Humans aren’t naturally rational.

Which means when it comes to taking action…You don’t automatically go towards logical or analytical thinking and you’ll always be more inclined to use your instinctive and pleasure-seeking desire first.

This is normal but almost always not helpful when it comes to reaching your goal.

Why?

Because most goals stretch you and the steps you must take daily are typically momentarily “painful” so your mind will always tell you to stop, reschedule it or hit entirely.

Why is this important?

When you know this about you, you can stay aware and practice Self leadership to check the parts of you that look at your goal strategy as a “problem” and then start fixing for that with problem-fixing behavior like Instagram scrolling, food snacking, “resting” or listening to a podcast.

This is why knowing your SPB (self protective behavior) and your problem-fixing behaviors is ESSENTIAL so that when you find yourself doing them, you can empathize and redirect back your scheduled goal strategy!

Goals feel painful. They’re supposed to.

And when you reach your goal you’ll know you’re one of the top 1% of people that can do hard things, you’re powerful, consistent, trustworthy and accomplished.

Reaching a goal gives you the end result you wanted: a smaller waist, more money each month, a healthier and happier marriage, peace of mind. All amazing to have.

But goal setting and accomplishing it are for far more than the end result.

The self trust and confidence you feel and after doing something difficult is truly priceless. It’s like earning internal capital.

Value in your internal system.

A place where your parts see you as someone who can be followed and trusted.

Implicitly.

You create a subconscious that starts letting you drive the car whenever you want. And when you can drive the car more often, you’ll notice you’ll able to get to your destination even faster and with more ease.

Cheers to driving fast and being trusted.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

I coach coaches but  I’ve been scared to tell you ….

There is nothing more I want to do than to share my knowledge about how to coach and the how-tos of starting and scaling a successful coaching business. 

Some of you may or may not know that I’ve earned well over half a million dollars as a coach in just the past 2 years in business. 

With deep respect and pride I believe I’m really good at helping people change their behaviors, thoughts and emotions as well as being really good at business. 

(Honestly, I think I’m better at business than I am coaching. No shade to my coaching part. lol)

Don’t get it twisted, boo. I deliver fully on my promise for my coaching programs. 

However, I genuinely believe that the reason I’m really successful at making a lot of money as a coach is because……

I’m great at applied science. 

What the freak is that?

Applied science is a discipline that is used to apply existing scientific knowledge to develop more practical applications, for example: technology or inventions. 

Naval said it perfectly, “Society, business & money are downstream of technology, which is itself downstream of science. Science applied is the engine of humanity.”

A more specific example: I follow this awesome plastic surgeon on instagram named Dr. Amir Karam. He does these facelifts on women that help them look way younger without that weird cat lady look. 

He has applied his skill as a surgeon and his knowledge in human anatomy, but specifically the muscles, nerves and skin on the face, to create these two procedures called Vertical Prevent and Vertical Restore that help women stay looking youthful for a lot longer. 

I’m sure there are thousands of ways to lift a face. (ugh that just sounds painful). But he applied his knowledge in the human body and how it ages to create a surgical procedure and technique that gives women a more natural and long lasting youthful appearance. 

And I bet he makes millions of dollars a year doing it. 

So back to the coaching biz. 

Because I’ve studied, researched and been trained in human behavior, the mind, nervous system, how to change it, and how  and why people take very specific actions (click, open, read, watch, book a call, buy my offers) it makes me a very successful coach. 

I know how to get peoples attention, keep, make offers in a way that will get them to say yes and then invest in themselves to solve their problem that my coaching solves.

There are tons of coaches out there. 

Really amazing coaches that are educated, licensed, certified, trained and degree’d up…..but they’re broke with no clients. 

They can’t capture someone’s attention let alone sell them their services.

And it has nothing to do with their ability to help clients get transformational results. They can. 

But they can only do that if they can influence a client to buy their program. 

But so many coaches don’t know how. 

So many entrepreneurs don’t know how to. 

Making money as a coach is partially your coaching ability and mostly your capacity to get eyes and ears on your business so that you can then influence people to buy your program. 

It doesn’t matter if you do 1:1, group, an online course, a masterclass, a video training, host workshops, create 5-day challenges, low-ticket, high-ticket. 

There are hundreds of ways to make money online as a coach. 

And we all know that there are a ton of coaches out there that don’t really offer great services or big transformation. 

But the reason they’re so successful is because they know how to get people to buy….take action.  

