Understanding What You’re Really Attracting in Love
So many brilliant, beautiful women I coach proudly tell me, “I have high standards.”
And yet, time and time again, they find themselves entangled with emotionally unavailable men, charming liars, “projects” with potential, or little boys in grown men’s clothing.
It’s a confusing contradiction.
If your standards are high… why do you keep ending up with partners who drain you, disrespect you, or can’t meet you where you are?
Let’s get honest, lovingly.
High standards are not about how tall he is, how much money he makes, or how often he texts you back.
High standards are about how deeply you respect yourself and whether you require the same from someone else.
Too often, what gets labeled as “standards” is actually a list of preferences or projections—disguises that mask deeper emotional patterns, unhealed wounds, and fears of unworthiness.
And here’s the truth that stings before it sets you free:
If your “type” consistently leads you to pain, heartbreak, confusion, or exhaustion—then your standards aren’t high. They’re familiar.
Let that sink in.
Familiar is the man you have to convince, fix, or chase.
Familiar is emotional chaos dressed as chemistry.
Familiar is waiting for breadcrumbs and calling it “being patient.”
That’s not high standards. That’s survival mode playing dress-up.
So, what are high standards in love?
High standards look like:
– Being turned on by consistency, not chaos.
– Seeing potential, but choosing someone who’s already living theirs.
– Releasing the fixer role and choosing a partner—not a project.
– Saying no to chemistry when it’s not paired with character.
– Walking away when your nervous system says “this feels like home” but your soul whispers “this isn’t safe.”
High standards honor your peace.
They prioritize your emotional well-being over temporary attention.
They say, “I would rather be alone in truth than partnered in confusion.”
And guess what? That standard is magnetic.
Because when you truly raise your standards—not from ego, but from healed self-worth—you stop negotiating with men who can’t meet you.
You stop being drawn to emotionally unavailable men because you are no longer emotionally unavailable to yourself.
You stop chasing potential because you finally believe you are worthy of presence.
This shift doesn’t just change your love life. It changes you.
It grounds you. Grows you. And guides you to love that feels like home—without the fire alarms.
If you’ve been calling chaos “chemistry” or seeing your capacity to endure as a sign of love—it’s time to rewrite the story.
It’s not about being picky.
It’s about being powerful.
It’s not about demanding perfection.
It’s about expecting partnership.
You are worthy of love that is clear, consistent, and emotionally available.
Not because you’ve earned it.
But because you’ve always been enough to receive it.
The only question is: are you finally ready to believe that?
What You Really Want Isn’t Just Love… It’s Total Love Confidence™
If you’re tired of repeating the same painful patterns…
If you’re done calling chaos “chemistry” or potential “partnership”…
What you’re actually craving is something deeper.
You want Total Love Confidence™.
That inner knowing that says,
“I can trust myself in love.”
That emotional safety that allows you to stay soft and strong.
That self-respect that makes it easy to walk away from crumbs and wait for what’s real.
When you have Total Love Confidence, you’re:
- Emotionally available
- Securely attached
- Open-hearted—but not wide open to nonsense
- Clear on what you deserve and unapologetic about choosing it
TLC gives you the power to choose the best partner for you—not just the most familiar one.
And that choice doesn’t just lead to love…
It creates more confidence, more peace, more alignment.
Because the right relationship doesn’t complete you.
It amplifies the self-trust and wholeness you already built.
Total Love Confidence™ Isn’t Just a Feeling—It’s a Framework
Here’s the truth most women were never taught:
> Confidence in love isn’t something you’re born with.
It’s something you build.
Total Love Confidence™ is not just a vibe—it’s a state of being rooted in actual skills, tools, and principles that create real results in your relationships.
When you learn how to embody this kind of confidence, you stop:
Repeating your past
Confusing emotional chaos for chemistry
Settling for what’s “available” instead of what’s aligned
Instead, you start:
Filtering for your future
Attracting high-quality, emotionally available partners
Feeling grounded in your power, no matter what’s happening externally
This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about being prepared.
Inside Segura, I teach you the exact concepts, frameworks, and mindset shifts that allow you to become the kind of woman who naturally attracts the relationship she wants—and chooses it from a place of truth, not trauma.
Because the woman with Total Love Confidence™ doesn’t chase, settle, or self-abandon.
> She chooses. She leads with her heart.
> And she knows how to protect her peace while staying open to love.
Want to Experience This for Yourself?
Inside my signature coaching program, Segura, I guide you through The Open-Heart Blueprint—my proven process to:
Heal emotional patterns Rewire attachment wounds Build Total Love Confidence™ from the inside out Learn the mindset, behaviors, and tools to create the relationship you’ve always dreamed of
So you can you create a relationship that is:
Emotionally secure Passionate and exciting Rooted in mutual love and commitment Free from old patterns and past wounds
This is the power of The Open-Heart Blueprint—it ensures you’re choosing, building, and sustaining love in a way that feels safe, abundant, and deeply fulfilling.:
If you’re done settling… and ready to start choosing—this is your path.
Apply to work with me 1:1
This is where your love story changes—because you do.
And you won’t be doing it alone.
Ready to Break the Pattern—for Good?
If you’re tired of calling dysfunction “fate” and want to actually raise your standards from a place of self-worth, not self-protection… let’s talk.
Because healing is the new high standard.
Because you don’t have to do it alone anymore.
Because the love you crave begins with the love you claim for yourself.
Let’s shift your love story—beautifully, intentionally, and once and for all.
NEXT STEPS & RESOURCES
Want to learn more about The Open-Heart Blueprint, the system I used to build Total Love Confidence and go from guarded to open-hearted even after divorce and heartbreak? Click here to watch a video that shares the 6 steps and shares all the details.
Ready now? Want to learn The Open-Heart Blueprint? Click here to learn how to work with me Break free and transform the beliefs and behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & learn exactly how you need to show up in to attract a loving emotionally available man that wants you EXACTLY as you are and is ready for marriage.
Join the new membership community, Marriage Material, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.
Want to reprogram your subconscious with absolutely no effort? The ReProgram is for you. Ready to rewire your subconscious mind to fully trust yourself, trust men, and trust love again? This powerful 3-part audio series, The ReProgram, is designed to dissolve fear-based beliefs, transform the effects of past wounds, and embed deep, unshakable confidence in your ability to attract and experience secure, fulfilling relationships, and abundance. Each 8-hour audio works while you sleep, relax, or go about your day, gently shifting your subconscious patterns so trust becomes second nature. Click here to download now and transform today.
Join my email list for weekly relationship insights & subconscious love reprogramming tips.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Listen to the Blooming Podcast
I started this podcast in 2020, and in 2023, I will hit my 100-episode mark today. I couldn’t have done it without your support and […]
