach and the how-tos of starting and scaling a successful coaching business. 

Some of you may or may not know that I’ve earned well over half a million dollars as a coach in just the past 2 years in business. 

With deep respect and pride I believe I’m really good at helping people change their behaviors, thoughts and emotions as well as being really good at business. 

(Honestly, I think I’m better at business than I am coaching. No shade to my coaching part. lol)

Don’t get it twisted, boo. I deliver fully on my promise for my coaching programs. 

However, I genuinely believe that the reason I’m really successful at making a lot of money as a coach is because……

I’m great at applied science. 

What the freak is that?

Applied science is a discipline that is used to apply existing scientific knowledge to develop more practical applications, for example: technology or inventions. 

Naval said it perfectly, “Society, business & money are downstream of technology, which is itself downstream of science. Science applied is the engine of humanity.”

A more specific example: I follow this awesome plastic surgeon on instagram named Dr. Amir Karam. He does these facelifts on women that help them look way younger without that weird cat lady look. 

He has applied his skill as a surgeon and his knowledge in human anatomy, but specifically the muscles, nerves and skin on the face, to create these two procedures called Vertical Prevent and Vertical Restore that help women stay looking youthful for a lot longer. 

I’m sure there are thousands of ways to lift a face. (ugh that just sounds painful). But he applied his knowledge in the human body and how it ages to create a surgical procedure and technique that gives women a more natural and long lasting youthful appearance. 

And I bet he makes millions of dollars a year doing it. 

So back to the coaching biz. 

Because I’ve studied, researched and been trained in human behavior, the mind, nervous system, how to change it, and how  and why people take very specific actions (click, open, read, watch, book a call, buy my offers) it makes me a very successful coach. 

I know how to get peoples attention, keep, make offers in a way that will get them to say yes and then invest in themselves to solve their problem that my coaching solves.

There are tons of coaches out there. 

Really amazing coaches that are educated, licensed, certified, trained and degree’d up…..but they’re broke with no clients. 

They can’t capture someone’s attention let alone sell them their services.

And it has nothing to do with their ability to help clients get transformational results. They can. 

But they can only do that if they can influence a client to buy their program. 

But so many coaches don’t know how. 

So many entrepreneurs don’t know how to. 

Making money as a coach is partially your coaching ability and mostly your capacity to get eyes and ears on your business so that you can then influence people to buy your program. 

It doesn’t matter if you do 1:1, group, an online course, a masterclass, a video training, host workshops, create 5-day challenges, low-ticket, high-ticket. 

There are hundreds of ways to make money online as a coach. 

And we all know that there are a ton of coaches out there that don’t really offer great services or big transformation. 

But the reason they’re so successful is because they know how to get people to buy….take action.  

So if I know how to help people take the action they want and stop doing things that cause them further issues…

And I’m clearly financially successful at it…

Why do I feel so nervous and anxious about sharing clips of me coaching my clients or talking about how to be successful as a coach on my podcast and my YouTube channel?

Three words: I got bullied. 

A little over a year ago in January 2022, I was bullied on Instagram by several therapists and therapists turned coaches. 

I also got bullied when I was in 3rd grade but that’s for another journal entry.

To make it even worse, I was bullied by a specific therapist that was in a very expensive group coaching program I was a student of. 

They wrote hateful, judgmental and accusatory comments and sent me DM’s saying that I shouldn’t do this work. 

They claimed I wasn’t properly or ethically trained and believed I was going to hurt people with my coaching. 

It was extremely traumatizing. 

They preyed on me consistently throughout the month until I finally blocked them and deleted their comments. 

This activated all the insecure parts of me. 

It put me into such a survival response for months. 

It totally shut me down professionally.  I was depressed.

I had so much doubt and fear to coach or create content. 

Something you should know about me. I’ve experienced a lot of judgment, lack of care, scolding and shaming for “mistakes” or inadequacies I’ve displayed as a child and as a teenager. 

I felt bullied as a kid by my family. I know this was absolutely never their intention but I was always anxious and nervous of making a mistake, saying the wrong thing or spilling or breaking something that I felt like every single day I was walking on eggshells.

Then at school I was this super skinny awkward poor girl with ugly clothes from the thrift store.