So if I know how to help people take the action they want and stop doing things that cause them further issues…

And I’m clearly financially successful at it…

Why do I feel so nervous and anxious about sharing clips of me coaching my clients or talking about how to be successful as a coach on my podcast and my YouTube channel?

Three words: I got bullied. 

A little over a year ago in January 2022, I was bullied on Instagram by several therapists and therapists turned coaches. 

I also got bullied when I was in 3rd grade but that’s for another journal entry.

To make it even worse, I was bullied by a specific therapist that was in a very expensive group coaching program I was a student of. 

They wrote hateful, judgmental and accusatory comments and sent me DM’s saying that I shouldn’t do this work. 

They claimed I wasn’t properly or ethically trained and believed I was going to hurt people with my coaching. 

It was extremely traumatizing. 

They preyed on me consistently throughout the month until I finally blocked them and deleted their comments. 

This activated all the insecure parts of me. 

It put me into such a survival response for months. 

It totally shut me down professionally.  I was depressed.

I had so much doubt and fear to coach or create content. 

Something you should know about me. I’ve experienced a lot of judgment, lack of care, scolding and shaming for “mistakes” or inadequacies I’ve displayed as a child and as a teenager. 

I felt bullied as a kid by my family. I know this was absolutely never their intention but I was always anxious and nervous of making a mistake, saying the wrong thing or spilling or breaking something that I felt like every single day I was walking on eggshells.

Then at school I was this super skinny awkward poor girl with ugly clothes from the thrift store.

Kids are cruel sometimes and I felt it when I was 8 years old by classmates that sat behind me and daily said cruel things about me so that I could hear them.

Who am I kidding, I can recall the same types of feelings and experiences in my 20’s. I was super anxious that I would do or say the wrong thing and disappoint everyone.

Because my personality traits, decisions and behaviors have constantly been judged…it’s a very real emotional wound of mine.  

I know this part dearly and I’ve done countless hours of therapy, healing and deep work on these experiences that left me with limiting beliefs that I’m a mistake, I always make mistakes, I’m a liar, I hurt people and I’m not good enough.  

You can see that if I already suffer with keeping these lies at bay, being bullied by strangers online telling me that I wasn’t qualified enough to have or run the business I wholeheartedly believe is one of my life’s purposes, sent me into what felt like an emotional mid-life crisis. 

Entrepreneurship is already tough enough. We all have this negative inner critic judging and scaring us on repeat. 

Those mean voices are so difficult to manage when you’ve never been taught the right tools I have and teach my clients. 

I knew what was happening internally and the bullying and emotional and mental pain still took me out. 

I wanted to quit coaching. 

Or I should say, my inner critic told me to quit coaching. 

I even remember a client of mine had a huge transformation as a result of my support and tools and I couldn’t find the proof or reasons to continue with this work. 

I drank a lot of wine. 

I got a lot of therapy.  

I also reached out to one of my mentors who is a psychotherapist and the director of two therapy centers. She leads and educates therapists that join her center and she essentially retrains them and teaches them experiential therapy models (types that really have effect on behavior and emotion control) like the ones I use in my coaching practice. 

I asked her if she thought I should just go back to college and become a therapist so people would just leave me alone. I felt so defeated and saw more training and going to grad school as the only solution at the moment. 

She literally told me, “You can’t please the haters!! If you’re helping people, that’s all that matters.” 

She knows the training I’ve had, the modalities I’ve learned and who I’ve studied with and mentored under. One of which was someone who she herself had studied with. 

She shared that research has been done on whether degrees matter. Not that phd programs are bad but she believes that they really haven’t figured out how to train people in school.  

She assured me that a good therapist or coach in this line of work isn’t determined by their degrees. Other factors are more important and many of those aren’t taught in school. 

What is taught in school are counteractive forms of therapy like CBT and DBT which create little to no behavior change or relief.

I had CBT therapy and I found no relief or change personally.

Instead of transformational/experiential modalities that are almost NEVER taught in grad school and they’re the ones that create the most change in people! 

She explained that she has so many therapist come to her practice out of grad school and they know nothing about the brain, trauma and she has to completely reeducate them in order for them to be prepared for today’s client needs. 

She agreed that I’ve “been trained by the best minds in our field. You can’t go wrong. You’re not missing anything by not going to grad school.”

She believed that me having done therapy and healing work for my personal childhood stuff was essential and lent itself to my success as a coach.

Her leadership and reassurance was exactly what I needed in that time of total confusion. 

