The dating world has changed.
In 2026, people aren’t settling, not because they’re cynical, avoidant, or don’t value or want marriage, but because for the first time in history, both men and women can survive, thrive, and build meaningful lives on their own.
Marriage is no longer a requirement for stability.
It’s a choice made from alignment.
And that changes everything.
A Message to the Women I Work With
To the women reading this, especially the high achieving, faith driven, self aware women I serve.
You’re not imagining the shift.
You’ve built lives you’re proud of.
You’ve invested in healing, growth, education, and self leadership.
You’ve learned how to regulate your emotions, make good decisions, and take responsibility for your future.
You don’t need a relationship to feel whole.
And because of that, you’re no longer choosing partners from fear, pressure, or scarcity. You’re choosing from identity.
From shared values.
From aligned goals.
From compatible standards.
From emotional and spiritual maturity.
That doesn’t make you difficult. It makes you conscious.
And it also means the old dating rules no longer apply.
A Generation Shaped by Survival, Not Partnership
Many of us were raised in broken systems.
Single mothers. Absent fathers. Homes where women learned to carry everything and men often lacked consistent models of grounded leadership.
Women adapted by becoming strong, capable, and self sufficient.
Men, often without mentors or initiation, were left to figure out masculinity on their own.
That context matters. It deserves compassion.
But adulthood requires choice and responsibility.
At some point, survival strategies must evolve into self leadership skills.
Because survival is not the same as intimacy.
And independence is not the same as leadership.
The Real Divide Isn’t Gender. It’s Maturity.
What we’re witnessing in dating right now isn’t a war between men and women.
It’s a divide between people who have done the inner work, and people who haven’t.
Between those who take responsibility, and those who outsource blame.
Between adults who are building lives with intention, and those still operating from entitlement, resentment, or avoidance.
Many women aren’t rejecting men.
They’re rejecting emotional immaturity.
And many men aren’t angry at women.
They’re grieving rejection, isolation, and a lack of direction, without the tools to process it.
Why This Conversation Matters Now
This article was written after a moment that made the stakes very real for me.
Recently, a man wrote to me privately and shared that he now hates women.
Not because women are cruel, but because he was rejected by several. Because a woman he cared about recently got engaged. Because he feels invisible. Because he’s been consuming online content that validates his pain but offers no path forward.
He told me he believes women don’t want him. And then he said something that was both vulnerable and frightening.
That if he ever meets a woman, he plans to treat her badly so she can feel the pain he’s felt.
This is what happens when pain turns into identity.
I shared this with my colleague, Dr. Alduan Tartt, a psychologist in Georgia. He wasn’t shocked, but he was saddened.
He reflected that many men aren’t getting out. They aren’t building confidence through real life experiences, community, work, or challenge. Instead, they’re forming beliefs through screens and extreme narratives that profit from division.
This is how distrust grows. Especially between genders.
When rejection becomes proof.
When pain becomes ideology.
When one person’s “no” becomes an entire gender’s fault.
Distorted Narratives Hurt Everyone
There’s a popular idea circulating that single women are happier and live longer than married women.
What’s often missed is context.
Many of these studies compare unhappy or unsafe marriages to single life. They don’t account for healthy, emotionally safe, faith aligned partnerships.
The real truth isn’t that men are unsafe or marriage is harmful.
It’s that relationships only improve life when they’re healthy.
People aren’t opting out of marriage.
They’re opting out of dysfunction.
Accountability on Both Sides
Women aren’t blameless.
Some enabled men instead of requiring growth.
Some gave too much too soon.
Some tried to fix instead of discern.
Some competed instead of collaborating.
Men aren’t blameless either.
Some avoided responsibility.
Some demanded respect without earning it.
Some numbed pain instead of addressing it.
Some confused entitlement with masculinity.
This moment requires honesty from both sides.
Faith, Choice, and the Future of Partnership
Marriage is still sacred.
It was created by God.
And it thrives when two whole people choose each other freely.
Faith doesn’t call us to settle.
It calls us to choose wisely.
The future of dating isn’t about needing each other to survive.
It’s about choosing each other because life is better together.
A Call Forward
Men are not the enemy.
Women are not the enemy.
Pain is the enemy.
Isolation is the enemy.
Unhealed wounds turned into identity are the enemy.
What people are asking for in 2026 isn’t perfection.
It’s maturity.
It’s growth.
It’s alignment.
It’s shared values and standards.
And when men and women rise to that level, partnership becomes not only possible, but powerful.
This isn’t rejection.
It’s evolution.
