Welcome back to another episode of the Blooming Podcast.
This episode is for all you beautiful single God-loving woman!
Hold on to your seats because I’m giving you the best dating and mating advice of your life. Get a pen out, take notes and pay attention.
You women know that I study the brain and body like a research scientist. And I’ve been studying the male and female brain this year and it changed my life.
I’m sharing all the neuroscience of female/male attraction, how it happens, what you need to do to make a man want you and we’re gonna geek out.
Love is a science and it can be created!
God made us so perfectly to fit together like a glove but your unhealthy masculine patterns will unfortunately get in the way of your ability to attract, bond with and commit with a healthy masculine man and I’m sharing all the details in this episode.
Listen to the episode for all the details.
FROM THIS EPISODE-
“When a man is being chased by a woman or she sleeps with him too soon, he innately sees her as having low standards and he subconsciously believes she’s someone he can’t trust. And a masculine man will NEVER commit to or marry a woman he can’t trust.“
QUICK HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:
The 3 hormones that men need in order to fall in love
What a masculine man wants
What makes a masculine man repelled by you
What you need to do to attract him, bond and get him to commit
The WORST masculine behavior that makes him see you as a competitor and not a companion
Resources For You
– Listen to Ep. 114: Scared Masculine Girl vs. Confident Feminine Woman HERE
Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that keep you from attracting a masculine man the protects and provides.
Want to read my private journal entry?! Thriving, the weekly journal entry I send out to my private subscribers every Thursday is where I share all my personal and professional moments that messed me up but made me thrive. Click here to subscribe and read my latest entry.
And if you love the episode, Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts so others can find it too. Your feedback helps other listeners find the show and encourages me to keep creating content.
Welcome to the Blooming Podcast! Today, we have a very special guest joining us, Dennis Vetrano, a highly experienced divorce attorney. He share expert advice on relationships, parenting and divorce on his social media with more than 210K followers.
In this interview, Dennis shares valuable insights on why we tend to ignore relationship issues and the importance of effective communication in nurturing healthy connections. We challenge the notion of finding a soulmate and explore the idea that multiple soulmates can exist, emphasizing the need for personal growth and self-love before seeking a lifelong partner.
Join us as we discuss the significance of being comfortable with solitude and the role it plays in building fulfilling relationships. Dennis also highlights the importance of patience when it comes to choosing the right life partner, and how taking the time to truly know someone can lead to long-lasting happiness.
FROM THIS EPISODE-
“Be comfortable loving you and loving your life before you can possibly think about loving anybody else. Being alone? Just them. It’s all about them. Just loving them. And then, then you’ll be happy. We’re gonna sound like repetitive, but that makes sense. But you have to be happy with being alone in order to be happy to be with somebody. Otherwise, what do you see happening? If they’re not happy alone, what are we doing?
“And that’s the thing about communication, it’s not just about talking. It’s about actively listening, understanding, and seeking clarification. It’s about being present and engaged in the conversation, not just waiting for your turn to speak. Communication is a two-way street, and both partners need to be committed to open and honest dialogue for it to work effectively.”
“I think you need to be patient finding the person… spend a long enough time so you get a really good feel for what this person is like through the thick and the thin, the good times, the bad times, like see how they react to different circumstances.”
RESOURCES FOR YOU:
-Listen to The Divorce Stories Podcast, CLICK HERE
-Julie Teffeteller- How To Save Your Marriage on The Divorce Stories Podcast, CLICK HERE
-Want to read my private journal entry?! Thriving, the weekly journal entry I send out to my private subscribers every Thursday is where I share all my personal and professional moments that messed me up but made me thrive. Click here to subscribe and read my latest entry.
-Get coached via all the great videos on my YouTube channel HERE
Hosted by Anabell Ingleton, a multiple 6-figure earning Coach, she shares new episodes every Wednesday on all things personal transformation, growth and evolving into and connecting to your Highest Self. Anabell shares concepts, tips and actual tools for you to use in your life today to help you remove the blocks that are keeping you fully blooming and creating the dream life you deserve. Anabell has solo episodes as well as other amazing coaches, entrepreneurs and her past clients themselves sharing what they do to fully bloom and change their lives. Anabell has served hundreds of clients in her 1:1 coaching practice where she helped men and women heal from the effects of stressful past experiences and used those thousands of hours of deep knowledge to create Bloom, a group coaching program where she helps women grow their confidence and self-love so they can go from “I can’t do that, I’m not “insert positive attribute here”….. to a confident, happy and secure woman who’s in charge of her schedule, decisions, relationships and future.