I always hear her voice when my inner critic happens to unexpectedly show up. It quiets down quickly now. 

So you can see….

I’m skilled and trained as a coach. 

I help clients get results. 

I absolutely am obsessed with this industry, healing and behavior change overall.

I know that my next step in business is to add two new programs to my services and both involve helping coaches and entrepreneurs build and scale their businesses with low effort, calmness and earn 6-figures plus every year. 

I have the blueprint on exactly how I did it and my ideas and tips are bursting at the seams to share it all with you. 

Although consciously it’s clear I have all the receipts and skills to do this, those younger parts of me still get terrified to share my ideas publicly after being bullied.  

I keep reminding myself (and them) that it’s safe to be out there and talk about coaching. Graduate degree or not. 

That it’s safe to say anything I want.

I will always get scared to do this. 

I will always be doubtful of my capabilities and knowledge. 

Your younger parts never forget the pain they experienced. They also never forget all the other times they got even more confirmation of it.

There will always be moments where my inner critic tells me to quit coaching cuz it’s too hard. 

I’m working through this in therapy now and have been because I realize its affecting my future business goals genuine desires.

Yesterday I had the best deep painful cry about my fear to show up and my deep need to be wanted by others. I’ll never stop doing this internal work.

Having someone to process and integrate these scared parts of me is essential as an entrepreneur and especially as a coach that leads others. I can’t help others if I’m not doing the work to heal those scared younger parts of me.

But I have to remember that thriving in my career doesn’t mean it’s going to be effortless, fearless and painless. 

I’m so so so proud of myself for not quitting.

To thrive in business means you love yourself fiercely through the moments that feel super scary because it’s that self-love that has the biggest ROI on you, your clients and your income. 

It’s recursive. It builds on itself. It literally makes you like a superhuman over time. 

You become someone that can handle any tough situation and does things scared but with so much compassion and love for yourself throughout the process. 

Or at the very least, you can ask someone for help when you can’t. Mentorship, therapy, coaching and guidance….I could not have gotten through this situation without it.

You deserve to give yourself a career you love.

Imagine how it would feel to have someone that 100% loves, cares for you, sees you and reassures you throughout your career everyday? You can do that for yourself.

And with the right tools and support from others, you can have it.

No matter what happened in your past, you are not them anymore. You’ve grown and evolved. Stop using your past against yourself. Instead, love those younger parts and try and be compassionate with yourself.

Your future can be different. 

Make the ending different this time. 

Cheers to not letting our past define us.

P.s. Hindsight is 20/20. I have clarity on being bullied NOW. But that’s not how it played out in real life. My next business move looked like it took power, strength and courage. And then I completely sabotaged it all. Publicly. It was crazy. I’m sharing that experience next week so stay tuned.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

A few months ago in December ‘22 I had a sales launch for my coaching program Bloom. 

It was super successful (in the world of Anabell and maybe even coaching in general). 

It earned over $100,000+ in revenue. 

Dozens of women joined Bloom and I was really happy since I met my income and member goals.

However…..

I worked my butt off. 

I started planning my launch in October. This entailed strategizing my podcast episodes, videos I shared on social media for the next 60 days and all the specific content that took leads from “cold to sold.”

The official launch began December 6th and my cart closed on December 12th. 

I had over 75 clarity calls scheduled all throughout the month of December and some in January. 

Mind you, this was during the Christmas and New Year holiday season. 

My best friend invited me to go with her to Mexico City to see Bad Bunny in concert but I was so busy that I couldn’t even take 3 days to relax. 

So wack. 

Come January after the launch was over I found myself not wanting to make videos, podcast episodes or posts on social media. 

Nothing. 

I felt so shut down energetically. 

I almost felt resentful with my followers and listeners…as if they were putting pressure on me to post. 

I was indignant about taking 3 months off after a “successful launch.”

During January I had a new open schedule with no more 1:1 clients, just group. 

I had less things on my calendar and I still felt super tired. 

I also had this nonstop feeling of wanting to be alone and not show up to be with others. 

So let me explain what happened here. 

After reflecting on what worked and what didn’t work in my launch… as well as looking at my lifestyle needs and goals…..

 I realized that the hustle of live launching and hosting live sales calls was completely contradictory to my personal goals as a woman and mother. 

It went completely against what I teach in Bloom which is… you can do less and have exponentially more. 

The point of me starting Bloom was to scale my coaching business. 

I had such a big demand on my services that I had to find a way to make my coaching accessible and available to everyone that needed my help. 