Kids are cruel sometimes and I felt it when I was 8 years old by classmates that sat behind me and daily said cruel things about me so that I could hear them.

Who am I kidding, I can recall the same types of feelings and experiences in my 20’s. I was super anxious that I would do or say the wrong thing and disappoint everyone.

Because my personality traits, decisions and behaviors have constantly been judged…it’s a very real emotional wound of mine.  

I know this part dearly and I’ve done countless hours of therapy, healing and deep work on these experiences that left me with limiting beliefs that I’m a mistake, I always make mistakes, I’m a liar, I hurt people and I’m not good enough.  

You can see that if I already suffer with keeping these lies at bay, being bullied by strangers online telling me that I wasn’t qualified enough to have or run the business I wholeheartedly believe is one of my life’s purposes, sent me into what felt like an emotional mid-life crisis. 

Entrepreneurship is already tough enough. We all have this negative inner critic judging and scaring us on repeat. 

Those mean voices are so difficult to manage when you’ve never been taught the right tools I have and teach my clients. 

I knew what was happening internally and the bullying and emotional and mental pain still took me out. 

I wanted to quit coaching. 

Or I should say, my inner critic told me to quit coaching. 

I even remember a client of mine had a huge transformation as a result of my support and tools and I couldn’t find the proof or reasons to continue with this work. 

I drank a lot of wine. 

I got a lot of therapy.  

I also reached out to one of my mentors who is a psychotherapist and the director of two therapy centers. She leads and educates therapists that join her center and she essentially retrains them and teaches them experiential therapy models (types that really have effect on behavior and emotion control) like the ones I use in my coaching practice. 

I asked her if she thought I should just go back to college and become a therapist so people would just leave me alone. I felt so defeated and saw more training and going to grad school as the only solution at the moment. 

She literally told me, “You can’t please the haters!! If you’re helping people, that’s all that matters.” 

She knows the training I’ve had, the modalities I’ve learned and who I’ve studied with and mentored under. One of which was someone who she herself had studied with. 

She shared that research has been done on whether degrees matter. Not that phd programs are bad but she believes that they really haven’t figured out how to train people in school.  

She assured me that a good therapist or coach in this line of work isn’t determined by their degrees. Other factors are more important and many of those aren’t taught in school. 

What is taught in school are counteractive forms of therapy like CBT and DBT which create little to no behavior change or relief.

I had CBT therapy and I found no relief or change personally.

Instead of transformational/experiential modalities that are almost NEVER taught in grad school and they’re the ones that create the most change in people! 

She explained that she has so many therapist come to her practice out of grad school and they know nothing about the brain, trauma and she has to completely reeducate them in order for them to be prepared for today’s client needs. 

She agreed that I’ve “been trained by the best minds in our field. You can’t go wrong. You’re not missing anything by not going to grad school.”

She believed that me having done therapy and healing work for my personal childhood stuff was essential and lent itself to my success as a coach.

Her leadership and reassurance was exactly what I needed in that time of total confusion. 

I always hear her voice when my inner critic happens to unexpectedly show up. It quiets down quickly now. 

So you can see….

I’m skilled and trained as a coach. 

I help clients get results. 

I absolutely am obsessed with this industry, healing and behavior change overall.

I know that my next step in business is to add two new programs to my services and both involve helping coaches and entrepreneurs build and scale their businesses with low effort, calmness and earn 6-figures plus every year. 

I have the blueprint on exactly how I did it and my ideas and tips are bursting at the seams to share it all with you. 

Although consciously it’s clear I have all the receipts and skills to do this, those younger parts of me still get terrified to share my ideas publicly after being bullied.  

I keep reminding myself (and them) that it’s safe to be out there and talk about coaching. Graduate degree or not. 

That it’s safe to say anything I want.

I will always get scared to do this. 

I will always be doubtful of my capabilities and knowledge. 

Your younger parts never forget the pain they experienced. They also never forget all the other times they got even more confirmation of it.

There will always be moments where my inner critic tells me to quit coaching cuz it’s too hard. 

I’m working through this in therapy now and have been because I realize its affecting my future business goals genuine desires.

Yesterday I had the best deep painful cry about my fear to show up and my deep need to be wanted by others. I’ll never stop doing this internal work.