“To all you amazing listeners out there, it’s official: We’ve hit the magical number – 100 episodes of the Blooming Podcast! Can you feel the excitement in the air? 🥳
I started this podcast in 2020, and in 2023, I will hit my 100-episode mark today. I couldn’t have done it without your support and love. Thank you for being part of this podcasting adventure!”
I am celebrating 100 episodes with you all today with this special episode. I am sharing all the highs and lows of my journey, how starting the podcast helped me build self-awareness, confidence and reach so many people to serve them and what is my future content plan for all of you.
Tune into this episode to join me in celebration. Keep listening, and don’t forget to spread the word!
FROM THIS EPISODE-
“if you wanna get into podcasting and podcasting feels a little too scary at first, start recording into your phone and get comfortable with that. Get comfortable with hearing your own voice, because you have to hear your own voice if you listen to the podcast.”
“Motivation doesn’t just come right naturally, discipline is what gets you to feel more motivated. Discipline always wins, and when you’re disciplined, it just means choosing that this is important. You understand the why and you’ll show up. And, I’m declaring that my why is very, very big. It’s important, and I wanna show up for you guys. So thank you, for being here for the hundred episodes.”
“Podcasting is really about, Showing up, sharing your ideas and doing it bravely and doing it courageously. And I love that I’ve been able to do that for a hundred episodes. Mostly I learned that I can do hard things. So many times, I wanted to give up and quit the podcast and say, Ugh. I get a couple thousand downloads an episode and that’s great, but like, no one cares. Who cares? And I realize like, no. Um,, I’m glad I continued showing up. I’m glad I saw the value in it.”
“I just wanted to say a big thank you because this podcast has really grown me.It’s taught me so much about myself. It’s helped me with my business. It’s helped me reach a lot of people. It’s helped me get a lot of clients. It’s helped me earn money. it’s taught me discipline, it’s taught me about motivation. it’s just taught me so much. And then it’s helped me serve a lot of you guys.“
QUICK HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Thank You notes for all of you
My three-year podcasting journey in brief
Why starting a podcast was one of my best decision
Scared to Start Your Podcast? Listen to my ideas on how you tackle it.
It’s discipline and commitment to your “WHY” that keeps you moving.
What can you expect from future episodes of the Bloom Podcast?
-Love videos podcast, Go watch the video Podcast of this episode HERE
-Listen to my fav episode- Ep96: Taking Care Of The Business (The Self-Organization Model) HERE
———————————————————————–
-Want to work with me in the BLOOM coaching program? Click HERE to get on the waitlist or join now if we are enrolling!
-Want to read my private journal entry?! Thriving, the weekly journal entry I send out to my private subscribers every Thursday is where I share all my personal and professional moments that messed me up but made me thrive. Click here to subscribe and read my latest entry.
-Get coached via all the great videos on my YouTube channel HERE
Hosted by Anabell Ingleton, a multiple 6-figure earning Coach, she shares new episodes every Wednesday on all things personal transformation, growth and evolving into and connecting to your Highest Self. Anabell shares concepts, tips and actual tools for you to use in your life today to help you remove the blocks that are keeping you fully blooming and creating the dream life you deserve. Anabell has solo episodes as well as other amazing coaches, entrepreneurs and her past clients themselves sharing what they do to fully bloom and change their lives. Anabell has served hundreds of clients in her 1:1 coaching practice where she helped men and women heal from the effects of stressful past experiences and used those thousands of hours of deep knowledge to create Bloom, a group coaching program where she helps women grow their confidence and self-love so they can go from “I can’t do that, I’m not “insert positive attribute here”….. to a confident, happy and secure woman who’s in charge of her schedule, decisions, relationships and future.
Have you ever wondered…”WHY is it that sometimes I feel like I’m split…or I’m torn? I wanna do one thing and another part of me wants to do something completely different? Why is that? And why is it hard for me to choose? Why can’t I make a decision? Why does it feel so difficult?”
If your answer is, Yeahh! That’s me, Welcome to the Blooming Podcast! In this episode, I’m giving you an inside look at your internal system. I’m explaining exactly why that happen with you, how can find your cause and how to fix it.
