What started off as thrilling and full of promise quickly fades. The texts become less frequent, the calls stop coming, and the effort he once put in disappears.
You’re left questioning yourself, replaying every moment, and wondering if you did something wrong—or if you’ll ever find someone who stays.
It feels like a pattern: the spark ignites, but just as you start to feel hopeful, he pulls back, leaving you in a constant state of confusion, doubt, and frustration.
You’re tired of the emotional rollercoaster—of men who seem perfect at first, only to retreat the moment things get serious.
You want to feel pursued, cherished, and secure—but instead, you’re left overthinking and trying to figure out why the connection fizzles when it started so strong.
What I hear from all my single successful female clients is when this happens, they tend to go into “prove your worth” mode. 🙈
You feel the need to over perform—showing him how amazing, successful, or accommodating you are—hoping he’ll finally see your value.
But instead of inspiring admiration, this pushes him away, leaving you questioning if you’re ever “enough.”
But what if I told you that he’s simply responding to you—not the real, confident, secure you, but the version of you that unintentionally and subconsciously makes him feel like he should pull away.
He can’t put his finger on it either. It’s not a clear and conscious knowing.
Something just feels off between you two and when a man feels confused, he won’t move forward.
He loses interest and stops dead in his tracks.
This version of you causes him to compete with you instead of cherish you.
Men chase and choose the woman that lets him “win.”🥇 🏆 😍🏃🏻♂️
If he’s not asking to see you, initiating communication or asking you to commit, it’s probably because of this…
He views you as a competitor versus a potential companion.
Men don’t fall in love with a woman because she earns a lot of money, has graduate degrees or owns her own home.
Leading with your accomplishments can make him see you as a competitor rather than a companion because….
Men find purpose in providing and protecting, and when they feel they can’t add value or contribute, it triggers a sense of inadequacy. Instead of fostering connection, it creates an unconscious dynamic of rivalry, which undermines the natural balance of the relationship.
Men at their core, at the heart of them, see themselves as providers.
He feels his best when he feels purposeful, needed and appreciated. Being able to provide for a woman reinforces that self concept of “provider.”
But most women unknowingly block his pursuit by:
– Trying to prove your worth through accomplishments.
– Over-giving, over-controlling, or over-performing.
– Taking away his opportunity to provide.
This doesn’t mean you should quit your job or should be unintelligent.
It simply means not to lead with it, talk about it constantly, or flaunt it by trying to pay for meals or planning dates.
Trust me, if he’s out with you, it’s because he KNOWS you’re a catch.
Stop competing and start connecting.
Instead, focus on showcasing who you are, not what you do.
Share your dreams, values, and the kind of relationship you desire—things that invite him to step into his masculine role and show up for you. Let him see how he can contribute to your happiness and growth, which makes him feel purposeful and appreciated. This dynamic fosters connection and positions you as his companion, not his competitor.
Men and women have different motivations for taking action.
When it comes to him continuing to pursue you, consistently connecting and desire to make it official, he’s motivated to spend his energy in places where he feels purposeful and one of the ways he does that is by giving.
Understanding how men think, feel and their motivations to act are essential to getting the relationship of your dreams.
Remember, there are two people involved and for it to thrive and last, both must get what they need from the relationship.
It’s no different than an employer and an employee. They need these duties completed and you want a nice big paycheck every two weeks. It’s gotta be a win/win for both people to stay and continue showing up and giving their best.
He wants to experience this part of you. The part that knows her worth and lets him give in abundance. It makes him feel like you trust him to do for you and he feels like a real WINNER. He wants to win your heart and when you let him give to your provide things for you, it strengthens his inner sense of self.
Men chase and choose the woman that lets him “win.”🥇 🏆 😍🏃🏻♂️
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RESOURCES FOR YOU
You deserve a love where you feel cherished, respected, and adored—and so does he.
The WINNER Method is your step-by-step guide to building a relationship where the spark never fades and the love only grows stronger.
Don’t wait for love to “just happen.” Learn how to inspire it with the WINNER Method in my new live Masterclass on Thursday, December 12th @ 12 pm PST. Click here to register and secure your spot.
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