Having someone to process and integrate these scared parts of me is essential as an entrepreneur and especially as a coach that leads others. I can’t help others if I’m not doing the work to heal those scared younger parts of me.

But I have to remember that thriving in my career doesn’t mean it’s going to be effortless, fearless and painless. 

I’m so so so proud of myself for not quitting.

To thrive in business means you love yourself fiercely through the moments that feel super scary because it’s that self-love that has the biggest ROI on you, your clients and your income. 

It’s recursive. It builds on itself. It literally makes you like a superhuman over time. 

You become someone that can handle any tough situation and does things scared but with so much compassion and love for yourself throughout the process. 

Or at the very least, you can ask someone for help when you can’t. Mentorship, therapy, coaching and guidance….I could not have gotten through this situation without it.

You deserve to give yourself a career you love.

Imagine how it would feel to have someone that 100% loves, cares for you, sees you and reassures you throughout your career everyday? You can do that for yourself.

And with the right tools and support from others, you can have it.

No matter what happened in your past, you are not them anymore. You’ve grown and evolved. Stop using your past against yourself. Instead, love those younger parts and try and be compassionate with yourself.

Your future can be different. 

Make the ending different this time. 

Cheers to not letting our past define us.

P.s. Hindsight is 20/20. I have clarity on being bullied NOW. But that’s not how it played out in real life. My next business move looked like it took power, strength and courage. And then I completely sabotaged it all. Publicly. It was crazy. I’m sharing that experience next week so stay tuned.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

A few months ago in December ‘22 I had a sales launch for my coaching program Bloom. 

It was super successful (in the world of Anabell and maybe even coaching in general). 

It earned over $100,000+ in revenue. 

Dozens of women joined Bloom and I was really happy since I met my income and member goals.

However…..

I worked my butt off. 

I started planning my launch in October. This entailed strategizing my podcast episodes, videos I shared on social media for the next 60 days and all the specific content that took leads from “cold to sold.”

The official launch began December 6th and my cart closed on December 12th. 

I had over 75 clarity calls scheduled all throughout the month of December and some in January. 

Mind you, this was during the Christmas and New Year holiday season. 

My best friend invited me to go with her to Mexico City to see Bad Bunny in concert but I was so busy that I couldn’t even take 3 days to relax. 

So wack. 

Come January after the launch was over I found myself not wanting to make videos, podcast episodes or posts on social media. 

Nothing. 

I felt so shut down energetically. 

I almost felt resentful with my followers and listeners…as if they were putting pressure on me to post. 

I was indignant about taking 3 months off after a “successful launch.”

During January I had a new open schedule with no more 1:1 clients, just group. 

I had less things on my calendar and I still felt super tired. 

I also had this nonstop feeling of wanting to be alone and not show up to be with others. 

So let me explain what happened here. 

After reflecting on what worked and what didn’t work in my launch… as well as looking at my lifestyle needs and goals…..

 I realized that the hustle of live launching and hosting live sales calls was completely contradictory to my personal goals as a woman and mother. 

It went completely against what I teach in Bloom which is… you can do less and have exponentially more. 

The point of me starting Bloom was to scale my coaching business. 

I had such a big demand on my services that I had to find a way to make my coaching accessible and available to everyone that needed my help. 

Going from 1:1 to group was the way to do it. Otherwise it would take me 40 years to coach everyone on my waiting list. 

So although I finally was able to start Bloom last summer, I was still in this hustley mentality and behavior in the sales part of my business. 

It was abundantly clear that I couldn’t go on with a sales system like I had done the full two years prior. 

Let me be really clear.  

There was nothing “wrong” with this launching method. 

It worked. 

I sold out every single quarter and earned hundreds of thousands every year.  

However, for this point in my life and career…it wasn’t right for me. 

I had to find another way to not let my business interfere with my role as a single mother and hopefully as a wife in the near future. 

I reminded myself, “I don’t live to work. I work to live.”

My business is what I do in order to support the beautiful life that I’ve created. 

I needed to be able to have slow mornings with my girls so we could have breakfast, chat, make their lunches together and take them to school. 

It was important I pick them up from school each day at 1:15 or 2:45 pm. (Mondays are minimum days for Juliette and Penelope). 