I also discussed how my client’s overspending habit loop kept her from starting a saving habit until we sat down, worked, and found ways to heal her broken internal links.
Tune in now to get the answers you need!
FROM THIS EPISODE-
“In bloom, what we do is we find out what are these, we call them maladaptive behaviors. it was a defensive behavior that you learned to do because Robert broke up with you. Now we’re just gonna be surface level with everybody. Now I go through life being surface, surface, surface forever. But now you’re realizing life feels so empty Anabell because I don’t have any deep connections with anybody cuz I’m so guarded, I’m so surface with everybody.”
“You wanna be the one always driving your car. And the only way that you can do that is if you calm these parts down, know all of them and know How they live in this world because you just don’t wanna surviving. You wanna thrive….like living out your best life and living out your destiny…”
QUICK HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Your body is made up of wonderful pieces of puzzle inside of you
What happens when your internal pieces break down and just keep floating inside you?
How are parts and limiting beliefs created?
Your limiting schema is causing you to live in fear
To heal, your broken internal pieces need completion
My client’s Story- she stopped her overspending habit by finding and fixing her internal pieces
–How Parts and Limiting Beliefs Are Created? Download the pdf to understand. LINK HERE
-Watch the video podcast of this episode on the Youtube channel, GO HERE!
-Want to work with me in the BLOOM coaching program?Click HERE to get on the waitlist or join now if we are enrolling!
-Want to read my private journal? Thriving is my weekly journal entry I send out to my private subscribers every Thursday where I share all my personal and professional moments that messed me up but made me thrive. CLICK HERE to subscribe and read my latest entry.
And if you love the episode, Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts so others can find it too. Your feedback helps other listeners find the show and encourages me to keep creating content.
Last week my car needed $2k worth of service and repairs….
4 new tires
New brakes
Oil change
Windshield repair
I knew this months ago.
I could hear my brakes screeching. I saw my tires were balding. The repair light was on my dashboard saying it needed fluids.
I avoided it for months.
I didn’t know how much it was going to be.
The thought of spending thousands of dollars stressed me out. I didn’t want to use my money on “car stuff.”
I was indignant about it too. Like, “I shouldn’t have to pay for this. A man should do this for me. If I had a man, I wouldn’t need to repair my car and pay for it.”
Sounded crazy. And stupid. And totally wrong.
But it felt true to me.
Finally after months of seeing the repair light on my car, I scheduled an appointment with my car repair dude. Mechanic? Is that what they call them? Lol
After they checked the whole car, they gave me a quote for repairs.
I ubered to a local Starbucks coffee shop to work while they evaluated my car.
About an hour later, the mechanic calls me and says the total cost for all the repairs will be just under $2,000.00.
He also explained that if I paid in cash, he’d drop the price $100.
I told him to do the work and I’d be there with cash.
I wanted to save the $100.
Here’s what I want to point out.
It was so easy for me to understand and feel the value of paying $2k for repairs and saving $100 if I paid cash.
Not only that.
I actually had the money to spend on the car.
This has never happened before.
Anabell circa my 20’s, every time I’ve had car repairs, it always required me to spend money I didn’t even have.
I never had a savings account. I mean, I had one but it never had money in it.
I never made enough to cover all my bills as well as have extra to save from each paycheck.
Never.
Unexpected expenses like car repairs always forced me to leave some essential bills unpaid.
Water bill.
Electricity.
Car payment.
Something.
No, I never had money in savings to pull it from.
Are you kidding?
I wish!
But today I do.
Why am I sharing this story with you?
Because of 2 points.
History repeats itself.
You’re like, “Yeah Anabell. We all know this.”
But do you?
20 years ago I was a single mom like I am today.
20 years ago I had a job. I have a job today.
20 years ago I had bills to pay. I still have bills.
20 years ago unexpected things happen that require money to cover them.
Today, things still happen that require me to pay for unexpectedly.
But the reason I’m able to easily handle things today is because I have a career that provides me a substantial income to handle big expenses AND take advantage of opportunities like saving money if I pay in full (or this case, in cash.)
I can afford most things now that I was never able to afford.
A nice and beautiful home in a safe gated community in the top school district for my daughters.
When I go grocery shopping I don’t have to look at prices. I shop based on my desires and priorities which are health.
I shop for clothes when I want.
If I wanted to go on vacation for the next 5 days, I have a career that totally allows me the freedom to do that.
I even have the kind of relationship with my ex-husband that offers me support I need to take an impromptu getaway. He has my back and I have his.
I have the energy, physical and emotional health and confidence to be in a two piece bikini on a beach tomorrow and feel and look great. (Mind you, I’m 43 years old and have carried and naturally birthed 3 babies full term.)
I have the mental and cognitive capacity to think logically and plan and prioritize things of importance and easily take action fast.
Life keeps happening decade after decade.
I would offer that a lot of the same things in life keep happening.
You will always need money to pay for your life expenses.
Sadly, people will get sick or injured.
Unfortunately, people will pass away.
People breakup in relationships.
You will get a job, change a job or lose a job.
You will have babies or new puppies.
You will move houses or cities or states.
Your kids will grow up and you’ll get older.
And last but not least, your car will need regular maintenance like new tires, oil changes and other repairs.
Someone would say that these are all “bad things” but I disagree.
They are all simply things that require your resources.
They require your time, effort or money.
But if you feel you don’t have enough of these resources, when “bad things happen”, you will believe they’re bad because you don’t have what it takes to handle them.
If in your past, when something bad happened you never felt equipped to handle the circumstance and someone else had to bail you out, it makes sense that you feel like any unexpected thing is a setback.
That’s so fair.
So let’s think about it.
If I don’t love myself or know my value….and a man cheats or breaks up with me unexpectedly….I will view this circumstance as bad.
But because I KNOW and believe that I am infinitely valuable, I know that someone’s actions do not define me or my worth, I will confidently leave a relationship where a man disrespects me with infidelity or be understanding when he chooses to leave for his reasons.
So I ask you ….
How will your perspective and position allow you to approach and respond to things in a healthier and more confident way as history continues to repeat itself?
Will you react in the same way you did 20 years ago or 10 years ago?
Or are you healthier now and can handle the great roller coaster we call life?
I 100% attribute my ability to have money, a great career, offer big service to the world, an abundance of time freedom, healthy relationships, stable emotions, self-confidence, and my ability to think well all because I have focused the last few years on healing my brain and body from the effects of my past.
I found and removed deep hidden limiting beliefs from my subconscious that were blocking me from having everything listed above. (I find new ones at every new level of growth and I’m able to easily identify them and remove those roadblocks with ease.)
I invested in myself to learn the skills that helped me create and maintain a beautiful life and body that I’m excited to wake up every single day.
Yes, these are skills.
The only reason you don’t feel the way I feel and do the things I’m able to do today is because you haven’t learned or mastered the skills I have and teach my clients.
You were shown and taught a different way…a limiting way to handle stress and perceived setbacks.
You can have the valuable resources of time, energy and money by the truckloads.
You simply have to clean up your internal system and remove all the negative effects that unhealthy relationships, poverty mindset, and societal norms have left on you.
You’re walking around with belief systems that are keeping you from love, money, service, confidence, freedom, purpose, peace and fun.
My coaching program Bloom teaches you these skills.
Everything I’ve done to change for the good and healthy…I teach you exactly how to do it in this group.
It’s the best and profitable investment you’ll make in your life.
Not only does it change the effects your past had on you, it changes the way you think, feel and behave today….but it adjusts your future perspective to believe that “things in life happen”….
They’re not good or bad. They just are.
And you’ll believe that when they do, you are fully equipped to handle them confidently.
I invite you to learn more about Bloom. Click here to learn about it and join me and all the other women changing their lives.
I write this and and I will always believe it….You deserve to have a life that’s calm and easy.
You deserve to believe that you have the ability to handle anything that happens.
If I can do it, so can you.
You just have to remove the beliefs that make you think you can’t.
I’m ready when you are.
Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him.
Clickhere to get all the details & secure your spot!
Let’s Connect
If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!
Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with. Learn How To Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here and Join my mini course here. Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!
Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset. Click here to subscribe.
Feel like you just wanna lay on your couch, watch the new episode of Shrinking on Apple TV instead?
Why aren’t the podcast interviews you heard last week helping you change your bad habits this week?
1. Because what you consume doesn’t always convert to changed behavior.
Let’s be honest.
If it did, we’d all be fit, wealthy and married to our soulmate.
We all know how to be healthy, rich and in love… but most of us can’t apply the knowledge. Why?
2. Your brain tells your body what to do.
When the brain and body are working optimally, they are separate but connected.
They function independent of one another and they work well together, sending each other data. Also referred to as differentiation and linkage.
3. Your brain sends thoughts and ideas. Your body sends emotions. #data
Both forms of data are information that tell the other what to do next.
For example, anger can tell the brain to defend itself against a thief. A business idea can be used to tell the body what strategy to act on.
4. But you can’t use this data if the brain & body aren’t linked.
In order to access this amazing knowledge you’re learning from your fave entrepreneurs and mentors, your brain & body gotta be sending and receiving at a high level.
Knowledge used is knowledge that is accessible.
Conversely, knowledge that isn’t applied is knowledge that isn’t being properly sent down to the body to put into action. So why does this happen?
5. You learned to stay in your brain or stay in your body.
You typically fall into one of two camps.
Your brain taught you it’s best to overthink, analyze and control your life. Or, your body taught you to focus on how you feel and how others feel in order to get what you need.
6. You need your brain to think. You need your body to take action.
Neither is more important than the other.
They’re each essential. But you need to be using both your brain and body at the same time in order to actually use your knowledge.
7. Do you favor your brain or body more?
If so, switch it up.
Notice if you’re someone who loves to learn, plan and strategize…but applying the knowledge feels hard (or impossible) to do.
Notice if you’re always doing things but they aren’t strategic or converting into the intended result.
Try your hardest to do the opposite.
Start slow & small.
What truly helps and creates more linkage between your brain and body so they’re communicating well?
Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him.
Clickhere to get all the details & secure your spot!
Let’s Connect
If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!
Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with. Learn How To Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here and Join my mini course here. Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!
Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset. Click here to subscribe.
Avoiding eye contact typically stems from feelings of nervousness or feeling uncomfortable.
However, this behavior can be interpreted to mean you don’t want to engage or interact with others. You can come off as mean, uninviting or uninterested.
You fidget with your hair, small items or can’t sit still.
Fidgeting is a response to anxiety or boredom. Anxious fidgeting occurs because the body has elevated levels of stress hormones, which are prepping your muscles for sudden exertion.
The behavior can be off-putting to others as it can cause an uneasiness in them.
You mumble or speak at a very low volume.
Soft-spokenness can have a physical explanation, however, often it’s due to feelings of shyness and a deeper fear of being seen & heard.
It inhibits communication, causes your vocal chords to grow weak and over time creates feelings of self-consciousness and shame.
You overuse words like literally, um and like.
Filler words are typically used to give you time to think. However, they’re usually misused and used too much.
This can convey a lack of vocabulary and not being prepared to share an idea, which can come across as being unintelligent & unprepared.
You walk or sit with a hunched posture.
A posture that causes you to round your back, face downward and even focus downward instead of straight forward can give off the impression of fear, ambivalence or shame.
Conversely, when you walk, stand or sit with a strong upright posture, you present as very assertive and confident. Noble even.
Self-confidence is created by you and felt by others.
Imagine being in a room of people where you’re standing tall, making eye contact and smiling at everyone you see, speaking powerfully yet calmly and knowing exactly what to say.
How would you feel?
How might others feel around you and about you?
Confidence in yourself makes others confident in you.
It begins with you.
When you feel strongly and speak clearly about an idea or opinion, others will trust your confidence. Focus on one of these behaviors weekly. Notice when you’re doing them and remind yourself to undo it.
Your physical behaviors say a lot about how you feel and could give off the wrong impression if you’re not aware.
It’s important to recognize that your actions also activate feelings in other people. Physical actions convey emotions more than you think.
Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him.
Clickhere to get all the details & secure your spot!
Let’s Connect
If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!
Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with. Learn How To Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here and Join my mini course here. Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!
Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset. Click here to subscribe.
Have you ever received those “memories” posts from Facebook where they show you what you posted last year or 5 years ago today?
I get them all the time and last week I got one that hit a little different.
They sent me a video of my 8 year old daughter Juliette who was a year old in the video.
She was no more than 1.5 years old and she was helping my oldest daughter, Alyssa, empty out the dryer and put clean clothes in a laundry basket. She loved it more than a person should.
She was happy every time she touched a warm and soft piece of clothing.
