Podcast

Ep. 139 – Don’t Be Hard to Get. Be Challenging to Have.

I'm Anabell!

I help strong successful women build secure attachment so you can stop settling men with potential and confidently choose the ideal man for you.

hey there

In this episode, we’re diving into the popular “black cat” theories that teach women to manipulate, lie, and play games to seem unattainable – and why these tactics don’t work with secure masculine men. Instead, I’ll show you what actually works: becoming a woman who challenges a man to have her through self-respect, high standards, and emotional connection.  

We’ll break down why operating from fear and control puts you in a defensive and offensive position, making a man see you as a competitor rather than a partner. I’ll explain how a secure man needs to pursue, be challenged, and lead to fall in love – and how this process transforms him into the best version of himself.  

If you’ve been feeling stuck in the dating world or frustrated by tactics that backfire, this episode will shift your perspective and give you the tools to create real, lasting connection with the right man.

 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:  

– Why “playing hard to get” doesn’t work with a secure masculine man.  

– The difference between being hard to get and being challenging to have – and why it matters.  

– How fear and manipulation create a dynamic of competition, not connection.  

– The key things a man needs to fall in love: pursuing, giving, leading, and being challenged.  

– How high standards inspire a man to rise to meet you.

Reflection Questions:  

Take a moment to reflect on these questions as you listen to this episode:  

1. Am I operating from fear or trust when it comes to dating?  

2. Do I approach relationships with the mindset of being a partner, or do I unintentionally create competition?  

3. Am I letting a man pursue and lead, or am I controlling the relationship dynamic?  

4. What are my standards, and how do they challenge a man to rise to meet them?  

5. How can I shift from playing games to becoming a woman of substance that inspires commitment?  

 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Join the new membership community, The Winner Method, HERE. This is the membership community of high achieving women who love & respect men and are committed to creating their dream relationship.

Secure your spot for the Craft Your 2025 Big Love Goals class! Join me as we start the new year with clarity, confidence, and a clear path to the man and love you deserve! Get all the details here.

Want more support? Click here to get on the waitlist for Segura, the coaching program that helps you break free from the insecure attachment patterns that hold you back in relationships & create the secure foundation needed to attract a loving masculine man ready for marriage.

CONNECT WITH ME:

Instagram

TikTok 

Website  

ENJOY THE SHOW?

Don’t miss an episode. Follow on Spotify and subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or RSS.

And if you love the episode,  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts so  others can find it too. Your feedback helps other listeners find the show and encourages me to keep creating content.

+ show Comments

- Hide Comments

add a comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *