For a long time, I lived with a quiet conflict I didn’t want to voice out loud. I was doing deep subconscious work, the kind that reaches into the soul, the heart, the patterns that shape a person’s identity. At the same time, I was growing in my relationship with Jesus.
And the enemy used that gap, that space between my spiritual identity and my professional calling, to make me believe I had to choose one or the other.
I thought, “If I help someone upgrade their identity, does that mean I’m trying to replace God?”
I thought, “If I serve clients in this way, does it make me a less devoted follower of Christ?”
Those thoughts were subtle but heavy. They pulled at the deepest part of me, the part that wanted to honor God in everything I do. I subscribe to every teaching of the Bible. My faith is my foundation. So the idea that my work might somehow offend God filled me with shame.
And shame is the enemy’s favorite tool.
He tried to make me believe that faith and purpose were mutually exclusive. That I had to be this or that. A believer or a leader. Faithful or successful. Devoted to God or devoted to my calling.
But here’s what I eventually saw with perfect clarity:
God is not a “this or that” God
He despises sin, yes. He despises cruelty, violence and destruction.
But when it comes to purpose, calling and contribution, He’s not restrictive.
He is abundant.
He is expansive.
He is creative.
If He calls you, He also equips you.
And if He equipped you, it’s because He intends to use you.
We forget something simple. If God calls some of us to lead, that means He calls others to follow. Leadership is not rebellion. Leadership, when done from devotion, is service.
God uses personality. He uses natural wiring. He uses our curiosity, ambition, sensitivity, and intellect. He uses our experiences, even the painful ones, especially the painful ones. He does not give gifts and then forbid you to use them.
And He certainly does not hand you a calling just to shame you for answering it.
My Breaking Point Was Also My Turning Point
When my marriage ended, I went through what I can only describe as an identity collapse. I lost the role of wife and partner, and with it, a sense of belonging. That loss took me into a valley I did not know how to climb out of.
The enemy used that season to whisper every lie he could.
“See, you’re useless.”
“See, you’re not helping anyone.”
“See, you’re disqualified.”
“See, your work doesn’t honor God.”
That was the darkest time of my life. I was overwhelmed with shame and confusion. I even faced thoughts that made me question if my life had any value at all. It is only by God’s mercy and grace that I survived that moment.
In that darkness, I surrendered completely. I asked God to show me what He wanted me to do.
And He did. With stunning clarity.
He showed me that the skills I developed in the depths of my suffering were not secular replacements for Him. They were gifts He allowed me to learn so that I could serve His kingdom through healing, identity, and transformation.
He restored me to my original state. He realigned me with the woman He made me to be.
And He reminded me that giving Him all the glory does not erase my responsibility to use the abilities He gave me.
You Don’t Have To Choose
You can be deeply committed to Jesus and committed to your life’s work. These are not competing paths. They are complementary assignments.
Your gifts will not look like mine.
Your talents will not look like mine.
Your purpose will not unfold the way mine did.
And that is exactly how God designed it.
What matters is that you stop comparing yourself to others, stop letting religious fear steal your confidence, and stop letting the enemy weaponize doubt to keep you stuck.
The voice that tells you your calling offends God is never God’s voice.
Action Aligned With Your God-Centered Identity Removes Doubt
The moment you step toward the purpose He placed inside you, the fog begins to lift.
The shame dissolves.
The confusion quiets.
Your identity strengthens.
The enemy loses his grip the moment you move.
God can restore your original state too. He wants to use everything you have walked through, not to shame you, but to shape you. Not to diminish you, but to prepare you.
And when you choose faith and purpose together, you become unstoppable.
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