Going from 1:1 to group was the way to do it. Otherwise it would take me 40 years to coach everyone on my waiting list. 

So although I finally was able to start Bloom last summer, I was still in this hustley mentality and behavior in the sales part of my business. 

It was abundantly clear that I couldn’t go on with a sales system like I had done the full two years prior. 

Let me be really clear.  

There was nothing “wrong” with this launching method. 

It worked. 

I sold out every single quarter and earned hundreds of thousands every year.  

However, for this point in my life and career…it wasn’t right for me. 

I had to find another way to not let my business interfere with my role as a single mother and hopefully as a wife in the near future. 

I reminded myself, “I don’t live to work. I work to live.”

My business is what I do in order to support the beautiful life that I’ve created. 

I needed to be able to have slow mornings with my girls so we could have breakfast, chat, make their lunches together and take them to school. 

It was important I pick them up from school each day at 1:15 or 2:45 pm. (Mondays are minimum days for Juliette and Penelope). 

My evenings needed to be free to rest, date and simply be present for my family and for a man in my life. 

I never used to rest. I never took vacations. I never used “sick days” when I had a job. 

I would work my butt off and only when I was burnt out or made a big mistake at work that I wanted to hide from afterwards would I take a day off. 

I always worked from a place of scarcity.  A place of fear.  A place of production to look cool and successful.   

After doing all the work myself that I now teach my coaching clients that all that overworking which I called “being a boss” or “hustle” was really just a big ol trauma response I learned because I never had a safe and secure home. 

My parents didn’t provide stability or consistency in money or home. 

We moved every year and never had enough of anything. 

So I learned to work hard at a young age. I got a job my senior year in high school and never looked back. 

Although I wanted to be a good kind and loving mother that listened, cooked, cared and played with her kids, I had no idea what that even looked like. 

All I got was my mom, depressed and anxious, hiding in her bedroom watching novelas all day. 

She never worked. She lived off the welfare system because she was so mentally and emotionally ill she coudn’t work. The only attention I got was when she yelled at us for bothering her. 

I never wanted that so instead I worked worked worked. (Not that that was any healthier.) 

Now that I’m 43 and I’ve addressed so many of my painful memories and learned behaviors, I know better than to work too much and not be present for my girls. 

Money doesn’t create safety in children. Presence, focused attention and love does. 

I also realized that whenever I rest, I get the best ideas and insights about my clients needs. 

I get most inspired about content creation ideas when I’m watching a fun movie, reading a fiction novel, going to church, reading The Bible, listening to music or spending time talking to my girlfriends, sisters or being on a date!

Good rest definitely creates great work. 

I show up happier and more energized for my clients after thinking about them all week. 

I make the best podcasts, videos and journal entries when I’ve had true downtime away from my desk. 

Rest recharges you. 

Rest refuels you. 

Rest inspires creativity. 

Rest makes you miss people. 

Rest gives you space to think your own thoughts. 

Make sure you’re not just listening to books, podcasts, instagram posts and youtube videos and call it rest. 

Shut off from social and tech. 

Notice if you never take a vacation for actual relaxation. 

Notice where you’re beating yourself up if you take an hour lunch to actually eat and rest away from your desk.

Notice if the only time you take work off is to run errands and go to doctor appointments. 

Stop doing that. It will catch up to you and won’t be pretty when it does. 

You need real rest. You need to hear your own internal parts speak to you. Otherwise you never have your own ideas and you’re just copying others. 

My 30 minute walk around my neighborhood is so valuable to me. It’s when God gives me the best ideas. 

I had to have a physically exhausting launch to learn that I didn’t want to do that again. But many people wouldn’t have gotten that message. They wouldn’t justified the means to the end. “Well I made $100k. Who cares if I shut down completely for 3 months. It’s worth it.”

I’m not here to survive anymore.  I want to thrive. 

I’m lucky I saw the lies in hustle culture. Its unhealthy and further embeds maladaptive behaviors like performing, producing and pleasing others. 

Sometimes you need a burn out to get lit up again. 

Sometimes you need to receive a lot to see it’s too much. 

I want to help thousands of people with my coaching but never at the expense of my physical, emotional or mental health. 

Never at the expense of my relationship with my children. 

Your work should support your life.  

Especially if you’re reading this and you’re an entrepreneur. 

Don’t leave your 9 to 5 and build yourself a job. 

What’s the point of that?

Make a career that fits the best lifestyle you want. 

Because it’s only when you have space and freedom to breathe and actually enjoy the fruits of your labor that you can actually bring your best self to your labor. 

Good rest creates great work. Always. 

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

Last week my car needed $2k worth of service and repairs….

4 new tires

New brakes

Oil change 

Windshield repair

I knew this months ago. 

I could hear my brakes screeching. I saw my tires were balding. The repair light was on my dashboard saying it needed fluids. 

I avoided it for months.

I didn’t know how much it was going to be. 

The thought of spending thousands of dollars stressed me out. I didn’t want to use my money on “car stuff.” 

I was indignant about it too. Like, “I shouldn’t have to pay for this. A man should do this for me. If I had a man, I wouldn’t need to repair my car and pay for it.” 

Sounded crazy.  And stupid.  And totally wrong. 

But it felt true to me. 

Finally after months of seeing the repair light on my car, I scheduled an appointment with my car repair dude. Mechanic? Is that what they call them? Lol

After they checked the whole car, they gave me a quote for repairs.

I ubered to a local Starbucks coffee shop to work while they evaluated my car. 

About an hour later, the mechanic calls me and says the total cost for all the repairs will be just under $2,000.00.

He also explained that if I paid in cash, he’d drop the price $100. 

I told him to do the work and I’d be there with cash. 

I wanted to save the $100. 

Here’s what I want to point out. 

It was so easy for me to understand and feel the value of paying $2k for repairs and saving $100 if I paid cash. 

Not only that. 

I actually had the money to spend on the car. 

This has never happened before. 

Anabell circa my 20’s, every time I’ve had car repairs, it always required me to spend money I didn’t even have.  

I never had a savings account. I mean, I had one but it never had money in it. 

I never made enough to cover all my bills as well as have extra to save from each paycheck. 

Never. 

Unexpected expenses like car repairs always forced me to leave some essential bills unpaid.

Water bill. 

Electricity. 

Car payment. 

Something. 

No, I never had money in savings to pull it from. 

Are you kidding?

I wish! 

But today I do.  

Why am I sharing this story with you?

Because of 2 points. 

History repeats itself. 

You’re like, “Yeah Anabell. We all know this.”

But do you?

20 years ago I was a single mom like I am today.  

20 years ago I had a job. I have a job today.

20 years ago I had bills to pay. I still have bills. 

20 years ago unexpected things happen that require money to cover them. 

Today, things still happen that require me to pay for unexpectedly. 

But the reason I’m able to easily handle things today is because I have a career that provides me a substantial income to handle big expenses AND take advantage of opportunities like saving money if I pay in full (or this case, in cash.)

I can afford most things now that I was never able to afford. 

A nice and beautiful home in a safe gated community in the top school district for my daughters. 

When I go grocery shopping I don’t have to look at prices. I shop based on my desires and priorities which are health. 

I shop for clothes when I want. 

If I wanted to go on vacation for the next 5 days, I have a career that totally allows me the freedom to do that. 

I even have the kind of relationship with my ex-husband that offers me support I need to take an impromptu getaway. He has my back and I have his. 

I have the energy, physical and emotional health and confidence to be in a two piece bikini on a beach tomorrow and feel and look great. (Mind you, I’m 43 years old and have carried and naturally birthed 3 babies full term.)

I have the mental and cognitive capacity to think logically and plan and prioritize things of importance and easily take action fast.  

Life keeps happening decade after decade. 

I would offer that a lot of the same things in life keep happening. 

You will always need money to pay for your life expenses. 

Sadly, people will get sick or injured. 

Unfortunately, people will pass away. 

People breakup in relationships. 

You will get a job, change a job or lose a job. 

You will have babies or new puppies. 

You will move houses or cities or states. 

Your kids will grow up and you’ll get older. 

And last but not least, your car will need regular maintenance like new tires, oil changes and other repairs.

Someone would say that these are all “bad things” but I disagree. 

They are all simply things that require your resources. 

They require your time, effort or money. 

But if you feel you don’t have enough of these resources, when “bad things happen”, you will believe they’re bad because you don’t have what it takes to handle them. 

If in your past, when something bad happened you never felt equipped to handle the circumstance and someone else had to bail you out, it makes sense that you feel like any unexpected thing is a setback.

That’s so fair.

So let’s think about it.

If I don’t love myself or know my value….and a man cheats or breaks up with me unexpectedly….I will view this circumstance as bad. 

But because I KNOW and believe that I am infinitely valuable, I know that someone’s actions do not define me or my worth, I will confidently leave a relationship where a man disrespects me with infidelity or be understanding when he chooses to leave for his reasons. 

So I ask you ….

How will your perspective and position allow you to approach and respond to things in a healthier and more confident way as history continues to repeat itself?

Will you react in the same way you did 20 years ago or 10 years ago?

Or are you healthier now and can handle the great roller coaster we call life?

I 100% attribute my ability to have money, a great career, offer big service to the world, an abundance of time freedom, healthy relationships, stable emotions, self-confidence, and my ability to think well all because I have focused the last few years on healing my brain and body from the effects of my past. 

I found and removed deep hidden limiting beliefs from my subconscious that were blocking me from having everything listed above. (I find new ones at every new level of growth and I’m able to easily identify them and remove those roadblocks with ease.)

I invested in myself to learn the skills that helped me create and maintain a beautiful life and body that I’m excited to wake up every single day. 

Yes, these are skills. 

The only reason you don’t feel the way I feel and do the things I’m able to do today is because you haven’t learned or mastered the skills I have and teach my clients. 

You were shown and taught a different way…a limiting way to handle stress and perceived setbacks.

You can have the valuable resources of time, energy and money by the truckloads. 

You simply have to clean up your internal system and remove all the negative effects that unhealthy relationships, poverty mindset, and societal norms have left on you. 

You’re walking around with belief systems that are keeping you from love, money, service, confidence, freedom, purpose, peace and fun. 

My coaching program Bloom teaches you these skills. 

Everything I’ve done to change for the good and healthy…I teach you exactly how to do it in this group. 

It’s the best and profitable investment you’ll make in your life. 

Not only does it change the effects your past had on you, it changes the way you think, feel and behave today….but it adjusts your future perspective to believe that “things in life happen”….

They’re not good or bad.  They just are. 

And you’ll believe that when they do, you are fully equipped to handle them confidently. 

I invite you to learn more about Bloom. Click here to learn about it and join me and all the other women changing their lives.  

I write this and and I will always believe it….You deserve to have a life that’s calm and easy.

You deserve to believe that you have the ability to handle anything that happens.

If I can do it, so can you.

You just have to remove the beliefs that make you think you can’t.

I’m ready when you are.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

It was my second full year in business as a coach and I was broke.

I was living with my sister in her condo.

Me, my three daughters, in one room and on one bed.

I had no other income.

I wanted to coach full time and it was feeling tough.

No one could afford it.

The pandemic hit people hard. And here I was trying to launch a coaching business.

But I knew I had to start a new chapter in my life.

I was divorcing my husband and had to get out of real estate industry.

I had done it for 12 years and I was done.

I didn’t have my own home. I was living with my twin sister giving her whatever money I could afford each month.

I was so tired of worrying and stressing about money and what my life was gonna look like post divorce.

I got whatever money I had and bought a $2k business coaching program.

It felt like I spent a million dollars. It seemed crazy at the time but I had a deep feeling that it was gonna help me.

My coach started the program by having me get clear on my ideal client.

It made no sense why she as having me talk about my client when it was me she should be helping.

After I got clear on who I was helping (back then I worked with men and women that wanted to heal their trauma), I began asking myself this question over and over.

“How can I get my clients bigger results faster?”

This caused me to focus on my current client to the point of obsession.

I focused on my clients results. Period.

I thought about them day and night.

I studied what they all had in common.

I learned their fears, needs, pain points and deep desires.

I added tools and resources that helped them when they weren’t in session with me.

I studied what modalities would create the biggest transformation.

I learned what they had done before, hadn’t worked and why.

What happened?

It was almost as if God would constantly download ideas and resources on how to help them and how to make more money.

I would read exactly the right book with the perfect solution to one of my client’s issues.

This happened over and over.
 

It made me feel more confident as a coach.  

Helped me sell better.

I attracted more clients because I was in so much certainty about my ability to get them results.

Clients felt that and they hired me. Over and over again.

I got referrals.

And I made 5 times as much money that year.

All because I focused on who I served.

I didn’t think about me or my bank account.

I asked what they needed. Not me.

The old Anabell would only worry about bills, rent, money, fear.

Only think about herself and her needs.

My focus used to be only on my survival.

It was only when I got my mind focused on my clients solution….that it became my solution.

Their success became mine.

Their healing became mine.

If you’re a coach, entrepreneur, employee, manager, stay at home mom, teacher….whatever you do..

Whoever you serve….ask yourself….