My evenings needed to be free to rest, date and simply be present for my family and for a man in my life. 

I never used to rest. I never took vacations. I never used “sick days” when I had a job. 

I would work my butt off and only when I was burnt out or made a big mistake at work that I wanted to hide from afterwards would I take a day off. 

I always worked from a place of scarcity.  A place of fear.  A place of production to look cool and successful.   

After doing all the work myself that I now teach my coaching clients that all that overworking which I called “being a boss” or “hustle” was really just a big ol trauma response I learned because I never had a safe and secure home. 

My parents didn’t provide stability or consistency in money or home. 

We moved every year and never had enough of anything. 

So I learned to work hard at a young age. I got a job my senior year in high school and never looked back. 

Although I wanted to be a good kind and loving mother that listened, cooked, cared and played with her kids, I had no idea what that even looked like. 

All I got was my mom, depressed and anxious, hiding in her bedroom watching novelas all day. 

She never worked. She lived off the welfare system because she was so mentally and emotionally ill she coudn’t work. The only attention I got was when she yelled at us for bothering her. 

I never wanted that so instead I worked worked worked. (Not that that was any healthier.) 

Now that I’m 43 and I’ve addressed so many of my painful memories and learned behaviors, I know better than to work too much and not be present for my girls. 

Money doesn’t create safety in children. Presence, focused attention and love does. 

I also realized that whenever I rest, I get the best ideas and insights about my clients needs. 

I get most inspired about content creation ideas when I’m watching a fun movie, reading a fiction novel, going to church, reading The Bible, listening to music or spending time talking to my girlfriends, sisters or being on a date!

Good rest definitely creates great work. 

I show up happier and more energized for my clients after thinking about them all week. 

I make the best podcasts, videos and journal entries when I’ve had true downtime away from my desk. 

Rest recharges you. 

Rest refuels you. 

Rest inspires creativity. 

Rest makes you miss people. 

Rest gives you space to think your own thoughts. 

Make sure you’re not just listening to books, podcasts, instagram posts and youtube videos and call it rest. 

Shut off from social and tech. 

Notice if you never take a vacation for actual relaxation. 

Notice where you’re beating yourself up if you take an hour lunch to actually eat and rest away from your desk.

Notice if the only time you take work off is to run errands and go to doctor appointments. 

Stop doing that. It will catch up to you and won’t be pretty when it does. 

You need real rest. You need to hear your own internal parts speak to you. Otherwise you never have your own ideas and you’re just copying others. 

My 30 minute walk around my neighborhood is so valuable to me. It’s when God gives me the best ideas. 

I had to have a physically exhausting launch to learn that I didn’t want to do that again. But many people wouldn’t have gotten that message. They wouldn’t justified the means to the end. “Well I made $100k. Who cares if I shut down completely for 3 months. It’s worth it.”

I’m not here to survive anymore.  I want to thrive. 

I’m lucky I saw the lies in hustle culture. Its unhealthy and further embeds maladaptive behaviors like performing, producing and pleasing others. 

Sometimes you need a burn out to get lit up again. 

Sometimes you need to receive a lot to see it’s too much. 

I want to help thousands of people with my coaching but never at the expense of my physical, emotional or mental health. 

Never at the expense of my relationship with my children. 

Your work should support your life.  

Especially if you’re reading this and you’re an entrepreneur. 

Don’t leave your 9 to 5 and build yourself a job. 

What’s the point of that?

Make a career that fits the best lifestyle you want. 

Because it’s only when you have space and freedom to breathe and actually enjoy the fruits of your labor that you can actually bring your best self to your labor. 

Good rest creates great work. Always. 

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

Last week my car needed $2k worth of service and repairs….

4 new tires

New brakes

Oil change 

Windshield repair

I knew this months ago. 

I could hear my brakes screeching. I saw my tires were balding. The repair light was on my dashboard saying it needed fluids. 

I avoided it for months.

I didn’t know how much it was going to be. 

The thought of spending thousands of dollars stressed me out. I didn’t want to use my money on “car stuff.” 

I was indignant about it too. Like, “I shouldn’t have to pay for this. A man should do this for me. If I had a man, I wouldn’t need to repair my car and pay for it.” 

