You’re strong, independent and you love god. You need a man that matches your spirit.

The ONLY reason you’re not attracting or choosing this strong and righteous man is you want him, but fear him.

Allow me to explain. You’re split. You’re torn. And a confused mind will ALWAYS lean towards safety and comfort. Let’s be honest, you’re used to choosing these guys with “potential.” They’re your comfort zone, they feel safe and that’s who you’re choosing . Why?

Safety for you means knowing what to expect & being in control. And  these guys with “potential”  let you feel in control.

What? How? Remember, when you choose men with potential it’s because you’re betting on who YOU are to make up the difference for who he isn’t. Men with potential match the same dynamic you had as a child where you learned that in order to receive love, you had to work for it. You had to earn it. You had to make up for what mom, dad or your ex didn’t bring to the relationship.

Men with potential feel safe. Secure men feel a bit scary because they bring that masculine energy you want but were never able to depend on in the past.

And because secure men take the lead, are ready for a relationship and want you to trust them and receive their love, they freak you out when you encounter them. Consciously you want him but subconsciously you end up pushing him away. So how do you fix this?

I hate to break it to you girl, but you’re living in your potential too (and you low key know it.)

You attract who you are, not what you want.

You must feel fully secure independent of a man in order to attract a secure man. He wants a secure independent woman. He also wants a secure feminine woman.

A securely attached woman trusts herself to provide a safe and loving life when she’s single.

She’s able to show up for herself consistently in every area of her life: career, financially, spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. She trusts & uses both her masculine leadership and her feminine receiving. She provides and protects herself.  She loves her life and feels really happy and fulfilled in her singleness.

And one of the most important ways she shows up for herself is by choosing a great man.

Secure attachment within yourself is the KEY to attracting and choosing a good man. It’s a form of self love. But if you still believe that the way you’ll be complete or happy is when you finally meet Mr. Right, you’ll actually never attract him. He’s a byproduct of your secure attachment. He’s the result of love, not the creator of it.

Love and trust yourself FIRST and then you’ll attract the man you want.

Jesus taught us the greatest commandment. After he commanded you to “Love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” He next commands you to  “Love your neighbor as yourself.” in Matthew 22:37-39. Many misinterpret this scripture. He calls you to love others as you first love yourself. You must  love God & love yourself before you can even attempt to love others.

A man is not the source of love. God is. You are.

A man is where you go to share that love you have.

Want a beautiful relationship? Learn to love yourself fully first. It’s not an option. It’s the only way. You do this with the skill of secure attachment. 

I teach this beautiful life skill in my coaching program, Segura.

RESOURCES

STOP dating like the world & date according to The Word. There isn’t a shortage of Godly men out there. You’ve just been attracting and picking the wrong ones because you’ve been using a worldly strategy. It’s time you experienced the love God wants for you. Segura is the program where I share how I believe you can  date, connect with and choose to the right man for you.  Click here to download the program now. 

Join the private Segura community HERE. The private community is where we unpack the Segura program, do live Q&A each Thursday at 12 noon PST and I teach the value of singleness, how to achieve joy in singleness and how your faith and God’s Word helps you be the best woman you can be.

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