Then she saw one of Alyssa’s bras and said “Oh coochie coos!”
Alyssa could not stop laughing. Neither could Juliette.
Juliette said it over and over again. “Your coochie coos. Your coochie coos!”
She waved the bra around and they both laughed hysterically.
Now…the video was so cute but it reminded me that a 1 year old already knew about mental concepts, predictions and emotions.
What the what?
Allow me to explain.
As her mama, I embarrassingly referred to boobs as “coochie coos.”
I’m the kind of mom that changes in front of my kids at home, walks around naked in my bedroom and bathroom or in my bra and underwear. All the things.
Sorry if that’s TMI but you ladies know it’s a total vibe.
The freedom!
Anyway…..what fascinated me about Juliette was that at 1 year of age, when she saw a bra in the laundry basket…she knew that a bra covered coochie coos and called a bra by the same name.
The mind is so freaking efficient.
What it reminded me of was how the brain makes correlations quick and naturally. Especially if its exposed to something a few times.
Let’s be clear, I don’t walk around with my shirt off or talk about boobs to my then baby.
Heck, I didn’t even breastfeed her.
So she didn’t see boobs and bras all the time.
So all it took was a few experiences with me wearing a bra or seeing me change my clothes and her mind understood that they go together.
Bras and boobs.
Here’s where I get a little nerdier so hold tight.
Juliette saw a bra in a laundry basket and still understood it was for boobs. (that sentence is so weird and I can’t believe I’m writing to you about breasts but I swear I have a point.)
The mind/brain uses concepts and categories its learned about and makes thoughts, behaviors and predictions based on them.
Philosophers and scientists define a category as: a collection of objects, events or actions that are grouped together as equivalent for some purpose.
They define a concept as: a mental representation of a category.
Traditionally, categories are supposed to exist in the world
while concepts exist in your head.
For example, you have a concept of the color red.
When you apply this concept to wavelengths of light to perceive a red rose in a park, that red color is an instance of the category red.
Your brain downplays the differences between the members of a category such as the different shades of red roses in a botanical garden to consider those members as red too.
Your brain also magnifies differences between members and non-members….say red versus pink roses, so that you perceive firm boundaries between them.
Imagine you’re walking down a street in your city or town with a brain full of mental concepts.
You see many objects all at once. Flowers, trees, houses, dogs, birds, bees.
You see people walking, moving their bodies and faces.
You hear sounds and smell different scents.
Your brain puts this information together to perceive concepts like…
Children playing in a park…
A person gardening.
An old couple holding hands on a bench.
You create your experience of these objects, actions and events by categorizing using concepts.
Your ever predicting brain uses sensory input asking, “Which of my concepts is this like?”
Kids running, laughing and playing on equipment in a field of grass creates the concept “children playing in a park.”
There are variations of categories but your brain puts firm boundaries around what is or isn’t part of that concept.
If there was a big building with lots of classrooms near the grass, then the concept you might use is “kids at recess.”
Totally different concept, right?
You see…. go through life making inferences about things based on subconscious concepts and categories.
Ok so back to Juliette…
There were lots of shirts, jeans and sweaters in that same laundry basket but she never said “coochie coo” when she saw them.
Her concept of coochie coo didn’t involve shirts or sweaters even though they touch boobs and lay above them just as a bra does.
Interesting.
Shirts and sweaters are in a category all their own. Maybe around “clothes”.
And to think that at not more than 18 months in this world, her little brain and mind already made inferences about items, body parts and how she felt about them.
She knew a bra held and covered this unique physical feature that mom had and she clearly associated it with laughter and intrigue.
She could’ve just as easily felt scared when she saw the bra, cried and ran away.
But she didn’t based on her concepts of that object and category.
Whenever she saw my bras, me wearing a bra or me without a shirt, she always laughed and asked what boobs were. We would always laugh and so now she associated them with laughter, mom, fun.
You see….things happen in your life, you gain information from it and you take it with you.
Always.
You access those concepts automatically when you see the something that properly fits the category.
When you see the thing again, your mind will tell you what to do since it already has stored information, concepts, predictions and so on.
You may think you’re just walking through life but you’re actually using your stored past knowledge, memories, feelings and thoughts to:
Make predictions about what will happen here
What to do
How that thing will benefit (or negatively cost you)
You do this when you meet someone, buy something, make a decision, feel a feeling, are offered something new and so on.