How can I get my _________ bigger results? Faster results?

Ask yourself this everyday.

And notice what you start having ideas about. Notice what books you desire reading.

Notice how you show up differently.

When you focus on a solution instead of the problem….life changes.

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

Why isn’t that knowledge translating into action?

Feel like you just wanna lay on your couch, watch the new episode of Shrinking on Apple TV instead?

Why aren’t the podcast interviews you heard last week helping you change your bad habits this week?

1. Because what you consume doesn’t always convert to changed behavior.

Let’s be honest.

If it did, we’d all be fit, wealthy and married to our soulmate.

We all know how to be healthy, rich and in love… but most of us can’t apply the knowledge. Why?

2. Your brain tells your body what to do.

When the brain and body are working optimally, they are separate but connected.

They function independent of one another and they work well together, sending each other data. Also referred to as differentiation and linkage.

3. Your brain sends thoughts and ideas. Your body sends emotions. #data

Both forms of data are information that tell the other what to do next.

For example, anger can tell the brain to defend itself against a thief. A business idea can be used to tell the body what strategy to act on.

4. But you can’t use this data if the brain & body aren’t linked.

In order to access this amazing knowledge you’re learning from your fave entrepreneurs and mentors, your brain & body gotta be sending and receiving at a high level.

Knowledge used is knowledge that is accessible.

Conversely, knowledge that isn’t applied is knowledge that isn’t being properly sent down to the body to put into action. So why does this happen?

5. You learned to stay in your brain or stay in your body.

You typically fall into one of two camps.

Your brain taught you it’s best to overthink, analyze and control your life. Or, your body taught you to focus on how you feel and how others feel in order to get what you need.

6. You need your brain to think. You need your body to take action.

Neither is more important than the other.

They’re each essential. But you need to be using both your brain and body at the same time in order to actually use your knowledge.

7. Do you favor your brain or body more?

If so, switch it up.

Notice if you’re someone who loves to learn, plan and strategize…but applying the knowledge feels hard (or impossible) to do.

Notice if you’re always doing things but they aren’t strategic or converting into the intended result.

Try your hardest to do the opposite.

Start slow & small.

What truly helps and creates more linkage between your brain and body so they’re communicating well?

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here. 

Have you ever received those “memories” posts from Facebook where they show you what you posted last year or 5 years ago today?

I get them all the time and last week I got one that hit a little different.

They sent me a video of my 8 year old daughter Juliette who was a year old in the video.

She was no more than 1.5 years old and she was helping my oldest daughter, Alyssa, empty out the dryer and put clean clothes in a laundry basket. She loved it more than a person should.

She was happy every time she touched a warm and soft piece of clothing.

Then she saw one of Alyssa’s bras and said “Oh coochie coos!”

Alyssa could not stop laughing. Neither could Juliette.

Juliette said it over and over again. “Your coochie coos. Your coochie coos!”

She waved the bra around and they both laughed hysterically.

Now…the video was so cute but it reminded me that a 1 year old already knew about mental concepts, predictions and emotions.

What the what?

Allow me to explain.

As her mama, I embarrassingly referred to boobs as “coochie coos.”

I’m the kind of mom that changes in front of my kids at home, walks around naked in my bedroom and bathroom or in my bra and underwear. All the things.

Sorry if that’s TMI but you ladies know it’s a total vibe.

The freedom!

Anyway…..what fascinated me about Juliette was that at 1 year of age, when she saw a bra in the laundry basket…she knew that a bra covered coochie coos and called a bra by the same name.

The mind is so freaking efficient.

What it reminded me of was how the brain makes correlations quick and naturally. Especially if its exposed to something a few times.

Let’s be clear, I don’t walk around with my shirt off or talk about boobs to my then baby.

Heck, I didn’t even breastfeed her.

So she didn’t see boobs and bras all the time.

So all it took was a few experiences with me wearing a bra or seeing me change my clothes and her mind understood that they go together.

Bras and boobs.  

Here’s where I get a little nerdier so hold tight.

Juliette saw a bra in a laundry basket and still understood it was for boobs. (that sentence is so weird and I can’t believe I’m writing to you about breasts but I swear I have a point.)

The mind/brain uses concepts and categories its learned about and makes thoughts, behaviors and predictions based on them.

Philosophers and scientists define a category as:  a collection of objects, events or actions that are grouped together as equivalent for some purpose.

They define a concept as: a mental representation of a category.

Traditionally, categories are supposed to exist in the world 

while concepts exist in your head.

