In this episode, I share the 6 questions to ask yourself to find out what triggers your self protective behavior.
Overcoming Self Abandonment and Movingto Self Leadership/Connection
First is to learn what your patterns are. Ask Yourself and write thesedown:
1. What patterns am I repeating that are unhealthy or unsatisfying? Whatcreates shame? (Ex. breaking up with people, not committing, notlistening to my intuition, when I’m inpatient with my family.)
2. What pattern does this remind me of in my childhood? What did yousee modeled for you in childhood? (Mom ran away/shut down, dad wasan alcoholic or overworked, etc. )
3. What are the behaviors that I automatically do? (hide and/or hustle)look at page 2 for examples that may prompt you. List all that apply toyou. You may have many in each category.
4. What are the situations or experiences that bring up this overfunctioning? (Triggers) ex. Intimacy, work, when I have to be vulnerableemotionally and physically or verbally, when I feel rejected, when I think Ican fail or did fail, when I have to say no or set a boundary, when I have toask for something, loneliness, feeling abandoned, when I have to admitI’m wrong, physical intimacy, when I have to do something hard or new,when I feel I’m gonna let someone down or hurt them.)
5. What beliefs have I attached to those behaviors? (ex. I’ll never get love.I’m not worthy. I’m a bad person. I’m not smart. I’m responsible for others.My needs don’t matter. I’ll never be able to provide for myself financially.etc.)
6. What changes do I want to make? What behaviors am I learning to holdmyself accountable for with love, so I can access my wounds & heal them?(Examples: speak up, set boundaries, start receiving, start my business,have a healthy relationship, be more vulnerable, share my emotions,connect with others, practice self leadership/ connection, listen and act onmy intuition, live my own life, say no, say yes, make offers, lose weight,buy a home, save money, spend money better, make more money.)