How Online Bullying Almost Made Me Quit Coaching

Hi, I’m Anabell, and I’m obsessed with all things Jesus & womanhood.

I help women master their God-given feminine design so they can be the woman, wife, and mother God created you to be. 

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I coach coaches but  I’ve been scared to tell you ….

There is nothing more I want to do than to share my knowledge about how to coach and the how-tos of starting and scaling a successful coaching business. 

Some of you may or may not know that I’ve earned well over half a million dollars as a coach in just the past 2 years in business. 

With deep respect and pride I believe I’m really good at helping people change their behaviors, thoughts and emotions as well as being really good at business. 

(Honestly, I think I’m better at business than I am coaching. No shade to my coaching part. lol)

Don’t get it twisted, boo. I deliver fully on my promise for my coaching programs. 

However, I genuinely believe that the reason I’m really successful at making a lot of money as a coach is because……

I’m great at applied science. 

What the freak is that?

Applied science is a discipline that is used to apply existing scientific knowledge to develop more practical applications, for example: technology or inventions. 

Naval said it perfectly, “Society, business & money are downstream of technology, which is itself downstream of science. Science applied is the engine of humanity.”

A more specific example: I follow this awesome plastic surgeon on instagram named Dr. Amir Karam. He does these facelifts on women that help them look way younger without that weird cat lady look. 

He has applied his skill as a surgeon and his knowledge in human anatomy, but specifically the muscles, nerves and skin on the face, to create these two procedures called Vertical Prevent and Vertical Restore that help women stay looking youthful for a lot longer. 

I’m sure there are thousands of ways to lift a face. (ugh that just sounds painful). But he applied his knowledge in the human body and how it ages to create a surgical procedure and technique that gives women a more natural and long lasting youthful appearance. 

And I bet he makes millions of dollars a year doing it. 

So back to the coaching biz. 

Because I’ve studied, researched and been trained in human behavior, the mind, nervous system, how to change it, and how  and why people take very specific actions (click, open, read, watch, book a call, buy my offers) it makes me a very successful coach. 

I know how to get peoples attention, keep, make offers in a way that will get them to say yes and then invest in themselves to solve their problem that my coaching solves.

There are tons of coaches out there. 

Really amazing coaches that are educated, licensed, certified, trained and degree’d up…..but they’re broke with no clients. 

They can’t capture someone’s attention let alone sell them their services.

And it has nothing to do with their ability to help clients get transformational results. They can. 

But they can only do that if they can influence a client to buy their program. 

But so many coaches don’t know how. 

So many entrepreneurs don’t know how to. 

Making money as a coach is partially your coaching ability and mostly your capacity to get eyes and ears on your business so that you can then influence people to buy your program. 

It doesn’t matter if you do 1:1, group, an online course, a masterclass, a video training, host workshops, create 5-day challenges, low-ticket, high-ticket. 

There are hundreds of ways to make money online as a coach. 

And we all know that there are a ton of coaches out there that don’t really offer great services or big transformation. 

But the reason they’re so successful is because they know how to get people to buy….take action.  

So if I know how to help people take the action they want and stop doing things that cause them further issues…

And I’m clearly financially successful at it…

Why do I feel so nervous and anxious about sharing clips of me coaching my clients or talking about how to be successful as a coach on my podcast and my YouTube channel?

Three words: I got bullied. 

A little over a year ago in January 2022, I was bullied on Instagram by several therapists and therapists turned coaches. 

I also got bullied when I was in 3rd grade but that’s for another journal entry.

To make it even worse, I was bullied by a specific therapist that was in a very expensive group coaching program I was a student of. 

They wrote hateful, judgmental and accusatory comments and sent me DM’s saying that I shouldn’t do this work. 

They claimed I wasn’t properly or ethically trained and believed I was going to hurt people with my coaching. 

It was extremely traumatizing. 

They preyed on me consistently throughout the month until I finally blocked them and deleted their comments. 

This activated all the insecure parts of me. 

It put me into such a survival response for months. 

It totally shut me down professionally.  I was depressed.

I had so much doubt and fear to coach or create content. 

Something you should know about me. I’ve experienced a lot of judgment, lack of care, scolding and shaming for “mistakes” or inadequacies I’ve displayed as a child and as a teenager. 

I felt bullied as a kid by my family. I know this was absolutely never their intention but I was always anxious and nervous of making a mistake, saying the wrong thing or spilling or breaking something that I felt like every single day I was walking on eggshells.

Then at school I was this super skinny awkward poor girl with ugly clothes from the thrift store.

Kids are cruel sometimes and I felt it when I was 8 years old by classmates that sat behind me and daily said cruel things about me so that I could hear them.

Who am I kidding, I can recall the same types of feelings and experiences in my 20’s. I was super anxious that I would do or say the wrong thing and disappoint everyone.

Because my personality traits, decisions and behaviors have constantly been judged…it’s a very real emotional wound of mine.  

I know this part dearly and I’ve done countless hours of therapy, healing and deep work on these experiences that left me with limiting beliefs that I’m a mistake, I always make mistakes, I’m a liar, I hurt people and I’m not good enough.  

You can see that if I already suffer with keeping these lies at bay, being bullied by strangers online telling me that I wasn’t qualified enough to have or run the business I wholeheartedly believe is one of my life’s purposes, sent me into what felt like an emotional mid-life crisis. 