Your past informs and heavily influences how you feel about something today and in the future.
Your deep subconscious mental concepts tell you
how to feel
what to think
how to react and
what meaning to give something
If you don’t like how you’re thinking, feeling, behaving and making assumptions and meanings of things and people…..
and worse….
if you feel as if you don’t have control over changing these 4 important behaviors…
You have foundational beliefs (concepts and categories) that need adjusting, aligning….changing to fit the person you are today.
If you’re reacting to things defensively, ambivalently or with fear, anger, anxiety and you consciously know that they don’t merit that kind of a response, then you have deep mental concepts that are affecting you today.
They are limiting your ability to show up in the world the way YOU want to be.
“I know better but I never do it.”
“I have the strategy, why don’t I take action?”
“He’s so not good for me. Why do I stay?”
Those are the things I hear most often from women every time we chat in a Clarity Call or in the DMs.
They’re frustrated, embarrassed, guilty and shameful.
You have deep subconscious mental concepts that are guiding your reactions to the people and world around you.
And unless you know what’s down there, understand why it got there and finally remove it…. you’ll never be able to have the life you want.
You’ll always be driven by the mental concepts you learned way back when and are now causing you to stay stuck or move towards all the wrong things.
There’s nothing worse than not living up to your own full potential.
Watching everyone else live.
Watching them win while you’re sitting on the sidelines.
It’s time you chose something different.
Cuz guess what?
People are safe.
The world is kind and supportive.
Some things feel tough at first, but it gets really easy and beautiful.
Don’t let your old concepts ruin your chance for a great summer ‘23.
You deserve it.
Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him.
Clickhere to get all the details & secure your spot!
Let’s Connect
If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!
Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with. Learn How To Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here and Join my mini course here. Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!
Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset. Click here to subscribe.
I believe that healing emotional wounds is essential for creating the life you want. I want you to understand where I come from so that when you peek into my journal, you have a better view of my life and the way I navigate each situation, all while thriving together.
My passion for this work comes from my own experience of struggling with trauma and emotional pain.
As a single mother of three young daughters, my goal was to create a safe and happy space for them to grow up in.
However, I was emotionally drained and broken from years of living with trauma. I knew I needed help to heal, but I didn’t know where to turn.
This experience led me to become a trauma-informed coach, and I have dedicated myself to helping other women overcome their past and create a better future.
As a trauma-informed coach, I am trained extensively in the latest techniques and tools for helping people heal from trauma and emotional pain.
Working with me is like having a guiding light in the darkness. I create a safe and supportive space for women to share their experiences and emotions, and I provide them with the tools and techniques they need to heal. It’s a journey of self-discovery, where women can learn to let go of the past and embrace the present, just like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon.
My training as a trauma-informed coach allows me to work with women from all walks of life, no matter what kind of trauma they have experienced. I believe that everyone has the potential to heal and grow, and I am committed to helping women unlock their full potential.
If you are struggling with trauma or emotional pain, know that you are not alone.
I am here to help you heal, grow, and bloom into the beautiful person you were always meant to be. Together, we can transform your life and help you achieve your goals.
You might be thinking “But Anabell, what is a trauma-informed coach?!”
A trauma-informed coach is someone who is trained to work with individuals who have experienced trauma or emotional pain.
The three key benefits of working with a trauma-informed coach like myself are:
A safe and supportive space:
Working with a trauma-informed coach provides a safe and supportive space for individuals to explore and process their emotions. A trauma-informed coach is trained to create a non-judgmental and compassionate environment where individuals can feel comfortable sharing their experiences.
Tools and techniques for healing:
A trauma-informed coach is trained in the latest techniques and tools for helping individuals heal from trauma and emotional pain. These tools and techniques can help individuals process their emotions and develop coping strategies for managing their symptoms.
Personal growth and transformation:
Working with a trauma-informed coach can lead to personal growth and transformation. A trauma-informed coach can help individuals identify patterns in their behavior and thought processes that may be holding them back, and work with them to develop new ways of thinking and behaving that align with their goals and values.
Overall, working with a trauma-informed coach like myself can be a life-changing experience. It can help you heal from trauma and emotional pain, develop coping strategies for managing your symptoms and achieve personal growth and transformation.
Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him.
