In my last journal entry you learned that men and women fall in love differently, typically at different speeds and require different chemical reactions/feelings to occur in order to get them to feel like they found that special someone.
In this journal entry I’m going to share the actual phases a man needs to go through that create those specific neurotransmitters that lead him from meeting to mating. So let’s get to it.
The 3 Stages To Love
- Physical Attraction
- Emotional Attraction
- Bonding
Physical Attraction
You’re having cocktails with your girlfriends at a new french restaurant and you spot a handsome dark haired man in a suit standing by the bar with his work colleague. Your eyes meet and physical attraction and desire begin. You feel all tingly inside. When a man spots a woman he’s attracted to, he gets a jolt of testosterone. This flips the switch on his “pursuit spot” in his hypothalamus in his brain.
This area of a man’s brain is responsible for sexual response and activation of male sexual behavior. This little structure says, “oh yeah, go get her” then sends instructions to his feet to start moving in her direction. Think of testosterone as the hormone that causes a man to press on the gas and drive towards what he’s attracted to you. To put it simply: attraction creates testosterone = action.
Emotional Attraction
You excuse yourself to the ladies room and he notices. Opportunity strikes for him and he decides to approach you on your way out and into the bar. You’re surprised but flattered and our friend dopamine, the feel good hormone, begins surging in each of you during the witty flirting you’re having.
Before the night ends, he confidently asks you for your number and you begin communicating via text and phone calls in the days that follow. Dopamine explodes in each of you every time your phones buzz and during your first date. Friday night comes along and you feel moments of connection, fun, and intrigue during the conversation you have and what you see and feel between one another. As you’re getting to know and trust one another, your reward circuit gives you bursts of oxytocin and you each begin liking one another a lot more.
Emotional Attraction Continues…
The courting process continues and he leads and you follow with your feminine energy. He’s intrigued and the refreshing change keeps the feel good dopamine pumping through his veins. Tons of attraction. This creates more testosterone and keeps him asking you out week after week and then month after month. You let him love you and give to you so he feels like he’s needed and this makes him feel successful.
You’re becoming closer and as you’re getting to trust one another more, oxytocin and dopamine are at an all time high for you. You’ve had conversations about the future and he knows you want marriage and he wants that too someday.
Bonding
Spending a lot of time together has truly bonded you. None of that surface level stuff here. Vasopressin is definitely present for him. Some normal disagreements have occurred but you two have communicated effectively and solved every issue.
As time is going by, he feels respected by you and you feel truly loved by him. He sees you more and more as the Kobe to his Shaq and because you’re not putting pressure on him to commit, he feels even more eager to lock things down. Although he’s nervous about being exclusive, he doesn’t want anyone else to have you so he asks you to be his girlfriend. With time, he’s clear you’re someone he could see as his wife.
The 3 Stages Explained
Physical attraction is essential for him to be attracted and testosterone to be present. When he’s attracted, he gets testosterone and he pursues you.
Emotional attraction is where dating takes place and where men experience your feminine energy that gets each of you into your heart and out of your heads. When he’s with you, it’s exciting and you’re feminine, the dopamine and testosterone keep flowing. This is the most important stage men need in order to know if they can love you, lead you and provide for you. Men can only fall in love when they access their emotions and they can only access theirs when you first access yours. Femininity is a must.
Bonding occurs when he’s sexually attracted to you, you’re connecting and communicating well together, he feels respected and able to give to you and sees you as a teammate he can get the “championship with”, vasopressin is present and creates a true bond between you and him.
Falling in love happens after a man bonds with a woman, he doesn’t want anyone else to have her, and he makes the relationship official and commits.
A man will only commit to something he feels confident he can succeed at. In other words, he only commits to something now that he can remain committed to for the long term.
For Part 1 on Why Men & Women Fall In Love VERY Differently click here.
Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him.
Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!
Let’s Connect
If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!
Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.
Learn How To Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here and Join my mini course here.
Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!
Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset. Click here to subscribe.
Follow me on instagram by clicking here.
Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here.