Entrepreneurship is already tough enough. We all have this negative inner critic judging and scaring us on repeat. 

Those mean voices are so difficult to manage when you’ve never been taught the right tools I have and teach my clients. 

I knew what was happening internally and the bullying and emotional and mental pain still took me out. 

I wanted to quit coaching. 

Or I should say, my inner critic told me to quit coaching. 

I even remember a client of mine had a huge transformation as a result of my support and tools and I couldn’t find the proof or reasons to continue with this work. 

I drank a lot of wine. 

I got a lot of therapy.  

I also reached out to one of my mentors who is a psychotherapist and the director of two therapy centers. She leads and educates therapists that join her center and she essentially retrains them and teaches them experiential therapy models (types that really have effect on behavior and emotion control) like the ones I use in my coaching practice. 

I asked her if she thought I should just go back to college and become a therapist so people would just leave me alone. I felt so defeated and saw more training and going to grad school as the only solution at the moment. 

She literally told me, “You can’t please the haters!! If you’re helping people, that’s all that matters.” 

She knows the training I’ve had, the modalities I’ve learned and who I’ve studied with and mentored under. One of which was someone who she herself had studied with. 

She shared that research has been done on whether degrees matter. Not that phd programs are bad but she believes that they really haven’t figured out how to train people in school.  

She assured me that a good therapist or coach in this line of work isn’t determined by their degrees. Other factors are more important and many of those aren’t taught in school. 

What is taught in school are counteractive forms of therapy like CBT and DBT which create little to no behavior change or relief.

I had CBT therapy and I found no relief or change personally.

Instead of transformational/experiential modalities that are almost NEVER taught in grad school and they’re the ones that create the most change in people! 

She explained that she has so many therapist come to her practice out of grad school and they know nothing about the brain, trauma and she has to completely reeducate them in order for them to be prepared for today’s client needs. 

She agreed that I’ve “been trained by the best minds in our field. You can’t go wrong. You’re not missing anything by not going to grad school.”

She believed that me having done therapy and healing work for my personal childhood stuff was essential and lent itself to my success as a coach.

Her leadership and reassurance was exactly what I needed in that time of total confusion. 

I always hear her voice when my inner critic happens to unexpectedly show up. It quiets down quickly now. 

So you can see….

I’m skilled and trained as a coach. 

I help clients get results. 

I absolutely am obsessed with this industry, healing and behavior change overall.

I know that my next step in business is to add two new programs to my services and both involve helping coaches and entrepreneurs build and scale their businesses with low effort, calmness and earn 6-figures plus every year. 

I have the blueprint on exactly how I did it and my ideas and tips are bursting at the seams to share it all with you. 

Although consciously it’s clear I have all the receipts and skills to do this, those younger parts of me still get terrified to share my ideas publicly after being bullied.  

I keep reminding myself (and them) that it’s safe to be out there and talk about coaching. Graduate degree or not. 

That it’s safe to say anything I want.

I will always get scared to do this. 

I will always be doubtful of my capabilities and knowledge. 

Your younger parts never forget the pain they experienced. They also never forget all the other times they got even more confirmation of it.

There will always be moments where my inner critic tells me to quit coaching cuz it’s too hard. 

I’m working through this in therapy now and have been because I realize its affecting my future business goals genuine desires.

Yesterday I had the best deep painful cry about my fear to show up and my deep need to be wanted by others. I’ll never stop doing this internal work.

Having someone to process and integrate these scared parts of me is essential as an entrepreneur and especially as a coach that leads others. I can’t help others if I’m not doing the work to heal those scared younger parts of me.

But I have to remember that thriving in my career doesn’t mean it’s going to be effortless, fearless and painless. 

I’m so so so proud of myself for not quitting.

To thrive in business means you love yourself fiercely through the moments that feel super scary because it’s that self-love that has the biggest ROI on you, your clients and your income. 

It’s recursive. It builds on itself. It literally makes you like a superhuman over time. 

You become someone that can handle any tough situation and does things scared but with so much compassion and love for yourself throughout the process. 

Or at the very least, you can ask someone for help when you can’t. Mentorship, therapy, coaching and guidance….I could not have gotten through this situation without it.

You deserve to give yourself a career you love.

Imagine how it would feel to have someone that 100% loves, cares for you, sees you and reassures you throughout your career everyday? You can do that for yourself.

And with the right tools and support from others, you can have it.

No matter what happened in your past, you are not them anymore. You’ve grown and evolved. Stop using your past against yourself. Instead, love those younger parts and try and be compassionate with yourself.

Your future can be different. 

Make the ending different this time. 

Cheers to not letting our past define us.

P.s. Hindsight is 20/20. I have clarity on being bullied NOW. But that’s not how it played out in real life. My next business move looked like it took power, strength and courage. And then I completely sabotaged it all. Publicly. It was crazy. I’m sharing that experience next week so stay tuned.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

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Hi, I’m Anabell, and I’m obsessed with all things behavioral change.

I help women remove mental blocks and limiting beliefs so you can stop procrastinating and finally be the confident feminine woman you truly desire to be.

the journal


Get my private weekly email full of real client stories (and mine), real transformation & the real how-to tools to thrive in home & business.

This form will subscribe you to our email list, You may unsubscribe at any time, though doing so means we cannot contact you about any future events, programs or sales. 

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