Raising your standards and 10x-ing your relationship goals isn’t just a bold move—it’s a necessary one when you’re ready to truly receive the kind of love your heart has always desired.
Here’s why it matters so deeply, especially for women in their 30s and 40s who’ve loved, lost, and are now standing back up—wiser, softer, stronger.
1. You’re Not Who You Were Then
Heartbreak changes us—but it doesn’t have to harden us. It refines us. You’ve outgrown the version of yourself who settled, who second-guessed her needs, who made herself smaller just to be loved. The woman you are now knows more, feels more, and deserves more. Your standards need to reflect that evolution.
2. You’re Teaching Yourself (and Him) How to Treat You
When you elevate your expectations, you’re declaring to the universe—and to any potential partner—that you honor your worth. You’re not asking for perfection, but for alignment. You’re setting the tone for a relationship built on mutual respect, emotional safety, and genuine partnership.
3. Low Standards Lead to Recycled Pain
Settling often leads to patterns. If your past relationships felt unfulfilling or painful, chances are the bar was set too low. Raising your standards is how you break the cycle. It’s how you stop choosing from a place of loneliness or fear and start choosing from love, clarity, and vision.
4. Your Dream Relationship Needs Big Goals
10x-ing your relationship goals doesn’t mean you’re being unrealistic—it means you’re daring to want more than “just okay.” You want connection that ignites you, communication that nourishes you, and a man who sees you, truly sees you, and loves you in that place. That doesn’t happen by playing small. That happens when you dream boldly, set the tone, and allow space for the right man to rise to meet you.
5. The Right Man Wants to Rise to Meet You
High standards don’t scare emotionally available men—they attract them. When you bring vision, clarity, and self-respect to the table, the right kind of man sees that as an invitation to build something extraordinary with you. He’s not intimidated; he’s inspired.
Here’s the truth most women don’t realize:
The only thing standing between you and the deeply fulfilling, lasting love you crave… is this:
You haven’t raised your standards, clearly defined your nonnegotiables, or 10x’d your relationship vision. You’ve been operating off the same old standards and if you don’t change them, you’ll keep settling for the same past relationship dynamics .
You know I’m nerdy and I gotta bring in some brain facts to back up my coaching
Your RAS (Reticular Activating System)—the part of your brain responsible for filtering what’s important and showing you more of it. If it has no clear target/ focus, or worse, your standards are outdated or you’re focusing on is negative past beliefs about men, you keep attracting what’s familiar, not what’s aligned.
But once you get crystal clear on what you’re no longer available for…
Once you unapologetically define your new, elevated standards…
Once you dream *bigger* about the kind of man, connection, and life you’re truly worthy of…
Your entire energy shifts.
Your RAS locks in.
And suddenly, the “right men” aren’t just out there—they’re showing up.
This isn’t about being picky.
It’s about being *precise.*
Because when a woman decides she’s ready to love again—but this time, from her *power*—everything changes.
So, raise the bar. Dream the dream. Declare your heart’s deepest desires without apology.
So yes—raise your standards like your heart depends on it.
Because it does.
And 10x your goals like your dream man is already on his way to find you—because he is.
This is why raising your standards and 10x’ing your relationship goals is the first step in The Open-Heart Blueprint.
When you raise your standards and hold strong to your relationship vision, you naturally attract a partner who is equally committed to that same vision. In other words, you attract a man that wants exactly what you want and who you are.
NEXT STEPS & RESOURCES
Want to learn more about The Open-Heart Blueprint, the system I used to build Total Love Confidence and go from guarded to open-hearted even after divorce and heartbreak? Click here to watch a video that shares the 6 steps and shares all the details.
Ready now? Want to learn The Open-Heart Blueprint? Click here to learn how to work with me Break free and transform the beliefs and behavior patterns that hold you back in relationships & learn exactly how you need to show up in to attract a loving emotionally available man that wants you EXACTLY as you are and is ready for marriage.
Join the new membership community, Marriage Material, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.
Want to reprogram your subconscious with absolutely no effort? The ReProgram is for you. Ready to rewire your subconscious mind to fully trust yourself, trust men, and trust love again? This powerful 3-part audio series, The ReProgram, is designed to dissolve fear-based beliefs, transform the effects of past wounds, and embed deep, unshakable confidence in your ability to attract and experience secure, fulfilling relationships, and abundance. Each 8-hour audio works while you sleep, relax, or go about your day, gently shifting your subconscious patterns so trust becomes second nature. Click here to download now and transform today.
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