Sounded crazy.  And stupid.  And totally wrong. 

But it felt true to me. 

Finally after months of seeing the repair light on my car, I scheduled an appointment with my car repair dude. Mechanic? Is that what they call them? Lol

After they checked the whole car, they gave me a quote for repairs.

I ubered to a local Starbucks coffee shop to work while they evaluated my car. 

About an hour later, the mechanic calls me and says the total cost for all the repairs will be just under $2,000.00.

He also explained that if I paid in cash, he’d drop the price $100. 

I told him to do the work and I’d be there with cash. 

I wanted to save the $100. 

Here’s what I want to point out. 

It was so easy for me to understand and feel the value of paying $2k for repairs and saving $100 if I paid cash. 

Not only that. 

I actually had the money to spend on the car. 

This has never happened before. 

Anabell circa my 20’s, every time I’ve had car repairs, it always required me to spend money I didn’t even have.  

I never had a savings account. I mean, I had one but it never had money in it. 

I never made enough to cover all my bills as well as have extra to save from each paycheck. 

Never. 

Unexpected expenses like car repairs always forced me to leave some essential bills unpaid.

Water bill. 

Electricity. 

Car payment. 

Something. 

No, I never had money in savings to pull it from. 

Are you kidding?

I wish! 

But today I do.  

Why am I sharing this story with you?

Because of 2 points. 

History repeats itself. 

You’re like, “Yeah Anabell. We all know this.”

But do you?

20 years ago I was a single mom like I am today.  

20 years ago I had a job. I have a job today.

20 years ago I had bills to pay. I still have bills. 

20 years ago unexpected things happen that require money to cover them. 

Today, things still happen that require me to pay for unexpectedly. 

But the reason I’m able to easily handle things today is because I have a career that provides me a substantial income to handle big expenses AND take advantage of opportunities like saving money if I pay in full (or this case, in cash.)

I can afford most things now that I was never able to afford. 

A nice and beautiful home in a safe gated community in the top school district for my daughters. 

When I go grocery shopping I don’t have to look at prices. I shop based on my desires and priorities which are health. 

I shop for clothes when I want. 

If I wanted to go on vacation for the next 5 days, I have a career that totally allows me the freedom to do that. 

I even have the kind of relationship with my ex-husband that offers me support I need to take an impromptu getaway. He has my back and I have his. 

I have the energy, physical and emotional health and confidence to be in a two piece bikini on a beach tomorrow and feel and look great. (Mind you, I’m 43 years old and have carried and naturally birthed 3 babies full term.)

I have the mental and cognitive capacity to think logically and plan and prioritize things of importance and easily take action fast.  

Life keeps happening decade after decade. 

I would offer that a lot of the same things in life keep happening. 

You will always need money to pay for your life expenses. 

Sadly, people will get sick or injured. 

Unfortunately, people will pass away. 

People breakup in relationships. 

You will get a job, change a job or lose a job. 

You will have babies or new puppies. 

You will move houses or cities or states. 

Your kids will grow up and you’ll get older. 

And last but not least, your car will need regular maintenance like new tires, oil changes and other repairs.

Someone would say that these are all “bad things” but I disagree. 

They are all simply things that require your resources. 

They require your time, effort or money. 

But if you feel you don’t have enough of these resources, when “bad things happen”, you will believe they’re bad because you don’t have what it takes to handle them. 

If in your past, when something bad happened you never felt equipped to handle the circumstance and someone else had to bail you out, it makes sense that you feel like any unexpected thing is a setback.

That’s so fair.

So let’s think about it.

If I don’t love myself or know my value….and a man cheats or breaks up with me unexpectedly….I will view this circumstance as bad. 

But because I KNOW and believe that I am infinitely valuable, I know that someone’s actions do not define me or my worth, I will confidently leave a relationship where a man disrespects me with infidelity or be understanding when he chooses to leave for his reasons. 

So I ask you ….

How will your perspective and position allow you to approach and respond to things in a healthier and more confident way as history continues to repeat itself?

Will you react in the same way you did 20 years ago or 10 years ago?

Or are you healthier now and can handle the great roller coaster we call life?