Clickhere to get all the details & secure your spot!
Let’s Connect
If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!
Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with. Learn How To Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here and Join my mini course here. Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!
Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset. Click here to subscribe.
BOOK OBSESSED, ENNEAGRAM 7, CHRONIC OVER-MANIFESTOR, NEUROSCIENCE NERD.
Hi, I’m Anabell, Trauma-Informed Coach
I’m Sex And the City obsessed, Audible addicted (I love a great audiobook) and will talk your ear off about all things subconscious mind.
With over 20 years worth of self-development books read under my belt, I should’ve known I was destined to be a Coach. But it wasn’t that straight of a road for your girl.
The amount of times I quote rap music lyrics daily, you’d think I would be a creative, not a Coach. But I bring my creativity, ventral energy and Pisces vibe to my practice. We’re healing...it doesn’t need to be painful!
I believe that healing emotional wounds is essential for creating the life you want. I want you to understand where I come from so that when you peek into my journal, you have a better view of my life and the way I navigate each situation, all while thriving together.
My passion for this work comes from my own experience of struggling with trauma and emotional pain.
As a single mother of three young daughters, my goal was to create a safe and happy space for them to grow up in.
However, I was emotionally drained and broken from years of living with trauma. I knew I needed help to heal, but I didn’t know where to turn.
This experience led me to become a trauma-informed coach, and I have dedicated myself to helping other women overcome their past and create a better future.
As a trauma-informed coach, I am trained extensively in the latest techniques and tools for helping people heal from trauma and emotional pain.
Working with me is like having a guiding light in the darkness. I create a safe and supportive space for women to share their experiences and emotions, and I provide them with the tools and techniques they need to heal. It’s a journey of self-discovery, where women can learn to let go of the past and embrace the present, just like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon.
My training as a trauma-informed coach allows me to work with women from all walks of life, no matter what kind of trauma they have experienced. I believe that everyone has the potential to heal and grow, and I am committed to helping women unlock their full potential.
If you are struggling with trauma or emotional pain, know that you are not alone.
I am here to help you heal, grow, and bloom into the beautiful person you were always meant to be. Together, we can transform your life and help you achieve your goals.
You might be thinking “But Anabell, what is a trauma-informed coach?!”
A trauma-informed coach is someone who is trained to work with individuals who have experienced trauma or emotional pain.
The three key benefits of working with a trauma-informed coach like myself are:
A safe and supportive space:
Working with a trauma-informed coach provides a safe and supportive space for individuals to explore and process their emotions. A trauma-informed coach is trained to create a non-judgmental and compassionate environment where individuals can feel comfortable sharing their experiences.
Tools and techniques for healing:
A trauma-informed coach is trained in the latest techniques and tools for helping individuals heal from trauma and emotional pain. These tools and techniques can help individuals process their emotions and develop coping strategies for managing their symptoms.
Personal growth and transformation:
Working with a trauma-informed coach can lead to personal growth and transformation. A trauma-informed coach can help individuals identify patterns in their behavior and thought processes that may be holding them back, and work with them to develop new ways of thinking and behaving that align with their goals and values.
Overall, working with a trauma-informed coach like myself can be a life-changing experience. It can help you heal from trauma and emotional pain, develop coping strategies for managing your symptoms and achieve personal growth and transformation.
Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him.
Clickhere to get all the details & secure your spot!
Let’s Connect
If this journal entry strikes a chord with you, share your thoughts with us! Join the conversation on social media, share your experiences, and let’s build a community of women empowering women. Your journey to love starts with a single step. Let this post be the catalyst for change and growth in your personal love story. Subscribe, listen, and let the transformation begin!
Want to know the 10 Hidden Masculine Traits That Keep You Overworked & Underloved? …..click here to download my free ebook to learn if you have them plus the 20 common masculine patterns that women struggle with. Learn How To Master Your God-Given Feminine Energy and Undo Unhealthy Masculine Patterns here and Join my mini course here. Join me and other women in my private community Feminine Freedom. If you love & respect men and marriage, focus on family, value self development and want to show up everywhere as a confident Godly feminine woman, this community is for you. Click here to join!
Listen to the Blooming Podcast where I share about all things feminine energy, faith, undoing unhealthy masculine patterns, behavior change and creating a feminine mindset. Click here to subscribe.
+ show Comments
- Hide Comments
add a comment