For example, you have a concept of the color red.

When you apply this concept to wavelengths of light to perceive a red rose in a park, that red color is an instance of the category red.

Your brain downplays the differences between the members of a category such as the different shades of red roses in a botanical garden to consider those members as red too.

Your brain also magnifies differences between members and non-members….say red versus pink roses, so that you perceive firm boundaries between them.

Imagine you’re walking down a street in your city or town with a brain full of mental concepts.

You see many objects all at once. Flowers, trees, houses, dogs, birds, bees.

You see people walking, moving their bodies and faces.

You hear sounds and smell different scents.

Your brain puts this information together to perceive concepts like…

Children playing in a park…

A person gardening.

An old couple holding hands on a bench.

You create your experience of these objects, actions and events by categorizing using concepts.

Your ever predicting brain uses sensory input asking, “Which of my concepts is this like?”

Kids running, laughing and playing on equipment in a field of grass creates the concept “children playing in a park.”

There are variations of categories but your brain puts firm boundaries around what is or isn’t part of that concept.

If there was a big building with lots of classrooms near the grass, then the concept you might use is “kids at recess.”

Totally different concept, right?

You see…. go through life making inferences about things based on subconscious concepts and categories.

Ok so back to Juliette…

There were lots of shirts, jeans and sweaters in that same laundry basket but she never said “coochie coo” when she saw them.

Her concept of coochie coo didn’t involve shirts or sweaters even though they touch boobs and lay above them just as a bra does.

Interesting.

Shirts and sweaters are in a category all their own. Maybe around “clothes”.

And to think that at not more than 18 months in this world, her little brain and mind already made inferences about items, body parts and how she felt about them.

She knew a bra held and covered this unique physical feature that mom had and she clearly associated it with laughter and intrigue.

She could’ve just as easily felt scared when she saw the bra, cried and ran away. 

But she didn’t based on her concepts of that object and category.

Whenever she saw my bras, me wearing a bra or me without a shirt, she always laughed and asked what boobs were. We would always laugh and so now she associated them with laughter, mom, fun. 

You see….things happen in your life, you gain information from it and you take it with you. 

Always. 

You access those concepts automatically when you see the something that properly fits the category.

When you see the thing again, your mind will tell you what to do since it already has stored information, concepts, predictions and so on.

You may think you’re just walking through life but you’re actually using your stored past knowledge, memories, feelings and thoughts to:

• Make predictions about what will happen here
• What to do
• How that thing will benefit (or negatively cost you)

You do this when you meet someone, buy something, make a decision, feel a feeling, are offered something new and so on.

Your past informs and heavily influences how you feel about something today and in the future. 

Your deep subconscious mental concepts tell you

• how to feel
• what to think
• how to react and
• what meaning to give something

If you don’t like how you’re thinking, feeling, behaving and making assumptions and meanings of things and people…..

and worse….

if you feel as if you don’t have control over changing these 4 important behaviors…

You have foundational beliefs (concepts and categories) that need adjusting, aligning….changing to fit the person you are today.  

If you’re reacting to things defensively, ambivalently or with fear, anger, anxiety and you consciously know that they don’t merit that kind of a response, then you have deep mental concepts that are affecting you today.

They are limiting your ability to show up in the world the way YOU want to be.

“I know better but I never do it.”

“I have the strategy, why don’t I take action?”

“He’s so not good for me. Why do I stay?”

Those are the things I hear most often from women every time we chat in a Clarity Call or in the DMs.

They’re frustrated, embarrassed, guilty and shameful. 

You have deep subconscious mental concepts that are guiding your reactions to the people and world around you.

And unless you know what’s down there, understand why it got there and finally remove it…. you’ll never be able to have the life you want.

You’ll always be driven by the mental concepts you learned way back when and are now causing you to stay stuck or move towards all the wrong things.

There’s nothing worse than not living up to your own full potential.

Watching everyone else live.

Watching them win while you’re sitting on the sidelines.

It’s time you chose something different.

Cuz guess what? 

People are safe.

The world is kind and supportive.

Some things feel tough at first, but it gets really easy and beautiful. 

Don’t let your old concepts ruin your chance for a great summer ‘23. 

You deserve it. 

Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him. 

Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!

Let’s Connect

If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!

Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with.

Learn How To  Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here  and Join my mini course here.

Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!

Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset.  Click here to subscribe. 

Follow me on instagram by clicking here. 

Follow me on Tik Tok by clicking here.