I 100% attribute my ability to have money, a great career, offer big service to the world, an abundance of time freedom, healthy relationships, stable emotions, self-confidence, and my ability to think well all because I have focused the last few years on healing my brain and body from the effects of my past. 

I found and removed deep hidden limiting beliefs from my subconscious that were blocking me from having everything listed above. (I find new ones at every new level of growth and I’m able to easily identify them and remove those roadblocks with ease.)

I invested in myself to learn the skills that helped me create and maintain a beautiful life and body that I’m excited to wake up every single day. 

Yes, these are skills. 

The only reason you don’t feel the way I feel and do the things I’m able to do today is because you haven’t learned or mastered the skills I have and teach my clients. 

You were shown and taught a different way…a limiting way to handle stress and perceived setbacks.

You can have the valuable resources of time, energy and money by the truckloads. 

You simply have to clean up your internal system and remove all the negative effects that unhealthy relationships, poverty mindset, and societal norms have left on you. 

You’re walking around with belief systems that are keeping you from love, money, service, confidence, freedom, purpose, peace and fun. 

My coaching program Bloom teaches you these skills. 

Everything I’ve done to change for the good and healthy…I teach you exactly how to do it in this group. 

It’s the best and profitable investment you’ll make in your life. 

Not only does it change the effects your past had on you, it changes the way you think, feel and behave today….but it adjusts your future perspective to believe that “things in life happen”….

They’re not good or bad.  They just are. 

And you’ll believe that when they do, you are fully equipped to handle them confidently. 

I invite you to learn more about Bloom. Click here to learn about it and join me and all the other women changing their lives.  

I write this and and I will always believe it….You deserve to have a life that’s calm and easy.

You deserve to believe that you have the ability to handle anything that happens.

If I can do it, so can you.

You just have to remove the beliefs that make you think you can’t.

I’m ready when you are.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

It was my second full year in business as a coach and I was broke.

I was living with my sister in her condo.

Me, my three daughters, in one room and on one bed.

I had no other income.

I wanted to coach full time and it was feeling tough.

No one could afford it.

The pandemic hit people hard. And here I was trying to launch a coaching business.

But I knew I had to start a new chapter in my life.

I was divorcing my husband and had to get out of real estate industry.

I had done it for 12 years and I was done.

I didn’t have my own home. I was living with my twin sister giving her whatever money I could afford each month.

I was so tired of worrying and stressing about money and what my life was gonna look like post divorce.

I got whatever money I had and bought a $2k business coaching program.

It felt like I spent a million dollars. It seemed crazy at the time but I had a deep feeling that it was gonna help me.

My coach started the program by having me get clear on my ideal client.

It made no sense why she as having me talk about my client when it was me she should be helping.

After I got clear on who I was helping (back then I worked with men and women that wanted to heal their trauma), I began asking myself this question over and over.

“How can I get my clients bigger results faster?”

This caused me to focus on my current client to the point of obsession.

I focused on my clients results. Period.

I thought about them day and night.

I studied what they all had in common.

I learned their fears, needs, pain points and deep desires.

I added tools and resources that helped them when they weren’t in session with me.

I studied what modalities would create the biggest transformation.

I learned what they had done before, hadn’t worked and why.

What happened?

It was almost as if God would constantly download ideas and resources on how to help them and how to make more money.

I would read exactly the right book with the perfect solution to one of my client’s issues.

This happened over and over.
 

It made me feel more confident as a coach.  

Helped me sell better.

I attracted more clients because I was in so much certainty about my ability to get them results.

Clients felt that and they hired me. Over and over again.

I got referrals.

And I made 5 times as much money that year.

All because I focused on who I served.

I didn’t think about me or my bank account.

I asked what they needed. Not me.

The old Anabell would only worry about bills, rent, money, fear.

Only think about herself and her needs.

My focus used to be only on my survival.

It was only when I got my mind focused on my clients solution….that it became my solution.

Their success became mine.

Their healing became mine.

If you’re a coach, entrepreneur, employee, manager, stay at home mom, teacher….whatever you do..

Whoever you serve….ask yourself….

How can I get my _________ bigger results? Faster results?

Ask yourself this everyday.

And notice what you start having ideas about. Notice what books you desire reading.

Notice how you show up differently.

When you focus on a solution instead of the problem….life changes.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

Why isn’t that knowledge translating into action?

