One of the biggest reasons dating can make you anxious is because you’re way too focused on his thoughts and not your own.

You’re qualifying him for the most highly coveted position in your life: your partner.

Start acting like it and pay attention.

While you’re busy wondering if he likes your dress or thinks you’re pretty, he’s studying you closely to decide if he’s asking you out for date numero dos.

Men are logical, simple, and linear. If he likes how he feels with you tonight, he’s not saying goodbye without booking the next date. You need to do the same.

Dating is data-ing.

Collect it all and review it later like it’s your JOB.

Stay present, aware and sober. Of course you can have fun but you should also have facts about him that help you know if he’s getting a kiss or a “no” to his request for the next date.

So get out of your head and into your body.

Your gut will always tell you the truth and warn you if there are red flags. Your feelings are important too. Notice how you feel around him. Keep good eye contact, listen to what he says and watch what he does. Is he kind to the server, drink too much or have a great work story you can connect over?

Need help staying focused on him and not your personal dating narration in your mind?

The moment you feel yourself drifting into overthinking, touch your glass of wine, name the color of his shirt or adjust the napkin on your lap. These will ground you and refocus your attention on the present moment.

You’re not there to impress him.

Your job is simply to be yourself and allow him to be himself. This is the only way you learn the truth about each other and be able to make an educated decision whether he’s someone you’d like to continue to invest your time with.

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