I sat down to study/practice a new subconscious process on resolving grief. I always practice new frameworks on myself first. Twenty minutes later, it was like something inside me finally let go. Sadness, the constant emotional loop, gone.
And for the first time in years, I felt completely free.
I Didn’t Even Realize I Was Still Holding On
What shocked me most was that I truly thought I’d already moved on.
I had relationships since my divorce 5 years ago. I wanted to get married again..
But every time I had the opportunity to date… I’d find an excuse.
He’s too short. Too boring. Too young. Too busy.
It looked like I was being picky, but in reality, I was still attached. Attached to my ex.
My heart was quietly still holding on to him — to our love, our story, our identity of “us.”
I didn’t realize it, but that attachment was taking up all the emotional space where new love could have existed.
The Hidden Truth About Moving On
This work helped me understand something I wish everyone knew:
When you still love someone, and a part of you still wants to be with them, your subconscious doesn’t let you move forward.
You can’t fall in love with someone new if your heart still believes it belongs to someone else.
The end of a relationship — especially a marriage — is a kind of death.
And like any death, it requires grief.
You’re not just grieving the person.
You’re grieving the life you built together, the roles you played — the words “husband” or “wife” that once defined you.
If you skip that grief, you stay emotionally “married” — even if you’re divorced on paper.
The 20-Minute Shift
The resolving grief process didn’t ask me to forget him.
It helped me honor what was valuable — the laughter, the lessons, the love — and then integrate it in a way that no longer hurt.
I wasn’t erasing him from my heart.
I was simply closing that chapter with gratitude instead of longing.
Afterward, something inside me shifted.
I could think of him and feel kindness — not pain.
No desire. No “what if.” Just peace.
Why This Matters
Most people think they’re not dating again because there are no good men or women out there.
But that perspective — that external reality — is almost always a reflection of your internal state.
If your heart is still committed to your ex, even unconsciously, your brain filters out potential partners because it believes you’re already “taken.”
It’s wild — and so cool — how our subconscious loyalty shapes our reality.
When you finally grieve and integrate that love, you don’t just “get over” your ex…
You free your heart to love again.
And when you see your ex after that?
They just look like a person you once cared about — not the one that got away.
The Bigger Lesson
Healing doesn’t have to take years.
It doesn’t require endless analysis.
It just takes the right kind of process — one that helps your subconscious update the story.
Once your subconscious understands that it’s safe to let go, your heart naturally opens again.
You stop “trying to move on” and simply… do.
And if you’re wondering, “Can it really happen that fast?” — think about it:
You can fall in love in an instant.
You can have your heart broken in a single moment.
So yes — you can also let go and be free in an instant.
NEXT STEPS & RESOURCES
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