Feel like you just wanna lay on your couch, watch the new episode of Shrinking on Apple TV instead?

Why aren’t the podcast interviews you heard last week helping you change your bad habits this week?

1. Because what you consume doesn’t always convert to changed behavior.

Let’s be honest.

If it did, we’d all be fit, wealthy and married to our soulmate.

We all know how to be healthy, rich and in love… but most of us can’t apply the knowledge. Why?

2. Your brain tells your body what to do.

When the brain and body are working optimally, they are separate but connected.

They function independent of one another and they work well together, sending each other data. Also referred to as differentiation and linkage.

3. Your brain sends thoughts and ideas. Your body sends emotions. #data

Both forms of data are information that tell the other what to do next.

For example, anger can tell the brain to defend itself against a thief. A business idea can be used to tell the body what strategy to act on.

4. But you can’t use this data if the brain & body aren’t linked.

In order to access this amazing knowledge you’re learning from your fave entrepreneurs and mentors, your brain & body gotta be sending and receiving at a high level.

Knowledge used is knowledge that is accessible.

Conversely, knowledge that isn’t applied is knowledge that isn’t being properly sent down to the body to put into action. So why does this happen?

5. You learned to stay in your brain or stay in your body.

You typically fall into one of two camps.

Your brain taught you it’s best to overthink, analyze and control your life. Or, your body taught you to focus on how you feel and how others feel in order to get what you need.

6. You need your brain to think. You need your body to take action.

Neither is more important than the other.

They’re each essential. But you need to be using both your brain and body at the same time in order to actually use your knowledge.

7. Do you favor your brain or body more?

If so, switch it up.

Notice if you’re someone who loves to learn, plan and strategize…but applying the knowledge feels hard (or impossible) to do.

Notice if you’re always doing things but they aren’t strategic or converting into the intended result.

Try your hardest to do the opposite.

Start slow & small.

What truly helps and creates more linkage between your brain and body so they’re communicating well?

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

Have you ever received those “memories” posts from Facebook where they show you what you posted last year or 5 years ago today?

I get them all the time and last week I got one that hit a little different.

They sent me a video of my 8 year old daughter Juliette who was a year old in the video.

She was no more than 1.5 years old and she was helping my oldest daughter, Alyssa, empty out the dryer and put clean clothes in a laundry basket. She loved it more than a person should.

She was happy every time she touched a warm and soft piece of clothing.

Then she saw one of Alyssa’s bras and said “Oh coochie coos!”

Alyssa could not stop laughing. Neither could Juliette.

Juliette said it over and over again. “Your coochie coos. Your coochie coos!”

She waved the bra around and they both laughed hysterically.

Now…the video was so cute but it reminded me that a 1 year old already knew about mental concepts, predictions and emotions.

What the what?

Allow me to explain.

As her mama, I embarrassingly referred to boobs as “coochie coos.”

I’m the kind of mom that changes in front of my kids at home, walks around naked in my bedroom and bathroom or in my bra and underwear. All the things.

Sorry if that’s TMI but you ladies know it’s a total vibe.

The freedom!

Anyway…..what fascinated me about Juliette was that at 1 year of age, when she saw a bra in the laundry basket…she knew that a bra covered coochie coos and called a bra by the same name.

The mind is so freaking efficient.

What it reminded me of was how the brain makes correlations quick and naturally. Especially if its exposed to something a few times.

Let’s be clear, I don’t walk around with my shirt off or talk about boobs to my then baby.

Heck, I didn’t even breastfeed her.

So she didn’t see boobs and bras all the time.

So all it took was a few experiences with me wearing a bra or seeing me change my clothes and her mind understood that they go together.

Bras and boobs.  

Here’s where I get a little nerdier so hold tight.

Juliette saw a bra in a laundry basket and still understood it was for boobs. (that sentence is so weird and I can’t believe I’m writing to you about breasts but I swear I have a point.)

The mind/brain uses concepts and categories its learned about and makes thoughts, behaviors and predictions based on them.

Philosophers and scientists define a category as:  a collection of objects, events or actions that are grouped together as equivalent for some purpose.

They define a concept as: a mental representation of a category.

Traditionally, categories are supposed to exist in the world 

while concepts exist in your head.

