“Falling In Love” is not an event, but a process with distinct physical phases.
The feeling of being in love is an emotional and mental state that happens only after specific neurotransmitters (chemicals that help your cells communicate with one another) in your body are created but influenced by external experiences you have with a man.
And surprise surprise…..men require different ones than women. Men need three neurotransmitters to be present whereas we ladies just need two to fall in love.
Chemicals create Connection
God is a God of order and process. He made the human body perfectly with biological processes that are actually really easy to understand. They also require life and relationships to happen in a very specific order for you to reap the benefits of healthy attraction, love and long lasting commitment.
When you understand your internal system, how it functions, why he feels how he feels and does what he does and how these chemicals are influenced by your experiences with him, you’ll be able to feel more in charge of the dating experience and feel extremely confident everytime you communicate with a man.
The Feel-Good Chemicals
A woman has to have two neurotransmitters, dopamine and oxytocin, that build up to a certain level in order for her to be attracted to a man and ultimately fall in love.
Men need three, testosterone, vasopressin and dopamine. These 3 are critically important because they help him experience the feelings of attraction, drive to court you, bonding, and then committing which he will only do when he’s in love.
Different Chemicals & Different Levels
Dopamine is the common denominator between men and women. However, because men and women fall in love differently, it appears that a woman falls in love when her dopamine and oxytocin levels reach a certain level.
In a man, dopamine, vasopressin and testosterone levels must increase to a certain level but they must be present for a longer period of time. Men oftentimes take a lot longer to fall in love and this is why dating and relationships can feel challenging because of the different speeds and time at which each gender falls in love.
Dopamine & Testosterone
Dopamine is the feel good chemical you produce every time you enjoy yourself with someone or while doing something. This trains your brain to know what you like. Most types of rewards – such as food, drugs and sex – increase dopamine. The increase is perceived as pleasurable and makes you want more.
Testosterone is the chemical men are born with that shapes them into a lean, mean chasing machine. When a man sees a woman he’s attracted to, his body fills with testosterone and shoots him into action towards her. It’s responsible for making him pursue a woman, claim her and guard his mate aka commit.
Vasopressin & Oxytocin
Oxytocin has been called the “love hormone” because it goes up when people are in love but also because it creates the loving bond between mother and child. Oxytocin is created in both men and women after they have an orgasm.
Vasopressin is very similar to oxytocin and is present in high levels in men that have bonded with a woman. This chemical is what men produce after they overcome a challenge or stress with another person. It makes them feel like they’re with someone they can count on to overcome a tough situation. This chemical helps a man view a person as a “team player.”
Your Chemical Romance
You learned that 4 essential neurotransmitters are necessary for men and women to fall in love.
Men need testosterone, vasopressin and dopamine and women need dopamine and oxytocin.
Women, however, can tend to fall in love faster which can make relationships feel risky and anxiety provoking. And because love is a major need of a woman, you can tend to want to speed up the process so you feel better quicker.
However, men need the essential component of TIME which flies in the face of a woman’s goal to feel the love ASAP.
In my next posts I’ll share the steps and specific gender behaviors necessary to easily create these chemical reactions in your partner.
Want to learn more about him and what he needs from you? Join me at my new LIVE workshop, The Mind & Heart Of A Man: Cracking The Formula to What He Actually Wants And Needs In Order to Fall In Love & Happily Commit To You on March 27th, 2024 at 12:00 pm PST where you’ll learn exactly how the male mind and heart work compared to yours and what feelings, thoughts and actions he must experience in order to make him feel like you’re the one for him.
Click here to get all the details & secure your spot!
Let’s Connect
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