For example, you have a concept of the color red.

When you apply this concept to wavelengths of light to perceive a red rose in a park, that red color is an instance of the category red.

Your brain downplays the differences between the members of a category such as the different shades of red roses in a botanical garden to consider those members as red too.

Your brain also magnifies differences between members and non-members….say red versus pink roses, so that you perceive firm boundaries between them.

Imagine you’re walking down a street in your city or town with a brain full of mental concepts.

You see many objects all at once. Flowers, trees, houses, dogs, birds, bees.

You see people walking, moving their bodies and faces.

You hear sounds and smell different scents.

Your brain puts this information together to perceive concepts like…

Children playing in a park…

A person gardening.

An old couple holding hands on a bench.

You create your experience of these objects, actions and events by categorizing using concepts.

Your ever predicting brain uses sensory input asking, “Which of my concepts is this like?”

Kids running, laughing and playing on equipment in a field of grass creates the concept “children playing in a park.”

There are variations of categories but your brain puts firm boundaries around what is or isn’t part of that concept.

If there was a big building with lots of classrooms near the grass, then the concept you might use is “kids at recess.”

Totally different concept, right?

You see…. go through life making inferences about things based on subconscious concepts and categories.

Ok so back to Juliette…

There were lots of shirts, jeans and sweaters in that same laundry basket but she never said “coochie coo” when she saw them.

Her concept of coochie coo didn’t involve shirts or sweaters even though they touch boobs and lay above them just as a bra does.

Interesting.

Shirts and sweaters are in a category all their own. Maybe around “clothes”.

And to think that at not more than 18 months in this world, her little brain and mind already made inferences about items, body parts and how she felt about them.

She knew a bra held and covered this unique physical feature that mom had and she clearly associated it with laughter and intrigue.

She could’ve just as easily felt scared when she saw the bra, cried and ran away. 

But she didn’t based on her concepts of that object and category.

Whenever she saw my bras, me wearing a bra or me without a shirt, she always laughed and asked what boobs were. We would always laugh and so now she associated them with laughter, mom, fun. 

You see….things happen in your life, you gain information from it and you take it with you. 

Always. 

You access those concepts automatically when you see the something that properly fits the category.

When you see the thing again, your mind will tell you what to do since it already has stored information, concepts, predictions and so on.

You may think you’re just walking through life but you’re actually using your stored past knowledge, memories, feelings and thoughts to:

• Make predictions about what will happen here
• What to do
• How that thing will benefit (or negatively cost you)

You do this when you meet someone, buy something, make a decision, feel a feeling, are offered something new and so on.

Your past informs and heavily influences how you feel about something today and in the future. 

Your deep subconscious mental concepts tell you

• how to feel
• what to think
• how to react and
• what meaning to give something

If you don’t like how you’re thinking, feeling, behaving and making assumptions and meanings of things and people…..

and worse….

if you feel as if you don’t have control over changing these 4 important behaviors…

You have foundational beliefs (concepts and categories) that need adjusting, aligning….changing to fit the person you are today.  

If you’re reacting to things defensively, ambivalently or with fear, anger, anxiety and you consciously know that they don’t merit that kind of a response, then you have deep mental concepts that are affecting you today.

They are limiting your ability to show up in the world the way YOU want to be.

“I know better but I never do it.”

“I have the strategy, why don’t I take action?”

“He’s so not good for me. Why do I stay?”

Those are the things I hear most often from women every time we chat in a Clarity Call or in the DMs.

They’re frustrated, embarrassed, guilty and shameful. 

You have deep subconscious mental concepts that are guiding your reactions to the people and world around you.

And unless you know what’s down there, understand why it got there and finally remove it…. you’ll never be able to have the life you want.

You’ll always be driven by the mental concepts you learned way back when and are now causing you to stay stuck or move towards all the wrong things.

There’s nothing worse than not living up to your own full potential.

Watching everyone else live.

Watching them win while you’re sitting on the sidelines.

It’s time you chose something different.

Cuz guess what? 

People are safe.

The world is kind and supportive.

Some things feel tough at first, but it gets really easy and beautiful. 

Don’t let your old concepts ruin your chance for a great summer ‘23. 

You deserve it. 

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

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